Heartbeat
by rizzles-4-lyf
Summary: "What does it feel like?" She asked, seeming to relax as she moved to lay back down beside me resting her head just where my bump started. "It's sort of like butterflies." I started, pursing my lips as I tried to find the right words. "Except weirder."
1. 10 Weeks

10 weeks

**Mauras POV  
**"Do you think your mother will… scream?" I asked Jane curiously as we stood beside each other cutting up different things to put into the salad I was making for the family dinner tonight. Jane smirked down at the kale she was cutting.

"She will hug you. Tight." Jane chuckled as I unintentionally scrunched up my face, dreading the hug I now knew I was destined for at any moment. "I'm amazed she hasn't figured it out on her own yet." Jane added as she went back to the task before her. I tilted my head slightly as I thought through her statement.

"Why? I haven't been acting any differently." I realised, frowning when Jane started laughing from beside me. I nudged her with my hip, losing the battle of trying to keep a smile off my face.

"The fact you haven't worn a fitted dress to work in the past two months should have been her first hint." I rolled my eyes at her, my hands falling to my slightly rounded abdomen.

"Hear that? You've stolen all my favourite dresses from me." I said, my eyes directed at the bump underneath my shirt. I had a surprisingly big baby bump for ten weeks and could no longer wear any of my usual pants, so we decided we'd waited too long already to tell them.

"Wait until you see your mommy's ass in those dresses." Jane said, leaning down and pressing her lips to the top of my stomach. I giggled and rolled my eyes at her.

"Do you think we're being selfish?" I asked my wife, turning around as she wrapped her arms around my waist. My arms instinctively moved to wrap around her shoulders, my fingers playing with the curls at the back of her head. She cocked her head to the left slightly, silently telling me she had no idea what I was asking her. "For not telling them when we started trying." I clarified, smiling as realisation washed over her face.

"Not at all, we were being safe." She said, shrugging before she pressed her lips softly against mine. She chuckled into the kiss, pulling away to look down at the small bump that was stopping our chests from touching. "I wonder if this is preparing us for when he gets here." Jane mused leaning down to press a quick kiss to the bump.

"Preparing us?" I asked, deciding not to call her out on the fact that she _again _referred to the baby as _he. _

"Isn't this what happens when married couples have babies? They stop… touching." I giggled at her wording, knowing suddenly exactly what she meant as she nodded down at the space between us.

"That's only an issue for straight couples." I said with a smirk.

"Was… Was that a joke Dr Isles?" She asked, feigning shock at my quick joke. I smiled proudly and pushed her away, turning back around to continue with the task at hand.

We were telling Angela tonight and my mother when she came to visit in two weeks. They were both going to be very different grandparents so we had planned two very different ways of telling them.

Angela had been waiting for the best part of Janes adult life for her to give her a grandchild. Now that time was finally here, we knew we had to do something special to give her the news.

"Hi baby's." Angela said loudly as she walked through the front door, a pumpkin pie in her hands.

"Hey Ma." Jane laughed from beside me, rolling her eyes at her mother's choice of pet name. More often than not we were referred to as her sweethearts. She had picked a hell of a night to make the name change.

"Can we talk to you about something?" I asked in the sweetest voice I could, gesturing toward the kitchen bench where we stood. She nodded and sat down across from Jane and I, a worried expression making its way onto her face. Jane took a deep breath and grabbed the gift we had gotten for Angela from under the counter, placing it in front of her mother.

"….What's this for?" Angela asked sceptically, her eyes narrowing as she looked between us. I looked anywhere but her face, knowing that if she asked me I would not have been able to hide it from her.

"Just open it Ma." Jane encouraged, pushing the small yellow box closer to her mother. Angela sighed and began opening the gift, my heart racing a little faster the closer she got. One of Janes hands snaked around my waist, resting on my hip in anticipation.

Angela's face went blank when she got to the onesie inside the box. She slowly let her eyes move between the two of us before I pursed my lips and pulled my shirt tight around my stomach, my swollen stomach becoming apparent for the first time since she got here.

"Are you serious?!" Angela screamed suddenly, making both Jane and I jump where we stood. She placed the _I love my grandma _onesie back in the box and was quick to wrap her arms around my shoulders, squeezing tightly. Jane smirked from behind her moth, earning a glare from me.

"We're ten weeks today." Jane told her proudly as her mom moved to wrap her arms around her. And that's when the tears started. "Ma stop." Jane laughed awkwardly, rolling her eyes at her mothers emotions.

I didn't know why but I suddenly found my own eyes welling with tears. Janes face dropped as she walked past Angela, placing both her hands on my forearms, bending down so she was at my eye level, a look of pure concern all over her face.

"What…" She started, shaking her head, trying to figure out where the sudden shift in my demeanour was coming from. I shook my head, earning a quiet laugh from Angela.

"Hormones." Angela clarified when Jane shot her a glare for laughing. I nodded, confirming for Jane what her mother had just said. "I wish I could tell you it passes." Angela said with an apologetic smile.

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"Do you want to talk about earlier?" Jane asked quietly when we were in bed later that night. Her fingers were tracing light patterns over my barely there baby bump. It made my skin itched, but I didn't dare tell her and risk her removing her hand from my skin.

"Hmm?" I asked, not entirely which part of the evening she was referring to.

"When you cried…." I smiled against her shoulder, pressing a light kiss to the exposed skin before I looked across at her.

"It was nothing but hormones, seeing your mother cry triggered it. It's perfectly normal." I tried to assure her, earning nothing but a slow, unsure nod from my love. "Do you want to see the studies? Oh this could be fun! Let me go get my tablet!" Just as I started moving away from her, her arms wrapped around my middle. I giggled as she pulled me back against her.

"This might surprise you, but the last thing I want to do when we're in bed is read about pregnant ladies emotions." She said, burying her head in my neck as she spoke. Goosebumps made their way across my arms as her breath tickled my neck.

I frowned and sat up suddenly, one of my hands supporting my weight behind me while the other moved to rest on my stomach. Jane shot out of the bed, suddenly standing in front of me, her hands out like she had no idea what to do.

"It's okay." I assured her, taking her hands and forcing her to sit down in front of me. "It's just moving around a lot." I took a few deep breaths and waited for the strange sensation in my stomach to calm down. I looked across at Jane whose face was pale, her eyes glued to my stomach. "Hey… I'm sorry that was me overreacting." I said quietly, reaching out to place a hand reassuringly against her cheek.

"What does it feel like?" She asked, seeming to relax as she moved to lay back down beside me, instead resting her head just where my bump started. I thought about the strange feeling and had no idea how to translate the feeling.

"It's sort of like butterflies." I started, pursing my lips as I tried to find the right words. "Except a lot... weirder." She laughed at my vague description, moving her head to press a kiss to the exposed skin of my stomach.

"Do you want a boy or girl?" She asked, turning her head so she was facing me now. I smiled down at her, placing my hand on her forehead and letting my thumb trace her hairline.

"So long as it's…"

"Healthy, I know." Jane interrupted, rolling her eyes at my stereotypical response. "Be honest."

"I wouldn't mind having a boy." I admitted, giggling when her eyes lit up. "Though bear in mind I didn't have brothers growing up like you did, I wouldn't know where to start with a little boy."

"What are you talking about? You're great with TJ." I smiled down at her as she spoke.

"Babysitting is a lot different to raising him, Jane." She nodded in agreement, both of us letting that be the end of the conversation.

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The next night we decided to invite the rest of the family over so we could share our news with them, assuming Angela hadn't already screamed it from the rooftops.

"Why didn't you tell me you were trying?" Angela asked when we sat down to dinner. She looked between the both of us; clearly unsure of who she should direct her questions to.

"We wanted to be sure it stuck before we told anyone." Jane shrugged casually, and I was thankful that she had opted not to tell her family the reason we waited was because before this baby, there were two that didn't stick. Jane smiled softly at me as she placed the meat she had been cooking all day on the table in front of me. This, of course, had to be the first time my body had decided it wanted me to experience morning sickness.

"Jane…" I started, one hand resting on the top of my queasy stomach, the other moving to cover my mouth as I closed my eyes, trying to get the mere image of the pink meat out of my head. The smell was overwhelming, like nothing I had ever smelt in my life.

Without thinking I stood up and raced to the kitchen sink, the contents of my stomach spilling out into the steel basin. I felt Janes hands on my back, rubbing small circles on my lower back as I stood back up, sighing as I pulled all of my hair back.

"Tell me it's gone." I begged, my hands gripping onto the counter in front of me for support. I felt small beads of sweat start to form on my forehead.

"Gone!" Tommy said from the front door. I involuntarily frowned, wondering if the meal my wife had spent all day cooking had just ended up in the garden.

"I am sorry." I laughed, turning to look at Angela who was smiling at me from the counter opposite us. She shook her head at me as she poured me a glass of milk. I looked down at the glass with wonder. "When I was pregnant with Jane, milk fixed everything." I had done a lot of research about everything to do with giving birth and new born babies, but looking up the best cures and triggers for morning sickness was never at the top of my list.

_It sure as hell is now_ I thought as I turned back around to the sink, taking a deep breath as I slowly sipped at the milk in my hands.

"What are we going to eat now?" Frankie complained from the dining table. I heard a faint _ow _and could vividly picture Jane or Angela throwing something at him.

"I'll go get us pizza." I offered turning and grabbing my keys; Janes eyes widening as she took in my appearance.

"Baby go lie down." She instructed me, grabbing my car keys out of my hands and guiding me to the bedroom. I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, angry at my own body for ruining what should have been a great night. I looked up and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, groaning as I noted the sweat on my forehead and my pale face.

"I need to lay down." Jane nodded at my words and pulled the blankets off the bed, making it easier for me to climb in. "I feel so silly." I admitted, both my hands moving to cover my face.

"No one can blame you for morning sickness." Jane said with a soft smile as she climbed into the bed beside me. "Just for a minute." She clarified when I started to object to her spending time in bed with my while her whole family was downstairs.

"You should ask your mother if she wants to come to the ultrasound." I suggested, my eyes closed as the smell of the meat from downstairs started to make its way into the room.

"You don't want it to be just us?" She asked and I shook my head without a second of hesitation.

"It'll be nice to have another person there to get excited with us. Besides, we won't be able to see much of the foetus at this ultrasound. The 20 week scan is when we'll be able to see his _or _her anatomy." She looked at me with raised eyebrows and I couldn't help but giggle.

"You could have stopped at another person to get excited with us." Jane said with a smirk, pressing her lips softly to mine. "You'll be okay?" She checked as she started to slip off the bed. I nodded as reassuringly as I could as my stomach started turning. I waited for the door to shut behind her before I was on my feet and throwing up into the bathroom sink.

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"Isn't 10 weeks a little early for a scan?" Angela asked as the ultrasound technician began squirting the conductive jelly onto my bump. Jane looked up at the woman, waiting for an answer to her mothers question. I pursed my lips, knowing exactly what the woman was going to say.

"We tend to do the first scan a little earlier when the mother has a history of miscarriages." The woman smiled apologetically at me when the m word left her mouth. I turned all my attention to the small screen before me, Janes hand squeezing mine as we both refused to look at Angela.

"Here we go." The woman smiled as she began moving around my bump, stopping every now and again to take screenshots. She bought her finger to the screen suddenly, resting on what looked like a peanut inside my uterus. "There's your baby."

"Holy shit." Jane said from beside me, her breath catching in her throat as her wide eyes focused on the image before her. Then, without warning, the sound of the babys heartbeat filled the room. I felt like the air had been knocked straight from my lungs. This was suddenly feeling far too real.

"Wait…" I said with wide eyes as I deciphered what I was seeing on the screen in front of me. I looked at the technician who was smiling down at me. "Oh God." Jane finally tore her eyes away from the screen, scanning my face for any suggestion as to why I was panicking.

"What…" Jane started, squinting at the screen to try and understand.

"Jane… There's more than one baby in there."


	2. 14 Weeks

14 Weeks

**Mauras POV  
**I stood wearing nothing but a sports bra and a pair of work pants, looking my body up and down in the mirror from every angle I could manage. My boobs had grown too much for my liking already and I was already starting to notice skin changes to my face.

"I'm not excited about new pigmentation." I announced to Jane as I stood looking at my bare stomach in the mirror, my hands working cocoa butter over the bump.

"Don't most women worry about getting fat?" Jane asked with a smirk as she got dressed for work, hopping around behind me as she pulled her boots on.

"That won't happen to me." I said proudly, continuing to work wide circles around my stomach. Stretchmarks were my only real fear, but I was sure that with my usual healthy diet and moisturising creams, I would be fine.

"How can you possibly know that?" Jane asked with a frown. She turned me around, taking the cream out of my hands and directing me to the bed. I lied down and let her continue working the moisturiser into my stomach.

"I know I'm going to gain _some _weight, but not enough to classify me as fat, Jane." I could tell by her pursed lips she was carefully deciding on what she should say next.

"I clearly heard the doctor say you are supposed to gain a fair bit of weight with twins." She said with raised eyebrows, pulling my singlet back down over my stomach and helping me sit up.

"Well I am not deliberately gaining 45 pounds; that is ridiculous." I said with a huff, pushing my body off of the bed and moving to grab the shirt I had set out to wear today.

"You have two little humans growing inside you; _that _is ridiculous." She smirked, though I knew she meant exactly what she was saying. Here we were discussing weight gain and pigmentation when there are _two _babies inside of my body. "Are you okay?" Jane asked quietly when I started frowning suddenly.

"Heartburn." I complained, pouting at her as I made my way downstairs, desperate for a cup of decaf coffee I knew was going to make my heartburn worse.

"We're having twins. Like two babies." Jane said as she walked into the kitchen, fully dressed and ready for the day ahead. "_Two _babies Maura."

"Believe me, I know." I laughed, placing both my hands over my stomach. She took a deep breath and shook her head.

"Do you want to go look at baby stuff after work?" Jane suggested I couldn't help but smile at her excitement.

"I need new clothes." I pointed out, looking down at my black blazer that was straining against my stomach. Jane started shaking her head silently as she took her first sip of coffee for the morning.

"Sorry, no way." She chuckled, walking backwards towards the front door before stopping and walking directly towards me, leaning across the counter to press her lips to mine.

"Have a good day." I told her, rolling my eyes at the fact I was going to have to do shopping alone this afternoon.

"I love you." She said with an apologetic smile, knowing exactly what I was thinking. Just as Jane left, Angela walked through the door.

"Good morning Angela." I said with a warm smile, pouring another cup of coffee and placing it on the counter before her.

"How are you feeling?" She asked with a soft smile, looking down at my swollen stomach as she spoke. I shrugged, insanely jealous that she got to drink regular coffee.

"Fourteen weeks." I started, tilting my head to the left as my brain tried to picture what the book had said about fourteen weeks. "Oh! The babies have formed their fingers and toes this week!"

"That is too sweet." Angela said, gesturing for me to stand closer to her. I moved so I was at her side, smiling as she placed both her hands on the small bump.

"They have also formed their genitalia, though we won't be able to see it on a sonogram for a few more weeks." Angela let out a quiet laugh, nodding along with me as I spoke.

"Do you have any feelings about what they are?" She asked, taking her hands off my skin and back to holding her mug. I wondered how anyone could feel like they knew the gender of their unborn child. The logic made no sense to me. Jane was convinced we were having a boy and I could not understand why.

"I'd only be guessing." She pursed her lips at my answer, taking a deep breath before she spoke.

"Jane and I were both hoping for a boy before we found out that there are two of them in there." I started, trying to answer her question in the best way I could. "But now… Two boys?" I scrunched up my nose at the mere thought of it. My hands instinctively went to my stomach and I thought an apology to the potential boy/s in my stomach.

"You'll be great no matter what." Angela said with a proud smile on her face.

"I hope so." I said quietly, smiling down at my growing stomach. Angela placed a reassuring hand over one of my own and the moment got far too intimate far too quickly. "I have to get to work." I said shyly, leaning across to kiss her cheek before leaving the house.

My whole body shivered when I left the house. I hated Boston winters. There was a light layer of frost starting to rest on my cars windscreen and the wind was so cold it hurt to take deep breaths. _I shouldn't have worn heels today_.

I made it half way down the driveway before I slipped.

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I knew exactly how Jane was going to react when I told her about my little fall this morning, and for the best part of the day I debated not telling her at all. I knew I'd regret it if, god forbid, something did go wrong because of the fall.

"Something happened on my way to work…" I started quietly, biting down on my bottom lip as I looked across at Jane who was sitting at her desk. Her eyes shifted from her computer to my face as soon as the words left my mouth. I looked at Frost whose desk was directly positioned in front of Janes. His eyes never left his computer.

"Are you okay?" She asked, looking me up and down in the most discrete manner she could.

"I slipped on the driveway this morning." I admitted, her eyes widening as they moved down to my stomach. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. "I landed on my knees and hands, Jane. I did scuff my shoes though" I assured her with a pout, reaching out and placing a hand over hers.

"Stop _wearing_ those god damn shoes, Maura." She said with a frown as I showed her the scuffed front of one of my favourite pairs of heels. "So everything is…"

"I'm going to go to the doctor just to be sure, but yes, everything should be perfectly fine." I could tell that she wasn't buying anything I was feeding her. I sighed and turned to Frost. "Do you mind if Jane…"

"Take her with you." He said without letting me finish my sentence, smiling at me apologetically as I realised he had listened to our conversation.

The drive to the doctor's office was silent. Janes knuckles had started to turn white from how hard she was holding onto the steering wheel. I couldn't tell if she was mad or just worried. I was more than convinced nothing was going to be wrong, and no matter how many times I tried to assure her going to the doctors was just a formality, I could not help her shake her panic.

"You need to stop worrying." I told her, feeling tears start to burn behind my eyes. No, this was not the time for crazy pregnancy hormones to interfere and make me seem like an emotional mess.

"I'm allowed to worry about you." She said quietly, stretching her fingers. "I feel terrible." She added, and I opted to sit quietly and wait for her to continue. "I should have insisted on driving you today."

"Jane, I fell on the driveway. Even if you had driven me to work, I still could have slipped. My center of gravity is completely out of whack these days." I placed a hand reassuringly on her thigh. My free hand moved to the bottom of my bump as I tried to keep the signs of my slight pain from my face.

"What?" She asked, her eyes darting from the road to my stomach to my face. I rubbed her thigh softly, trying to keep her as calm as possible.

"My muscles and ligaments are just sore from expanding to make room for my uterus moving up." She scrunched her nose at my words.

"Your uterus is _moving?_" She asked, almost as though she doubted the information I was giving her.

"Yes, it moves out of my pelvis and up to just above my pelvic bone." I told her, pointing to the external parts of my body that match the anatomy.

"Okay now that is pretty neat." She said with a smile.

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"I landed on my knees and hands, but I thought we should come in anyway." The doctor nodded approvingly at my words as he continued writing down who knows what on a clipboard.

"Any bleeding?" He asked, looking up at me as he spoke, I hesitated dreading Janes reaction to what I was about to say.

"I had some spotting but that was this morning before I fell."

"You what?!" _Here it comes_. "You were bleeding and you didn't say anything?!" Jane hissed from beside me, pulling her hand out of mine so she could place her hands on her hips.

"I wasn't bleeding; I was spotting. There's a difference." I told her calmly, looking to my doctor for back up.

"She's right." The doctor added, looking up at Jane as he spoke. "Some spotting is perfectly normal, and considering it didn't happen after the fall, it's even more normal." He smiled as comfortingly as he could at Jane and a few moments later she sighed, taking my hand again.

"Women." I joked, Jane pursing her lips and fighting making a comment about my bad joke as the doctor started applying the now familiar conductive jelly to my stomach. I unintentionally gasped at how cold the liquid was, earning a slight smirk from Jane.

"It's always better to be safe than sorry." He smiled as he turned on the machine, moving all around my stomach until the familiar sound of fluttery heartbeats filled the room. "Both heartbeats sound really good." He assured us, Jane seeming to physically relax beside me.

"So they both look okay?" Jane asked, leaning over me to get a better view of the screen. I raised my eyebrows at her, pushing her out of the way so I could see the screen.

"You have two perfectly healthy babies." The doctor said with a warm smile.

"Hell yeah we do." Jane said, holding her fist up to my. I rolled my eyes but gave her a fist bump anyway. "Hey any chance you can tell us what's in there?" The doctor raised his eyebrows at her question.

"She wants to know if you can tell the sexes." I clarified for him, Jane nodding as I spoke. I knew what he was going to say, but I decided to play patient rather than doctor for once.

"No, you're still a little too early. At your eighteen week scan you'll hopefully be able to find out."

"Hopefully?" Jane asked with a frown, making me giggle quietly.

"Sometimes the babies cross their legs." I said with a shrug, noting the annoyance in Janes voice at potentially having to wait even longer before we could pick out paint colours.

"I want to know what colour to paint the nursery."

I knew this woman like the back of my hand.


	3. 16 Weeks

_The rest of the story will be written in Mauras POV unless otherwise stated!_

**16 Weeks**

"You cannot be serious." Jane complained, staring at me with a blank expression as I wheeled a wheelchair into the living room. I pretended not to notice Frankie chuckling in the corner of the living room.

"All of the books say that by this time in my pregnancy I need to be avoiding standing on my feet as much as possible." I told her, my face twisting in confusion as I tried to understand her reluctance to the wheelchair.

"Babe you are pregnant, not disabled." She said with an expression I could not read. Her eyes widened slightly and there was a subtle hint of a smile playing at the corners of her stupidly perfect lips.

"Jane I have **two** sixteen week old babies inside of me." I started, taking a deep breath as I pulled my blazer off, sweat starting to bead on my forehead. "The more energy I exert, the more blood that stops flowing to the babies and starts flowing to my muscles. Do you know what that means?" I asked her, placing both my hands on my hips.

"We'll have really pale babies?" I heard Frankie laugh louder now, and it was impossible to stop myself from turning to glare at him until he went back to being quiet. It was amazing what being pregnant made possible. I had started to notice that I could silence anyone with a mere look. It was strangely empowering.

"Preterm contractions and labour, that's what it means." I said, ignoring her blatant attempt at a joke. She held her hands up in front of me in surrender. She knew she wasn't winning this battle.

"Do you really think you'll need a wheelchair though, Maura?" She asked, looking down at the black wheelchair in front of me with disgust. I groaned loudly, pushing it away from me.

"You're right; forget it. You and your mother go." I huffed; annoyed that she wasn't giving me anything to work with. She wasn't the one who had to sit in the ugly thing. I moved to sit beside Frankie on the sofa. He shifted awkwardly before standing up and moving into the kitchen and I momentarily felt bad for being so moody around him. Jane knelt down in front of me, placing her hands on both my knees.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly, smiling apologetically as she rubbed my legs softly.

"I am so frustrated." I complained, pouting as I threw my arms down on either side of me. My stomach had really popped in the past two weeks, and everything felt like a huge effort. I found myself pulling a chair up to the dishwasher while I was loading it. It had even gotten so bad I couldn't stand through an autopsy. "This isn't easy." I told her, gesturing to my stomach that was six weeks larger than it would be if there was only one baby in there.

"And I'm not helping you." She added, earning a slow nod from me. "Okay, come on." She said, standing and holding her hands out to me. I let her pull me up off the sofa and I frowned as my feet started to ache almost immediately.

"This whole two babies thing sucks so far." I told her, earning a quiet laugh as I hair away from my face. I took a deep breath and remembered what it was we were doing today and a shot of excitement jolted through me. "Go get your mother and my mother." I told Frankie, who did as I said the second I said it.

"Should I put this in the car?" Jane asked reluctantly, placing her hands on the wheelchair sitting in the middle of the room. It was only then did I realise how ridiculous I was being.

"Did we just argue over a wheelchair?" I asked, frowning as I tried to comprehend why I had reacted so strongly to Janes objections. She pursed her lips and without saying a word, wheeled the wheelchair away. "I'm sorry. I just... After all we went through to get them safely…"

"I know." She hushed me, holding my face in her hands as she spoke. "You just want them to be safe, no one can fault you for that. But I don't think walking to pick out cribs will hurt them."

It had taken us so much to get here. It had taken so much money I tried to forget, it had taken an inhuman amount of strength and an incredible amount of love to get these babies where they are now. As silly as I felt for being so overly cautious, maybe the whole _mothers instinct _thing had some merit to it.

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"Do you know if they're identical?" Angela asked curiously, her arm intertwined with Janes who had a hand resting on my lower back. Jane frowned lightly as we made our way from the car to the first furniture store.

"What else would they be?" Jane asked curiously. I tried my best to stifle the giggle that was rising in my chest, but the second I heard my mother laugh from beside me I lost it. Jane looked at me with a frown.

"We could have fraternal twins." I reminded her, leaning across to press my lips to her cheek when she closed her eyes, shaking her head in embarrassment. "The doctor can usually tell with a sonogram." I started, directing my attention to Angela as I spoke this time. "Identical twins tend to share the same placenta."

"Interesting." Angela said as we walked into the store, my heart seeming to automatically settle on the first crib I laid my eyes on.

"Do you want to find out?" My mother asked, running her hand along the length of a beautiful mahogany crib.

"There are more risks with identical twins when it comes to giving birth, so if anything I would like to know merely so we, and the doctor, can prepare." I made a point to look around and make sure Jane was still close by. Taking her anywhere with cute baby clothes and toys meant always running the risk of losing her. Thankfully today she was seeming to keep her focus.

"Do you they make cribs for twins?" Jane quizzed, standing in one spot and looking around the large showroom, trying to find the answer to her question.

"Why? Do you plan on keeping them both in the same room?" My mother asked with a slight expression of confusion and worry on her face. I bit down on my bottom lip and realised Jane and I probably had far more important things to be talking about than paint colours.

"Why would we separate them?" Jane asked with raised eyebrows, looking at me now.

"Well, what if one wakes up in the middle of the night and wakes up the other?" I questioned, realising why my mother had asked at all. Jane pursed her lips, frowning slightly as she tried to come up with an answer.

"Then we both get up." She said, gesturing between the two of us. "I don't want them to sleep in different rooms." She added, leaning closer to me so the words were shared only between the two of us.

"Worst case scenario we can just move one of the cribs." I realised, noting that there was no real issue here at all. I had to admire how well we had just worked that out considering neither of us had thought to think of it until today.

"Let me buy this for you." My mother chimed in suddenly, her hands still resting on the mahogany crib I had first seen when we came into the store. My eyes drifted up to the price tag and I felt my stomach drop. I started shaking my head, placing a hand over the top of my mothers.

"It's too expensive, and we need _two,_ mother. I cannot ask you to…"

"I'll get the second one." Angela chimed in suddenly, catching us all off guard. "I needed to get you a baby shower present anyway." She shrugged, her eyes widening slightly when she noted the price tag.

"We really don't need designer cribs." Jane said nervously, not knowing how to accept the gift from both our parents without seeming rude. I nodded in agreement, turning back to look at my mother who had a frown on her face.

"You're saying no to my gift?" She said, and I atomically mirrored her frown, knowing exactly what she was trying to do.

"We accept it." Jane said before I had the chance to stop her. My mother smiled smugly at me, lifting a hand to gesture to one of the women at the store that we were ready. "What else did you want to get today?" Jane asked as my eyes scanned the room for a seat.

"I want to get as much out of the way in one trip as we can." I told her as I took a seat in an old fashioned rocking chair. My lower back started to ache like I had never felt it ache before. I took a few slow, deep breaths before I spoke again. "Right now though I think I need to lay down." Jane smiled down at me sympathetically; placing her hands on the arm rests of the chair before she leant down and pressed her lips softly to mine.

"Let's get you three home." She whispered, pressing one more soft kiss to my lips before she helped me stand.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

"I've been thinking…" I started, biting down on my bottom lip nervously as we sat on the sofa eating an incredibly healthy, delicious dinner Angela had prepared for us earlier.

"What's new?" Jane smirked, her eyes never leaving the baseball game on the television. I chose, as usual, to ignore her sarcastic comment. I sat in silence for a few moments, knowing she wasn't going to agree with what I was about to suggest.

"I don't want to know the sexes." Her head snapped in my direction, a frown on her face instantly. She placed the glass of wine that was in her hands on the coffee table and turned her whole body to face me, turning the TV off without breaking eye contact with me.

"Are you insane?" She asked, taking both my hands in hers as she spoke.

"Don't you want the surprise when they're born?" I said, dodging her condescending question as I took one of my hands out of hers so I could continue eating the kale that was sitting on the plate in my lap.

"I want to paint the nursery and buy sweet outfits and brag to people that I'm having a son and a daughter, or two daughters, or two sons." She rambled, her frown still deep on her face as she continued. "I want to know." Her voice was quieter, more serious when she spoke now.

"This really means something to you." I said, noticing only for the first time just how into this whole thing Jane was. She rolled her eyes playfully, moving back to where she was sitting and picking her wine glass up. "We'll find out, I promise."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

You are all amazing! Thank you for all the lovely reviews and even more lovely messages! I've had a few people complain that they don't think that I'm being factual when I speak of certain aspects of pregnancy.

I assure you, I have two different webpages open with week by week break downs of twin pregnancies to ensure I'm not giving you false information.

Enjoy!


	4. 18 Weeks

**18 Weeks**

"Does this usually take this long?" Jane complained from beside me quietly, her hand no longer resting on any part of my body as she slumped back in her chair. We had been in the ultrasound room for an hour and were yet to get any information. I had tried to explain to her before we came that this was going to be a long appointment, but none the less I was prepared for some complaints.

"We're taking pictures of all your babies' organs and limbs, just making sure everything is exactly how it should be." The technician said to Jane, whose eyes widened in embarrassment at the fact her complaint had been overheard.

"Can you tell if they're identical?" I asked her, trying to decipher what I was seeing on the screen. For the first time in my life I wasn't sure of something and it was unnerving.

"It looks like they're not sharing a placenta, which usually suggests they're fraternal. Though there's still a chance of them being identical, I'm confident in saying they won't be." Thank god. At least I know I will never have that awkward moment where I call one of my children by their wrong name.

"Did you want to find out the sexes?" The woman asked politely, smiling down at me as she spoke. Janes hand suddenly grabbed onto mine, squeezing tightly. The woman laughed quietly at her action. Jane nodded, leaning forward to look at the screen. "We usually leave this until the end, but I can tell you're getting antsy."

We waited while she searched around my stomach, trying to find the right angle to get a good picture. During my research I had found that a lot of the time they weren't able to tell the sex of both babies due to positioning. I was praying that wouldn't be an issue for us.

"Here's baby A." She said, pointing to the baby on the screen. I heard Jane let out a quiet sigh as we took in the image of our first baby. "You've got yourself a little girl." She said, smiling across at us, writing it down on the clipboard as she spoke.

"Oh, holy shit." Jane said, slumping back in her chair, her hand still holding tightly onto my own. My heart was racing. A little girl. A baby girl. I was going to have a baby girl. My mind immediately flashed to ballet classes and painted finger nails. My palms started to sweat.

"Look like you're getting the best of both worlds." The woman added, pointing to our second baby on the screen. "A little boy."

"A boy?" Jane asked, leaning forward and looking over my stomach at the screen frowned, the whole room seeming to get painfully quiet as we both stared at the screen.

"Jane, are you…" I pursed my lips as I noted tears spilling down her cheeks. The technician silently left the room, giving us a moment of privacy. It was at that exact moment, sitting looking at our babies that I saw my wife turn into a mother.

"I love you." She said through tears, shaking her head at herself as she desperately tried to wipe tears away before the fell from her eyes. I fell even more in love with her in that moment than I ever knew possible.

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The fourth of July was never something my family celebrated. I had always seen fireworks and parties on the television of course, but to us, it was just another day. That all changed the moment I became a Rizzoli. The first time I celebrated the holiday with them I woke up the next morning with clothes on that did not belong to me. Thankfully, this year we were having the celebrations at our house.

To say a lot had changed in the past two years was an understatement. Two years ago we were out drinking every other night after work, now everyone opts to go home to wives, husbands and children instead. This year we had decided a BBQ, our family and the fireworks were all we needed.

"Are you sure you're feeling up to this?" Jane asked curiously as she handed me a bottle of cold water. I rolled my eyes at her as I took the cap off, secretly loving how over protective she had become in the past 18 weeks.

"I'm pregnant, not disabled." I reminded her, throwing the words she used on me two weeks ago back at her. She smirked, and I knew she was proud of my quick come back. I was starting to really enjoy this whole pregnant with two babies thing. Anytime I tried to help do _anything _either Angela, my mother, or Jane would take the task away from me and order me to sit back down. I could get used to this.

"Do you realise this is our last fourth of July just the two of us?" She said, stopping what she was doing, her face going blank as the realisation of her own words washed over her.

"Are you okay?" I asked with a giggle, reaching for her hand, pressing a light kiss to the back of her head reassuringly. She sighed, smiling affectionately at me before she went to greet her brothers.

I had prepared my body for tonight. I had bought a maternity support belt to help relieve some of the pressure on my pelvis. I hated it; it was bulky and visible under just about anything I wore. I had decided to go with a maxi dress, something I never thought I would ever catch myself dead in. Pregnancy really had meant sacrificing my sense of style. I missed my tight dresses.

"Any back pain yet?" Lydia asked, her hand smoothing over TJs hair as he sat quietly in her lap. I placed both my hands over my stomach, something I had realised I instinctively do anytime anyone asks anything about the baby, and shook my head.

"I'm finding myself hungry _all _the time." I told her, reaching for one of the strawberries I knew Jane had bought out just for me. I couldn't imagine any of the Rizzoli's choosing a strawberry over chips.

"What are you doing about names?" Lydia asked curiously, resting her chin on her little boys head. I raised my eyebrows, waiting for her to continue. "Like are you going to be the mommy?"

"Oh. We actually haven't discussed that yet." I frowned. Were Jane and I not talking about the right things? We were so busy planning everything to make sure we were physically ready when the babies came. Maybe we weren't as prepared as we though.

"You okay?" Jane asked with raised eyebrows, sitting down beside me and shooting a sutble look in Lydias direction. I knew what she was really asking me.

"Do you want to be mommy?" I asked her, placing a hand on her thigh as I spoke. She frowned, watching her brother's wrestle on the grass by the BBQ. "Well what do you want them to call you?"

"I always pictured you being the mommy." She said with a shrug, turning to press a gentle kiss to my lips. I felt one of the babies start moving around inside of me, and more than ever I wished Jane were able to feel what I was feeling. I took her hand in mine, pressing it down hard where I was feeling the flutters. "I wish I could feel it too." She said quietly, smiling empathetically at me as she spoke.

"Only a few more weeks and you will be able to." I assured her, squeezing her hand that was resting on my thigh gently. "Have you noticed all anyone talks to me about anymore is being pregnant?" I said, just realising it as I said it aloud.

"Have you thought about when you're going to stop working?" Jane asked, completely ignoring the sentiment behind what I had just said to her.

"My body will tell me when it's time." I said with a light shrug, honestly dreading being housebound for the last part of my pregnancy. All I did at work was sit and write notes and… Cut open dead bodies. Surely that can't be dangerous for a pregnant woman?

"We have some news." Jane announced loudly, standing up and helping me follow suit. I wrapped an arm around her waist, one of the babies rolling around in my stomach making me feel as though butterflies were swimming inside me.

"Baby A…" I started, placing my hand on one side of my stomach to differentiate between the two babies. "Is a baby girl." Angela didn't wait for us to reveal what the second baby was before her arms were thrown around both of our shoulders. It didn't end there, every one of our relatives moving to congratulate us.

Then without warning, everyone seemed to go back to what they were doing.

"Don't you want to know what baby B is?" Jane asked with a frown, everyone seeming to completely forget that we were having _two _babies. "It's a boy." Jane said proudly, placing her hand on the other side of my stomach protectively.

"What are we calling them?" Cailin asked curiously, pushing Jane out of the way playfully so she could place her hands on either side of my stomach. "Oh! What about Renee?"

"No." Jane interjected quickly, scrunching her nose at my sisters suggestion.

"Tracey?"

"No." I objected, chosing to sit down in anticipation of how long this conversation was about to be.

"Mary?"

"No."

"Hannah?"

"No."

"Why isn't anyone offering a boys name?" I asked, realising every name being thrown at us were girls names.

"Jed?"

"No."

"Jake?"

"No."

"Adam?"

"No."

"_That's_ why." Tommy said with a laugh, pushing his sister as she continued saying no to every name our family suggested.

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	5. 22 Weeks

**22 Weeks**

After reading more than one book about multiple pregnancies; I had slowly begun to accept the fact that standing on my feet wasn't going to be easy in the upcoming weeks. I had made Jane bring in a chair for me to use while I was doing autopsies and every fourty minutes she would call me and remind me to take a break and move my muscles. She was becoming the perfect partner during this pregnancy. I had never seen her so attentive, so aware or so concerned.

I was painfully aware of how much harder life was about to get. 22 weeks was a good time, I wasn't so big that I couldn't do things, but I was big enough that my back and feet were starting to hurt if I moved around too much.

Just as I was about to start my first autopsy of the day, one of the babies decided it was time to flutter around in my stomach. I pulled the blade away from the skin in front of me, sighing as I looked down with a disapproving frown, wondering if the babies were deliberately waiting until I was about to cut before they moved around.

"I appreciate you letting me know you're awake, but mommy _really_ needs to focus." I was staring down at my bump, scalpel in hand as I tried to focus on the task in front of me; though having two babies rolling around in your stomach makes focusing a tad difficult. I sighed, leaning forward from my stool to continue what I was doing when I felt a movement inside me strong than any I had ever felt before.

I put the scalpel down, both my gloved hands moving to rest on my stomach, my eyes wide and my heart racing as I waited for what I knew I was about to feel. Then, without any hint of a warning, I felt a soft bump against one of my hands. My first instinct was to call Jane, to scream her name until she was here to feel what I was feeling; but I couldn't move. I was completely entranced by what was going on inside and now outside of me.

"Hi my little girl." I whispered, pulling my scrub shirt up and over my stomach, removing my gloves before I placed my hands back where the bump had just pushed against my hand. I remembered the sonographer telling us at the end of our last appointment that baby B (boy) was facing toward my back so I would rarely, if ever, feel him kick. "Hi baby girl." I whispered, barely audible as I waited for it to happen again. When fifteen minutes passed without another kick, I called Jane down.

"Did you find anything?" She asked, looking down in confusion at the uncut body on the autopsy table. I smiled across at her, waiting for her to look up at me. "You're smiling…" She pointed out suspiciously, her eyes tightening on my face.

"One of the babies kicked."

"What?! And I missed it?!" Jane exclaimed, moving across to where I stood, pulling my shirt back up over my belly and placing her hands all over it. I placed her hand where I had felt the kick and the room suddenly got so quiet I could hear my own heart beating in my chest.

"Honey, it happened once; it'll happen again." I reminded her when nothing had happened after five minutes. She sighed, leaning back and letting my scrubs fall back over my stomach.

"What were you doing when it happened? What triggered it?" She asked, leading me to the comfort of the sofa I had in my office. She kept one hand on my stomach when we sat down; just in case.

"I was just about to do the Y incision and she kept moving around and then out of nowhere… She kicked." Jane beamed excitedly at my vague break down of what had happened.

"We've got a little future doctor on our hands I think." She said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my stretched out abdomen.

"Jane I don't think the time when she first kicked will hold any bearing on what she becomes in later life." I told her, earning a chuckle from my beautiful wife.

"Please, she waited until you were about to do an autopsy; we're having a little genius." Jane said, holding her hand up to me, waiting for a high five. I rolled my eyes at her, cupping her face in my hands as I pulled her in and kissed her beautiful face.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

After taking twice as long as I usually would to do the autopsy today, I had never been so excited for my couch, my wife, and a tub of mint and mocha frozen yogurt. Jane had caught a case earlier in the day, and I was hoping to no end that she would be home sometime tonight. To my surprise, she beat me home.

"Hi lover." She said with a smirk when I walked through the front door, Chinese food and frozen yogurt in my hands. She took the two paper bags out of my hands, placing them on the counter before her arms moved to wrap around my middle, pulling me as close as the bump in my abdomen would let her. "I missed you three today." She whispered, rubbing her nose gently against mine.

"You saw us twice today." I reminded her with an affectionate smile, holding her face in my hand as I pressed my lips against hers. I licked my lips, tasting the beer that lingered on her lips. "But we missed you too." I added, sighing contently as I slumped forward in her arms.

"Sit down baby." She whispered, softly rubbing my back until I let her go and moved to the sofa. She joined me two minutes later, handing me a plate with more food on it than I was ever going to be able to eat.

An hour later we were cuddled up in our bed, Jane distracted by a baseball game on the television I had argued was unnecessary in a bedroom. I was aware of too many studies that showed the detriment to your sleep a television in the bedroom can cause.

"I was doing some studies today and I think you should talk to the babies." Jane raised her eyebrows, looking down at my stomach. "A lot of couples find that the baby kicks more when the belly is being touched or spoken to by their spouse."

I thought I was really going to have to convince Jane that it was a good idea, but within seconds she was laying on her stomach, her mouth inches from my stomach. She placed one of her hands under her chin and the other on my stomach. I leant back to give her better access, picking up a magazine and trying to act as casual about what was happening as possible. Janes shifting eyes told me she was embarrassed before she had even begun.

"Baby girl." I told her, pointing to where I had felt the kicking earlier in the day. "And I think baby boy is over here." I added, frowning at having to guess where one of my children were; even if it was inside of me.

"So I'm just warning you; this feels ridiculous." Jane started quietly. I glued my eyes to the page in front of me, not taking anything in as I intently listened to her talk. "But your mommy seems to think this might work, and I'll do anything for either of you, so here I am." Jane chuckled awkwardly, her thumb stroking my skin lightly. "Can you hear me baby?" Seconds later, I felt that familiar kick I had felt earlier in the day. Jane shot up, both her hands going to the place where she had just felt the movement.

I put the magazine down, no longer interested in giving Jane any sort of privacy. I placed my hands over hers, waiting for Jane to continue talking.

"We're so excited to meet you sweetheart." Another light kick pushed Janes hand into mine. She looked up at me with a look on her face I had only ever seen one another time in our relationship; on our wedding day. "Is mommy taking good care of you?" Jane asked, placing her forehead against our hands. Another kick. Jane chuckled, leaning forward to kiss any skin on my stomach her lips could reach.

"What colour should we paint the nursery?" I mused, watching Jane continue to swoon over my stomach. She pursed her lips, leaning her head against my stomach as she considered the options my question gave her. "People tend to use yellow as a gender neutral colour, don't they?"

"I was thinking we could stick with the _earthy _tones that are already in there and then just decorate each of the babies things with certain colours if you're into all that." She shrugged, and I knew she was making fun of me with her earthly tones comment.

"I was thinking we could keep the light brown walls and then do like a feature wall with their names on it." I suggested, trying to get a good mental image of what I was describing. Who would have thought trying to decide what colour to paint their room was going to be so hard?

"I think we need to pick names first." She said, chuckling as she went back to paying my stomach attention until we were ready to fall asleep.

I could only imagine how we would look to an outsider; Sitting in our king size bed, giggling and talking over my pregnant stomach. We were a walking cliché; and nothing could have ever made me happier.

I cannot recall another moment in time that I had ever been as tired as I had been this week. Getting comfortable in bed was fast becoming an impossible task. It took multiple pillows placed strategically in places to help relieve the pressure from my growing abdomen and even then; sometimes that didn't work.

It had taken Jane all of four nights before she opted for sleeping in the guest room. I didn't blame her, more often than not I ended up in the middle of the bed with pillows and blankets spread all around me. Honestly, so long as I was comfortable and able to sleep, she could have been sleeping on the sofa for all I cared.

"God _damn_ it!" I exclaimed, feeling Jane jump beside me in the bed. I had asked her to sleep in the bed with me tonight. The day had been far too sentimental for me fall asleep alone; but the longer I tried to get comfortable with her in the bed; the more I was regretting asking her to stay.

"What can I do?" She asked, turning the lamp on her side of the bed on. Her hair was a mess and her under eyes were dark enough to tell me she was exhausted. I sat up, sighing as I ran a hand through my long honey blonde hair.

"Get them out." I begged, looking down at the growing bump in my stomach. She smiled across at me sympathetically, softly nudging my shoulders until I lay back down on my right side.

"Roll over, the books says you should lay on your left side." Jane whispered, sliding a pillow between my legs as she spoke. I pursed my lips, trying to fight a smile at the fact that she had read the baby book without me knowing. "Here." She said quietly, kissing my shoulder blade as she placed another pillow at the bottom of my bump, lifting it slightly off the bed. I felt the pressure taken off my back instantly.

"I love you." I told her, stretching my neck backwards. She was upside down, but she was perfect. She smiled down at me, leaning down to press a kiss to my lips before she rolled back to her own side of the bed; giving me the space she knew I needed.


	6. 26 Weeks

**26 Weeks**

I had been happily cruising through my pregnancy. We were past the stage of being worried about another potential miscarriage, Jane and I had become significantly closer and I was really starting to enjoy my pregnancy. Naturally, this is the time when things start to go wrong.

I woke to a dull pain in my upper back. I took three deep breaths and closed my eyes, waiting for it to pass. I busied my thoughts with thoughts of onesies, bottles and diapers. When the pain started to radiate down into my upper abdominal area, a familiar thought and feeling popped into my head. I sat up, staring down at my stomach. _We cannot go through this again _was all I could think as I turned to face my sleeping wife.

"Jane…" I tried to keep my voice as quiet and calm as I possibly could as I softly shook my wife's shoulder, desperately waiting for her to open her eyes. I felt tears starting to burn behind my eyes. "Jane." I was more forceful now, shaking her hard. She didn't say anything as she rolled over, her eyes wide when they met mine which I could only imagine were wide in panic.

"Baby…" She started, sitting up and leaning toward me, softly rubbing my forearm until I was ready to explain my current state. Her breathing started to accelerate and I could tell the worst possible scenarios were running through her head as much as they were mine. I didn't say anything, to focused on waiting for the pain to pass.

"I'm… Pain. I shook my head; trying to differentiate this pain to pain I had felt in previous unsuccessful pregnancies. She took a deep breath, standing and moving to my side of the bed, kneeling in front of me before she spoke.

"Okay, are you bleeding?" She asked in a calm voice, though her wide eyes and shaking hands told a different story.

"I don't know, I'm too scared… I haven't looked." She nodded slowly at my words, slowly grabbing a pair of pants that were on the chair in the corner of the room, pulling them over her thin legs before she walked back over to me.

"Can you stand?" She asked nervously, holding her hands out to me in an effort to help me off the bed. I nodded slowly, taking her hands and letting her pull me off the mattress. "There's no blood, but let's get you to the hospital just in case."

"I can't do this again." I told her, a panic attack making its way up into my chest as more and more memories and negative feelings manifested. She took another deep breath, taking both my hands in hers, looking me straight in the eye before she spoke.

"I promise you're going to be okay."

I had never noticed the differences between _you're going to be okay _and _everything is going to be okay _before tonight.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

We sat in silence in the exam room, neither of us having any idea what the appropriate thing to say in the situation was. I closed my eyes as the pain got more intense, frowning as I felt Janes hand squeeze mine softly in support.

"Shouldn't someone be looking at you like… now?" Jane asked, just as a doctor walked into the room, smiling sympathetically at me as he sat down beside me. I had seen that smile before, and it made me feel sick.

"Let's see what's going on in there." He said with the most reassuring voice he could. Within minutes the familiar sound of two babies heartbeats filled the room. I looked at the screen, seeing both babies safe in their place and a violent sob escaped my chest.

"Oh thank god." I sobbed, placing one of my hands over my face as I tried to comprehend that they were right where we left them. The doctor chuckled lightly, patting my hand in understanding.

"Baby B is looking a little small." He said suddenly, my hand shooting away from my face as I looked at the screen. He looked exactly like his sister. Whatever the doctor was seeing; I wasn't. They looked perfect to me.

"But why is she in pain?" Jane asked, bringing us both back to the real reason we were at the hospital in the first place. The doctor moved the ultrasound further up my stomach, losing sight of the babies on the screen.

"Kidney stones." He pointed out, nodding toward the screen. "We'll keep you in tonight and set you up with an IV. The hope is that you'll pass them naturally, but if that hasn't happened in the next 24 hours we'll talk about other options." He said with an apologetic smile as he moved to turn the ultrasound machine off.

"Why do you think he's small?" I asked, placing my hand over the place we usually saw baby B on the ultrasounds.

"It's common for one of the babies in a multiple pregnancy to be a bit on the small side. We'll keep monitoring him and hopefully we won't need to intervene." He said with a cheery voice, wiping the conductive jelly off my stomach and holding out a hand to help me sit up comfortably.

"What if you do need to intervene?" Jane asked, bringing her fingers to her mouth, starting to chew on her nails nervously.

"Do you have a birth plan?" The doctor asked, looking at me when he spoke.

"No, not yet." I admitted, slightly embarrassed to be called out on yet another thing we were yet to attend to. I remembered one of my friends from medical school going on to become a paediatric doctor, and made a mental note to look her up and see if she was still local.

"Just bring it up with your doctor and they'll talk you through all your potential options." He said with a smile before he got up and left Jane and I sitting wondering what he meant.

"What did that mean?" I asked, frowning as I stared at the closed door.

"You're the doctor, you tell me." She teased, placing a light kiss to the top of my head as another shot of pain ran through my kidneys.

15 hours later, two doses of pain relief and an IV later and I had successfully passed the kidney stones without needing intervention. This time, I was happy to high five my wife.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Okay, remind me again, who is this chick?" Jane asked me curiously as we walked into the unfamiliar doctor's office. I rolled my eyes at her choice of words, an action I had never really done before I met her. She had rubbed off on me more than I cared to admit.

"Her name is Julia Williams. We went to medical school together." I reminded Jane, who nodded slowly as I spoke, a slight smirk making it's way onto her lips.

"Julia Williams; that does sound like someone you would know." She laughed, her joke completely surpassing me as I tried to understand why it was amusing her.

"Why?" I asked outright, my head tilting to the left as I waited for her response.

"She sounds fancy." Jane said with a shrug, her smile fading as I ruined her joke. She'd always told me that if someone else told a joke I didn't understand and everyone else around laughed, that I should just laugh and ask her about it later. Sadly, this meant whenever she told a joke I didn't understand, I didn't bother pretending to find it funny.

"How can someone sound fancy?" I asked, still completely bewildered. She shook her head, a small smile making its way back onto her lips as she opened the office door for me. "Did you read the chapters on birth plans?" I whispered as we were guided straight into an office.

"I did one better than that." Jane said with a proud smile, pulling folded pieces of paper out of her back pocket. Not only had she read the chapters, she had bought print outs of all of the things we are supposed to ask our doctor. "You've got pregnancy brain; I knew you'd forget something." She said with a shrug, clearly not understanding how much her small gesture meant to me.

"Maura?" A familiar voice came from behind me, causing both Jane and I turn our attention to the dark haired woman.

"Julia." I said with the most warmth in my voice I could. We were never close in medical school, but if she was going to be the one delivering my babies, I wanted her to think I thought of her with nothing but good thoughts.

"How are you?" She asked politely, wrapping her arms around my shoulders softly, kissing each of my cheeks once before she pulled back and looked at Jane with a small smile.

"Really well." I pointed out, both my hands moving to rest on my ever growing abdomen. Julia's hands went straight to my stomach, catching me off guard. I was used to people asking before they touched me, even doctors.

"Twins, wow you're brave." She joked, causing a frown to break out on my face. Janes forced laughter from beside me told me it was okay to laugh, and I forced a smile.

"This is my wife, Jane. Jane, this is Julia." They shook hands politely before we sat back down at her desk, Jane discretely handing me all the questions we had to ask.

"So, have you thought through your options?" Julia asked, opening my file in front of her and quickly scanning over my information. Jane looked at me, I was clearly going to be heading the conversation here.

"I want to do whatever is safest, which in my case will probably be a scheduled C-section; which I read on your website you're very experienced in." She nodded as I spoke, jotting it all down on some official form.

"And you want to stay awake for the procedure?"

"Absolutely." I nodded, knowing there was no way I was going to be okay with falling asleep and waking back up after it was all over. I wanted to experience every second of it. "I want a mirror, too. I heard you can have a mirror?" Jane tilted her head to the right as I spoke.

"Some women like to have a mirror above the procedure so they can watch it happen." Jane frowned, scrunching up her nose as she turned to look at me, raising her eyebrows.

"Jane I cut open dead bodies every day." I reminded her with a sweet smile

"Yeah but this will be _you _getting cut open, Maura." She reminded me softly, placing her hand on my thigh under the table. "So long as I don't have to see it and you're comfortable though…"

"I want the mirror." I said, turning to look back at Julia who looked between us awkwardly before nodding, writing it down. I looked through the list in my hands, trying to pinpoint which things mattered to me the most. "I want an epidural for the pain, no questions asked on the day; I want it. And I want my mother and Janes mother in the room." Julia pursed her lips, putting her pen down before she looked up at me.

"It can get pretty intense in there. We only suggest you bring one another person in apart from your partner." She told me with apologetic eyes. She wasn't telling me it was a suggestion, it was my only option. I turned to look at Jane, panicking as I tried to decide which parent I was supposed to take in with me.

If I took my mother, not only would it break Angela's heart, but I know Jane would feel tense. If I choose Angela… I wouldn't have _my_ mother there.

"Will your mom even be in the country?" Jane asked quietly, voicing her opinion to me in the best way she knew how to. I nodded, sighing as I realised what the inevitable decision was going to be either way.

"Angela Rizzoli will be coming in too. That means when they take one or both of the babies to the NICU, you go with them and she stays with me." Jane nodded in understanding, knowing that arguing the point with me would literally get her nowhere.

"Have you talked about circumcision?" She asked simply.

"We're doing it." I said without a second thought, earning raised eyebrows from my wife.

"Excuse me?" Jane asked, a slight edge to her voice when she spoke. "No." She added, turning to Julia when she spoke now. I frowned at her, turning in my seat to face her properly.

"No?" I asked, completely bewildered by her sudden outburst. She frowned right back at me, sitting up straight in her chair, her eyes darting between Julia and I as if she were trying to decide if this was a fight she wanted to have in front of someone.

"I can't believe you said we're doing it without even discussing it with me." She said in a hushed voice, her tone thick with annoyance as she spoke.

"I thought it was a given that we would do it. It lowers the risk of him getting a UTI, it's easier to clean and it reduces his likelihood of him getting cancer in his penis."

"And I thought it was a given that we would not put our son through a surgery that he doesn't need. And I read those studies you left on your laptop. There's only like a 1% chance he'll get a UTI anyway." I was surprised at how strong of an opinion Jane seemed to have on the subject.

"What do you think?" I asked, turning to look at Julia who awkwardly looked back at me with raised eyebrows that begged me not to get her involved.

"No, this is between you and I." Jane snapped, catching me completely off guard. "I am not okay with this." She added, her voice getting quiet as she nodded toward the form sitting on Julia's desk.

"Then we won't do it." I told her, smiling apologetically. We really did need to start talking about things _before _doctors appointments.

"So no to circumcision?" Julia asked hesitantly.

"No to circumcision." I concluded, squeezing Janes hand under the table lightly.

"Have you thought about if you want to record or have photos taken in the operating room?" She asked, both Jane and I looking at each other with pursed lips. Jane shook her head, nodding toward me.

"You'll be the one in the vulnerable position; this one is totally up to you." I thought about it, thought about how terrible I could potentially look, but how little I would care about that looking back at the photos when our children were five, ten, fifteen years old.

"Yes to camera." I said with a smile, starting to get really excited about the fact that this was all really happening.

"Okay, it says here baby B was looking a bit small at your last ultrasound, so I'm just going to have a little look and we'll talk about your induction date after that." Julia said with a smile, standing and directing us to a door that led straight into an exam room.

As usual, the conductive jelly was cold and caused a quiet gasp to escape my lips.

"What have you been doing with yourself?" Julia asked me casually as she moved around my stomach, trying to locate each of the babies.

"I'm the Chief Medical Examiner." I told her proudly, looking at Jane with a smile. It was pointless; all of her attention was on the black and white screen next to me.

"Okay baby B is looking a bit small." Julia said suddenly, her lips pursed as she pulled a cursor all over his body, taking all sorts of measurements. The longer she went without saying anything, the worst I felt.

"What does that mean?" Jane finally asked, both of us not able to take the silence any longer. Julia smiled the most reassuring smile she could before she turned to look at us both.

"We might have to get you in at 36 weeks rather than the usual 38 if he doesn't start to catch up, but we'll bring you in every two weeks for a check-up." She said; her voice too cheery for what she was telling us.

"Doesn't 36 weeks class as pre-term though?" I asked, frowning at the thought of one, or both, of our babies needing to be in the NICU and away from us. Janes hand tightened in mine slightly at my question.

"It might not even come to that, Maura." Julia said softly, placing a gentle hand on my forearm. "But you really need to start resting from here in out. Which means no more work." She said, laughing sympathetically when I groaned, letting my head fall back against the chair I was laying in.

"Is baby A okay?" Jane asked, smiling down at me as she spoke. Julia nodded, bringing a picture of our little girl back up on the screen and pointing to her head.

"She's almost at the weight she should be in a singular birth, she's perfect."

At least there was some good news.


	7. 28 Weeks

**28 Weeks**

"Shouldn't we just pay someone to do this for us?" I asked, bouncing lightly on a blue exercise ball as I looked down at Jane, sitting in a mess of crib parts and instructions. She was frowning at the piece of paper in her hand, holding up a long piece of mahogany in her other hand as she tried to decipher what exactly she was looking at. There was nothing about this that suggested it was going to end well. We didn't exactly have the best track record when it came to putting together beds of any sort.

"Okay why? _Why _do they make this so hard?" Jane complained, throwing her head back as both her hands dropped to rest in her lap in frustration. I pursed my lips, trying to hold in the giggle that was building in my chest at the sight of her. I debated telling her it can't be as complicated as she was making it seem, though the last time I said that I was proved wrong; so I opted to keep my opinion to myself.

My stomach had really popped in the past two weeks and I was starting to feel it. I had that infamous pregnant waddle going on when I walked, and I needed to sit down every fifteen minutes when we went anywhere. Don't even start me on toilet breaks. I had peed more in the past two weeks than I had peed during my whole pregnancy; I was sure of it. One of these babies sure was having fun playing with my bladder. Figuratively of course.

"Why don't I go call your brothers? Tommy has done all this before." I reminded her, nodding to the mess she was making on the floor of my yoga room. We still hadn't gotten around to painting the nursery, so we were putting anything that could fit through the door together today and painting tomorrow. At least that had been the plan for the past two weeks.

"No, I can do this." She said, her stubborn attitude coming off too strong for me to deal with. I pursed my lips again, resting my hands on my stomach as I quietly waited for her to cave in and ask for my help. I frowned as I noticed just how much the blue exercise ball I was sitting on was straining under my extra weight.

"I love you, but this does need to be done before the babies get here…" I said quietly, standing up and pushing the ball into the corner of the room. I slowly lowered my body to the floor, sitting cross legged next to Jane, pulling the instructions out of her hands. She sighed dramatically, leaning her head on my shoulder in defeat.

Looking down at the instruction leaflet in my hands, I suddenly wished I had let Jane try and figure this all out on her own. _Insert tab A into slot C at a perpendicular angle before slotting side B into the opposite end of tab D_. When did tab D come into play?

"Okay this is too hard." I admitted, causing Jane to laugh from beside me, groaning loudly as she her whole body down on the floor. I knew if I followed suit and laid down, I wouldn't be able to get back up.

"How are my babies doing?" Jane asked, looking up at me with a small smile as she reached to touch the one side of my stomach she could reach from her position. As if on cue, one of the babies kicked hard against my stomach, my fitted maternity shirt bulging where his/her foot pushed through my stomach.

"Awake." I laughed, swallowing the lump in my throat at the movement going on inside of me. I could have had years to get used to this feeling, and I still don't think I would be used to it. No matter where I was when one of the babies kicked, I had to stop and take the time to appreciate what was happening. I refused to take a second of it for granted.

"Have you thought about what we want to do with their last name?" Jane asked as I moved to sit back on the exercise ball, the hard floor too much for my pregnant back to handle. I pursed my lips, bouncing slowly with both hands resting on my stomach as I did so.

"I just assumed they would be Rizzoli's." I told her truthfully. When Jane and I had gotten married I had opted to hyphenate my name rather than drop Isles all together, though I never used Isles any more.

"I was thinking maybe we could use Isles as a middle name." She suggested, sitting up and resting her back against the wall, stretching her legs out in front of her. It was rare for even me to see Jane wearing shorts, and the tight black booty shorts she was wearing today made me wonder why I didn't insist on her wearing shorts more often.

"It depends what their first names are going to be, I don't want them to have a name that doesn't flow." I told her, earning a nod as we both sat in silence. My mind traced over every name of every person I had ever met, trying to find two names that matched each other appropriately.

"Do you think they should have Irish or Italian names?" Jane asked, tilting her head to the left. I knew why she was asking; my mother had suggested over a family dinner last weekend that we were supposed to follow some sort of tradition with the names of our children. I could not have a more Irish name if I tried, and apparently, we were supposed to respect and follow that.

"Ben?" Jane suggested, and my nose instinctively scrunched up at the mere sound of the name, causing a loud surprised laugh to escape Janes chest.

"What about Amy?" I said, smiling at her across the room. Jane rolled her eyes, shaking her head in response.

"Hayley?" I shook my head, not even taking the time to think through the name she had just suggested.

"What do you think of Noah?" I asked, looking down at my stomach as I spoke, placing both my hands over where I assumed baby B was still resting. The second the word left my mouth, I had this strange feeling wash over me.

"Well it's not Irish, that's for sure." Jane laughed standing and moving to sit closer to me, staring at my stomach with pursed lips and tight eyes. "I kind of love it." She said suddenly, looking up at me with a smile.

"Did we just name one of our babies?" I asked; the smile on my face so huge it made my cheek muscles start to burn. Jane chuckled quietly, standing and holding her hands towards me, easily lifting me into a standing position.

"Noah Isles Rizzoli." She said quietly, placing her hands on either side of my face with the smile I had only ever seen twice in my life. I had figured out that it was her tell when she was at her absolute happiest. "I love you."

"I love you more." I whispered in return before she leant forward, pressing her lips softly to mine. Her hands moved from my face to rest on either side of my swollen abdomen. "We still have to think of a girl's name." I noted as we stood in the comfortable embrace, our foreheads resting against one another as we both glanced down at the bump keeping our chests from touching.

"Harper Isles Rizzoli?" Jane suggested, and my heart skipped a beat. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as I pictured calling the name Harper through the house when dinner was ready. Or going to a day care and saying I was there to pick up Harper Rizzoli. It worked, it worked on so many levels I couldn't fathom it.

"Our babies have names." I said, opening my eyes and looking up at Jane who was beaming across at me. "I love you but my back hurts." I complained, making a quiet chuckle leave Janes mouth before she backed away, giving me space to sit on the window seat in the corner of the room.

"I'm more determined than ever to get this done." Jane said excitedly, looking down at the mess of pieces of wood at her feet. "But first I'm going to call Tommy."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"You're doing it wrong!" Jane exclaimed when Tommy picked up the power drill, placing it against a nail he had secured against one side of the first crib. Jane had been hovering over everything he did from the moment he arrived, and his exasperation was clear when he turned the drill off, dropping it to the floor and covering his face with both of his hands.

"Why did you ask for my help if you won't let me do it?!" Tommy exclaimed back at her, throwing his hands down by his side. Jane frowned at him, picking up the drill and turning to look at the crib with raised eyebrows. Nothing about this was going to end well.

"Jane… Maybe you should let Tommy do it." I suggested quietly, bringing the warm cup of green tea in my hands up to my lips, looking down into the cup when she shot a silent glare in my direction.

"I've done this before." Tommy reminded her, prying the drill from her hands as he got back to work on finishing the first crib. Once the said nail was firmly in place, Tommy grabbed one end of the crib and shook it hard, smiling proudly when it not only stayed together, but didn't move.

"Show off." Jane muttered under her breath as they both stood proudly looking at the crib they had taken two hours to put together. I had to admit, they had done a good job. The crib looked incredible. "Beer?" Jane offered, pushing his shoulder playfully as she started to leave the room.

"Um, what about the other one?" I asked, stopping Jane midstride. She turned to look at me with a confused expression all over her sweet face until she noticed the rest of the pieces still left of the floor.

"Oh right, there's two." I pursed my lips, trying to decide if I was amused or annoyed that she completely forgotten about the fact that we were in need of _two _cribs instead of one. And everyone kept telling me _I_ had pregnancy brain.

"Did you guys get one of those basinet things?" Tommy asked, taking a break and sitting beside me as he sipped on a bottle of water. Jane and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows, each waiting for the other to ask the embarrassing question.

"Why… Do we need one?" Jane asked sceptically, busying herself with placing all the crib pieces in the appropriate order that they would need to be put together.

"Without them you'll never be able to sleep in the same room as the babies." He said simply, shrugging as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Our parents didn't spend all that money on these so they could sleep in our room." I pointed out, gesturing to the mess of wood on the floor. Tommy chuckled, shaking his head.

"If you both think you'll be okay sleeping apart from them when they come home from the hospital… You're in for a rude awakening."

I guess we were buying bassinets.


	8. 30 Weeks

**30 Weeks**

More than once I had told our family that I did not want, nor require, a baby shower. Jane and I were fortunate enough to be financially blessed, and I could not fathom why we were required to be showered in gifts and attention any more than we already had been.

"Remember, it's not for us, it's for them." Jane reminded me quietly when we slowly made our way up the pathway to my half-sisters home. Cailin had sworn Jane to secrecy when she had started planning the baby shower, but Jane was more than aware that if we showed up and I had no warning; I would have spoken my mind without a second thought. We all know how terribly that could have gone.

"This is completely unnecessary." I whispered to Jane whose hand was wrapped around my waist, helping me waddle my way up to the house. She rolled her eyes at me, steering me toward the backyard.

"Just act surprised." She reminded me quietly as she pushed the gate open. I had expected to see our families and perhaps Frost and Korsak. I was_ not_ expecting to see just about every person I had ever met in the past five years in my sister's expansive backyard.

The screams of the word _surprise _echoed in my ears as my eyes went wide, my hand moving to grab onto Jane to help keep me upright as I jumped backwards slightly. I blinked a few times, trying to get my heart rate to slow down before I forced a smile toward the people who had come to celebrate our babies.

"Are you surprised?!" Cailin asked excitedly, skipping up to me and wrapping her arms gently around my waist. I held tightly onto Janes hand, still trying to regulate my heart rate.

"That could have sent me into early labour." I hissed at my half-sister, pinching her lightly on her arm until she let me go. I took a deep breath and looked around at the marquee set up with all sorts of different tables underneath it. After hugging more people than I cared to, I made my way to the closest chair. "This is _ridiculous._" I whispered to Jane as she handed me a bottle of water, a small smile playing on her lips. Jane had worn a long white dress by command of her mother, and I had to admit I missed her tight shirts and jeans already.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, the same question she had asked me three times every single day since I told her I was pregnant. I simply nodded in response, sipping the water in my hands slowly. "There's a cake." She told me, my eyebrows rising in excitement.

"Let's do the presents first!" Angela exclaimed, grabbing my hand and gently pulling me into a standing position. She guided me to the table were boxes upon boxes of blue and pink wrapping sat two metres off of the ground. My eyes scanned for Jane, desperate not to have to do this alone.

"I'm here." Jane whispered from behind me suddenly, placing a chair behind me so I could sit down. Everyone gathered around us and I could not recall another time in my life that I had felt more uncomfortable or overwhelmed. "Open this first." Jane told me, pulling a bag out from behind her back and placing it in my lap.

"I didn't get you anything." I realised aloud, frowning across at her. I had a weeks' notice of the baby shower and I didn't think to get her anything. She rolled her eyes at me, shaking her head as she pushed the bag further into my lap. I pulled the gift out of the bag, holding them up next to each other as I tried to make sense of what was in front of me. The second I did, tears burned behind my eyes.

I held the two onesies up for everyone to see. On the blue onesie was a picture of handcuffs, the words _partners in _written in bold along the top. The pink onesie had a picture of a scalpel with the finishing word of the sentence. _Partners in crime._ She pressed her lips lightly against mine, my heart swelling in my chest as she did so.In true Jane fashion though, the other two onesies in the bag read _I was planned_ and _I was not_. Always a joker; my wife.

If there was anything left that Jane and I had needed to buy for either of the babies before today; we no longer needed to. We were given two of everything. Two baby baths, two high chairs and two sets of so many dummies I lost count. We were even given a twin carrying stroller that was made for jogging. I cannot believe I ever thought this was a bad idea, any stresses I had about being unprepared for the babies seemed to momentarily lift of my shoulders.

The only big ticket item Jane and I had left to purchase was the car seats; and I wasn't at all worried about that as much as I probably should have been.

The three tier cake Angela made us was the highlight of my whole day. It had both the babies' names written across the front in the appropriate gender conforming colours, and two candy strollers called the top of the chocolate home. I spent the best part of the day eyeing the cake, wondering if anyone would judge me if I took the top tier back to the table and ate the whole thing.

"They are so loved." I realised out loud, Hope sitting beside me as we ate small pieces of cake. It was the first time she and I had really had a moment alone since I found out I was pregnant and we still weren't really sure how to talk to each other as mother and daughter.

"You've got some very lucky babies in there." She agreed with an affectionate smile, her eyes directed at my stomach as she spoke. "You look so wonderful pregnant, Maura." I shifted awkwardly in my seat as I lifted another forkful of cake into my mouth. I looked down at the floor length light grey chiffon dress that covered my stomach and tried not to flinch at the fact I couldn't even see my knees over my stomach.

"I feel like a house." I joked, both of us laughing quietly as I sat back in my seat, resting both my hands comfortably on my now ridiculously huge stomach. "What was your baby shower like?" I asked casually as Jane came to take her place beside me again, pressing a light kiss to my cheek before she busied herself talking to the other guests around the table.

"When I was pregnant with you? Well, it was nothing like this." She laughed, looking around at the sceptical her other daughter had put on for me. "It was just a few friends in my dorm room." I nodded, frowning as a questioned crossed my mind. "You can ask." She said quietly, taking a sip of the champagne she had in her hand.

"What did you do with the gifts?" Her eyes drifted closed for a moment and I wondered if maybe I should have kept my question to myself.

"Your father took them; I do know what he did with them." She forced a smile in my direction, sighing and clapping her hands on her knees before she pulled her chair closer to me, looking down at my stomach before glancing back up to my face. After eight months I had figured out it was peoples silent way of asking if they could touch me.

"Go ahead." I told her, letting my hands droop down beside me to give her better access to my stomach. I was more than used to people touching and talking to my stomach at this point. "Who paid for all this?" I asked, looking around at the extravagant decorations around us. She smiled up at me, nodding toward my mother and father who were sitting beside us.

"Did you pay for all this?" I asked, looking my father in the eye while Hopes hands lingered on my stomach. I could hear her getting excited about one of the babies kicking, but my thoughts were preoccupied.

"That's my first set of grandchildren in there." He said with a warm smile, Jane turning to look at me with the same smile on her face as he spoke.

"But you paid for one of the cribs, you shouldn't have…"

"Maura darling, complain all you like but if you had of let me pay for furnishing the whole nursery we would have." My mother interjected, taking a sip of her champagne when she finished speaking. It was strange, seeing my parents suddenly so attentive and involved in my life.

After countless baby games and having the same conversation with every person there; the day was finally over. I stayed exactly where I was, letting everyone come and say goodbye to me until it was just Jane, Cailin and I sitting in the backyard. I could see Hope, Angela and my mother scurrying around packing the gifts that could fit into our car in the car, but I didn't have the energy to offer my help.

"This was way too much for us." I started, pointing at my half-sister across the table, my eyes tightening on her. "But it was amazing, so thank you." I softened my voice, needing her to know how strongly I appreciated the effort she must have gone to in order to make this as incredible as it was.

"Stay for dinner." Cailin begged, reaching across the table and grabbing my hands, pouting her lips in my direction as she did so. I turned my head to Jane raising my eyebrows in question.

"Only if you don't cook." Jane joked, winking at my sister across the table.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"I cannot remember the last time I was this tired." I complained, my eyes closed as I sat with my head resting against Janes shoulder. She hummed in agreement beside me, sighing quietly as the sound of Cailin returning with Chinese food made us both sit up.

"Are you okay?" Cailin asked me quietly as I hobbled toward the dinner table, pulling the floor length dress up to my knees as I climbed into my chair at the dinner table, not waiting for anyone else to join me before I started eating. I smiled and nodded up at her, my free hand resting on top of my stomach underneath the table.

"Can I get you anything?" Jane offered, leaning down and pressing her lips lightly against the top of my shoulder. I shook my head, my mouth full of noodles.

"Okay… So I have so many things I want to ask you about being pregnant that I haven't because I know you hate people only talking to you about the babies but…" Cailin trailed off, pursing her lips.

"Go for it." I laughed quietly, Janes hand that wasn't holding her chopsticks moving to rest on my thigh gently, her thumb moving in circular motions.

"Did you get stretch marks?" Cailin asked, scrunching her nose as she looked down at the place where my swollen stomach rested under the table. I laughed quietly again, shifting my chair backwards and pulling the dress I was wearing up and over my stomach. It hadn't occurred to me that no one except Jane had seen my bare pregnant stomach until now.

"Not even one." I said proudly, looking down at the pale white skin of my huge stomach. Jane rolled her eyes at me, pulling my dress back down with a small smirk.

"What about sex?" Cailin asked, whispering the last word as her eyes shifted to Jane momentarily. Jane raised her eyebrows, looking down at her food awkwardly. I bit down on my bottom lip, wondering how much about your sex life it was appropriate to share with your younger sibling.

"We are quite sexually active." I shrugged casually, Janes wide eyes moving to rest on my face now. "In fact this morning we got into this crazy position where I was standing on the…"

"Okay, Maura. She gets the idea." Jane said, covering her mouth full of food as she spoke. Cailin giggled quietly from across the table, nodding in understanding.

"Do you know when you're having them yet?" Cailin asked, crossing her arms across her chest, resting them against the table as she nodded down to my stomach.

"We have our next scan in two weeks and they'll hopefully be able to set a date." I said with an excited smile, desperate to hide how anxious I was starting to feel about the prospect of the babies finally being here and not safe in my stomach. "Baby B was still pretty small three days ago, but we're hoping he's doing well enough to stay inside until 39 weeks."

"Isn't that really rare? For twins to go to full term?" Cailin asked, the curious medical student coming out in her, her eyes tightening in confusion as she spoke. I nodded, shoving a mouthful of noodles in my mouth.

"We can always hope." Jane said with a small smiling, answering my sisters question on my behalf. I nodded along to her words, swallowing the last of my food before Jane gave a slight nod in Cailin's direction, her eyes on mine as she did so.

"Oh! We need to ask for your assistance with something." Jane rolled her eyes at my formal words, Cailin's eyebrows rising in anticipation. "Janes family is somewhat religious, and they keep asking us who we have picked for God parents of the babies…" I trailed off, assuming she would full comprehend where I was going with my statement.

"Do you need help picking someone?" She asked, her eyebrows still raised. I pursed my lips, trying to stifle a giggle.

"We were sort of hoping _you _would be godmother." Jane said simply, taking a sip of the beer sitting in front of her. My sisters eyes widened as she sat back in her chair, her eyes fixed on my stomach.

"My brother Tommy will be the godfather, he has a kid already so if anything happened to us you wouldn't have to _live _with the babies but we would like it if you could at least…"

"I'll do it, of course I'll do it." Cailin said, interrupting Jane as she spoke. Before I knew what was happening my sister was standing behind me, her arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders. She pressed a light kiss to my cheek before she moved to do the exact same to Jane.

**xxxxxx**

**Thank you SO much for the amazing reviews and personal messages I have received for this story. You're all incredible and I am so happy you're all loving this little story as much as I am! I am still trying to decide if I'm going to continue it after the babies are born but either way, thank you!**


	9. 32 Weeks

**32 Weeks**

All the books had prepared me, the growing bump in my abdomen had prepared me, Jane had prepared me; Yet here I sat at 7.30am on a Saturday morning staring at the place my flat stomach once was feeling so under-prepared it was terrifying. I liked to think of myself as a logical, rational thinker; so why was it that every time I felt one of the babies inside me move, I assumed something horrible was happening? I wasn't cramping, I wasn't bleeding, and I wasn't contracting. So why, _why _was my brain so insistent on making me feel so insecure?

I sat silently in one of the rocking chairs in the babies now completely finished nursery, slowly rocking back and forth as I looked across at the two cribs staring back at me. In a mere matter of weeks there were going to be babies in those cribs. Two babies were going to be in those cribs. I felt my heart rate begin to accelerate and I instinctively snapped my eyes closed, trying to focus on anything other than the future that was speeding toward me.

I took three deep breaths and looked down at the two baby outfits in my lap, each printed with Baby A or Baby B across the front. I held the Baby B outfit up, trying to imagine a baby actually fitting inside the incredibly small piece of fabric. Again, my heart rate increased.

I stared at the framed photo of Jane and I on our Fenway wedding day hanging directly in between the two cribs and a small smile played at the corner of my lips. Jane Rizzoli; the woman who changed my life. I knew how excited Jane was about having children of our own, even if it did take a year of convincing her she wouldn't be a terrible mother for us to get here; we were here. We were here and it was really happening.

"Maura?" Janes tired voice came from the hallway, panic rising in my chest as I tried to quickly push any negative thoughts to the back of my mind.

"Good morning." I said quietly to her when she got to the door of the nursery, her eyebrows furrowing together at the sight of me. I let my eyes wander down her body, my heart skipping a beat as I noticed she was wearing my dressing gown. I had never seen Jane wearing a dress gown before. And slippers. She was wearing _slippers_. Oh god.

"Hey, hey, hey. Breathe." Before I knew what was happening Jane was kneeling down beside me, her hand softly running up and down my back rhythmically as loud gasps escaped my mouth. I placed one of my hands over my chest, the other grabbing onto Janes hand and squeezing so hard I was sure I' d hurt her.

It took twenty minutes, but my breathing eventually began to regulate, my grip on Janes hand loosening as a fresh wave of panic washed over me at the realisation I was going to have to explain my outburst.

"I can't be a mother to two kids." I admitted quietly both to Jane, the babies and myself. She nodded slowly, taking my hand and bringing it to her lips, pressing light kisses against my skin.

"Come on." She whispered, holding her hands out to me to help me stand. She led me slowly back to our bedroom, wasting no time in cuddling me back up in bed, my head resting on her chest the second we were both lying down. "Okay, talk to me."

"Jane I am not a maternal person and that would maybe be okay if we were having one baby but we're having _two _and you won't be able to carry the weight of the two of them if I start to…"

"Okay, you need to calm down." She said with a quiet chuckle, kissing my hair softly as she spoke. Her hand that was resting on my back began drawing small patterns against my skin.

"You look like a mum this morning." I told her, tugging lightly on my dressing gown that was still wrapped tightly around her small frame. "It made it real."

"You mean the two babies moving around inside you didn't make it real?" She asked, and I could just imagine the raised eyebrows and smirk that made their way onto her face at her clever little joke. "You're going to be a great mum."

"You cannot possibly know that." I told her, sighing quietly as one of the babies decided it was the optimum time to move around against my bladder. Jane shifted underneath me, sitting up so she could look me in the eye.

"You are the most caring, gentle, loving woman I have ever met." She started, placing my chin between her thumb and forefinger as she gently forced me to look her in the eye. "I don't know how to be a mother either, but we are going to figure it out together and I promise, even if you do stumble I will be there to remind you how incredible you are. I am always going to be right beside you and we are going to have the most adorable, most loved little babies in the world." I frowned at her, tears burning behind my eyes as I let her words seep in. Rather than saying anything, I wrapped my arms around her neck, holding her close.

"Everything is going to change." I mumbled against her, frowning as I tried to keep my tears at bay. She nodded against my shoulder, placing a light kiss to my skin as she did so.

"But things are about to get so great." She started, pulling back to look me in the eye again, her hand resting on my stomach that was keeping our bodies apart. "We're about to be parents. We're about to do play dates and baby proofing." She smiled down at me, and I felt my heart swell in my chest. "Things are about to be incredible."

She was right.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"How have we been feeling?" Julia asked from her place behind the ultrasound machine, a tacky, forced smile on her face. She pushed the machine out of the way and lifted my shirt up, again, without asking if it was okay to touch me.

"What are you doing?" Jane asked, a small frown on her face as she took one of my hands in hers, both of us completely unaware that Julia would get straight to examining me when we arrived. She didn't respond to Jane right away, instead pressing down on my stomach. I flinched when she pressed the bottom of my stomach, and she seemed to careful watch my reactions as she kept pressing down.

"It looks like your babies will be coming earlier than we anticipated." My heart stopped at her words, Janes hand tightening in mine as we both tried to figure out what exactly that meant. Julia laughed quietly when she took in the panicked expression on both of our faces. "The babies are starting to move down, so we should probably talk about scheduling you in in the next two or three weeks." Two weeks. I let out a gush of air, my hand that wasn't holding Jane placed against my chest.

"What happens if her water breaks or something before that?" Jane asked curiously, her brow still furrowed together at Julia's casual behaviour when it came to our babies.

"If your water breaks or you have any contractions, come straight in and we'll get those suckers out of you." Janes expression fell flat at Julia's words, and I prayed she would keep her opinion to herself for my sake. This woman would be cutting my abdomen open in a matter of weeks; she could say whatever she wanted.

"Is there anything I should avoid doing to make sure those things _don't_ happen?" I asked, my hands moving to rest on my stomach as I was suddenly made aware of the fact my pale stomach was on display.

"Just rest. You need as much rest as you can possibly get right now, Maura. Besides, once the babies are here you won't have two minutes to yourself, so you should really enjoy the next two weeks." I groaned, knowing this meant Jane would literally have me on the sofa and in bed and that's it. No more walks, no more drives to get frozen yogurt.

"What if baby B hasn't grown anymore?" Jane asked, smiling down at me knowing exactly what I was thinking about bed rest.

"Let's have a look." Julia said enthusiastically, my chair suddenly sinking backwards until I was in a half lying down position. Our babies' heartbeats filled the room instantly and both Jane and I let out an audible sigh. No matter how many times we heard their heartbeats; it took our breath away. "Baby B is looking pretty good."

"What does that mean?" I could tell by the bite in Janes tone that she was getting sick of having to ask for clarification of every statement Julia made about me or the babies.

"I think that if your water doesn't break and you don't start contracting, three weeks from today would be a pretty great day for you to have your babies."

Three weeks. I only had to make it three more weeks.

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**Sorry for the short chapter guys but trust me… things are about to pick up!**


	10. 35 Weeks

**35 Weeks**

Three weeks passed by painfully slowly. Walking up and down the stairs from the bedroom to the kitchen was the most amount of exercise I had gotten in the past three weeks. In the last week before I was scheduled in to have our babies, Jane had bought the mattress from our bedroom downstairs and placed it in the yoga room. She had completely restricted me to the lower level of our house, and because she had started her paternity leave; she was _always _around to make sure I barely moved. I was ready for this pregnancy to be over.

"Have you packed the hospital bag?" I asked Jane as I sat on the sofa, my eyes scanning the living room that in a matter of days would be filled with baby toys and clothes. She nodded proudly, barely taking her eyes away from the television as she leant over the back of the sofa, pulling a bag up and placing it between us.

I looked through each item in the bag, smiling down at the Baby A and Baby B onesies she had packed for the babies to wear in the hospital, assuming they were both going to be in good health after the birth. She packed dummies, bottles, baby socks and clothes. To my surprise she had even remembered to pack hand sanitiser and two swaddling blankets for the babies. She did everything perfectly.

"Okay now where's the other bag?" I asked, zipping the baby bag closed and placing it on the floor beside me. I looked across at Jane who was staring at me with a blank expression. "Jane what do you expect me to wear in hospital for five days?" I quizzed her, pursing my lips as I realised she hadn't packed a single item of clothing for _me_.

"Why will you be staying that long?" She asked with a frown as she stood up, backing slowly toward the hallway as she spoke.

"5 to 6 days is the recommended length of stay in a private hospital after a C-section and I fully intend on taking advantage of having doctors around for that period of time." She nodded along as I spoke, seeming to understand what I was saying.

"When do your parents fly in?" Jane called from the top of the stairs, I sighed in frustration, wanting nothing more than to make her focus and make sure the clothes she was packing for me matched.

"They should be here by the time the babies are out." I yelled back, resting my head against the back of the sofa as I did so. Considering today was the day we were becoming parents; I found it strangely unsettling how calm Jane and I were being. I assumed that would change the second we got to the hospital; but for now I was going to enjoy the calm.

"So I told everyone not to come to the hospital until I call but you know they're all going to be there when you get out of surgery yeah?" Jane said with a smirk as she re-entered the room, placing the back behind the sofa and just out of my reach. It was probably for the best that I didn't go through it before we left.

"And your mother is meeting us at the hospital this afternoon?" I clarified, checking the time on my watch. Jane nodded, sitting back down beside me and turning me gently so I was resting comfortably in her lap.

"Are you ready for this?" She asked quietly, pressing light kisses along my shoulder.

"It's too late to change our minds." I told her, giggling as I let my head fall back and rest on her shoulder. I turned my head and pressed affectionate kisses to her cheek; wanting nothing more than to soak up the quiet, last moments she and I were going to have alone for the rest of our lives. "Can you remind me to bring a blanket for the car ride home? I don't want anything rubbing against the stitches." She nodded softly against me, sighing contently as we wasted the rest of our last free afternoon ravelled up in one another.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

I was right; the second we got to the hospital panic started to set in. Angela and Jane were sat side by side in the corner of the room while a nurse took my blood pressure and tried to make small talk. I didn't take in a word she said until she asked me if I had shaved my upper pubic region before coming in. I frowned at her, wondering how she could possibly have expected someone with a stomach as large as mine to even _reach _that far down my own body.

"No, why should we have done that?" Jane perked up, sitting up straight in her chair, a mild look of concern all her face. The nurse explained it was merely for sanitary reasons because of where the incision was going to be and she left Jane with a disposable razor. "Ma can you…" Jane started as she nodded toward the door, walking over to stand before me.

"Don't go; it's okay." I interjected, looking over Janes shoulder at my mother in law. I lied down on the hospital bed and pulled the ugly, but extremely comfortable, hospital gown up to my stomach. Jane pulled the top of my underwear down slightly and shaved what little hair there was away.

"Can I come in?" I heard from the doorway, looking up to see my half-sister walk into the private room with a vase in her hands. I smiled across at her, swatting Janes hands away as I sat up, admiring the beautiful flowers she had bought for us. She placed them on the bedside table silently before she made her way to me. "I know you told me not to come." She started, turning to look at Jane with guilty eyes. "But I wanted to wish you luck." She added, nudging Jane playfully before she hugged me gently.

"You could probably hang out in here while I'm in surgery." I noticed, looking around the private room my health insurance was paying for. "But you will have to share space with Jane's brothers." I added with a smile, knowing that the second we went into the OR the boys would be here anxiously waiting.

"How long does it normally take?" Cailin asked, taking a seat next to Angela who wrapped an arm around her casually.

"An hour and half, maybe two." I told her, shrugging as I tried not to think about the fact that we were creeping closer and closer to meeting our babies. Julia suddenly walked through the door in her scrubs and my heart sank. It was time.

"Are we ready to have some babies today?" She asked in a perky tone, and my wide eyes must have made everyone aware of the sudden panic that was washing over me because both Jane and Angela's hands were suddenly holding onto mine. "Let me explain what's going to happen, will that help?" Julie asked, her voice lowering as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed beside me. I nodded silently, butterflies filling my stomach. "We're going to take you in, set you up with an IV and the epidural. Then we'll get to work taking the babies out, stitch you up and it's all over."

"And I will be right there the whole time." Jane added from beside me, her words seeming to calm my nerves more than anything Julia had just said to me.

"Let's have our babies." I whispered, taking a deep breath as Julia helped me stand up.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

I sat on the edge of the operating table with my heart in my throat. The table, as well as the smell in the room, reminded me of my autopsy room. That was a thought I had to get rid of as quickly as possible. Jane and Angela were out in the hallway changing into the appropriate outfits they had to wear in the operating theatre and sitting there alone was driving me crazy.

"Do you need to use the bathroom?" A quiet, sweet doctor asked with a sympathetic smile as she placed a hand on my back reassuringly. "Because once we insert the epidural you won't be able to move around anymore." She added as Jane and her mother walked into the room. I shook my head, not trusting my voice.

"She's ready." Jane whispered to the doctor as Angela hovered back, knowing this was the time I needed Jane and only Jane.

"Okay Maura, you're going to need to stay as still as possible for me okay? Sit up straight and hold onto your wife for support." I followed her instructions, leaning forward and wrapping my arms tightly around Jane's middle. She gently rested her lips against the top of my head, pressing light kisses as the doctor inserted the needle. "Okay, once your legs start to feel numb Jane can help lift them up onto the table."

"You're doing so well." Jane encouraged as she pulled back, taking my face between her hands and pressing a light kiss against my lips. I took a deep breath as I felt a strange tingle trickle down my back and through my legs. I tested the waters, pressing my fingertips into my thighs and frowning.

"I can't feel my legs." I told Jane who pursed her lips with a smirk, nodding her head.

"I think that's kind of the idea, baby." She laughed, shaking her head as she lifted my legs onto the table. It was terrifying, not being able to feel the bottom half of my body. I knew the second this all started I would be more than thankful I couldn't feel anything, but until then; it was terrifying. Once I was lying down the nurses got to work setting up the mirror above my stomach and placing the shield in front of our faces. They pulled chairs up on either side of my head, both Angela and Jane moving to grab each my hands reassuringly.

"This is actually happening." I whispered my eyes on Janes as I spoke. Her eyes were wider than usual, and I could tell she was doing her very best to stay calm for me. I made a mental note to thank her for that when I wasn't in such a vulnerable position.

"Okay Maura, are we ready?" Julia asked, peaking over the shield between us. The creases by her eyes told me that behind her face mask; she had that same cheesy smile on her face. I nodded, forcing that same fake smile back at her.

"Do you want us to talk to you?" Angela whispered to me, her thumb tracing light circles over the back of my hand. I shook my head, wanting nothing more than to focus on what was going on. My eyes were staring straight up into the mirror as Julia sliced through my abdomen. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jane look away from the mirror and across at her mother. I hadn't expected her to be able to watch the whole thing.

The rest of the procedure went by in a blur. I didn't even realised I had closed my eyes until the sound of a baby crying echoed in the room. My eyes shot open in time to see Julia hold Baby A above me, giving me a snapshot of my daughter before she whisked her away.

"Is she…" I started, panic rising in my chest when I could no longer see her. "Go." I told Jane, pushing her away from me forcefully. She disappeared and I could hear and feel Angela crying in happiness beside me. We weren't safe yet; there was still one more baby that needed to be out safely before I could let myself feel anything.

"Hey." Jane whispered from beside me, sniffling quietly as she sat down, placing Harper Isles Rizzoli beside my face. I felt my hands start to shake. She was here; she was here and she was okay. "They are going to take her to the NICU because her temperature is a bit low, but she is perfectly okay." Jane told me as a nurse took Harper away from her, scurrying out of the room far too quickly for my liking.

"Go with her." I told Jane, who shook her head and moved to grab my hand again. I frowned at her, pulling my hand free.

"I'm here; go with your daughter." Angela said with a forceful voice, taking the hand Jane was just holding and holding in her own hands again. I think I whispered a thank you to her; I couldn't quite remember. Then suddenly, barely two minutes after his sister, Noah Isles Rizzoli was born. He didn't cry like Harper did and the hushed whispers in the room prepared me for the worst.

"Maura, baby B is having some trouble breathing so we're going to take him straight up." Was all I heard before they took him away. I didn't even get to see his face before I was lying in the room with just the doctors and my mother in law.

"Did you see him?" I whispered to Angela while I was being stitched up, the room too quiet for me to handle. She nodded slowly, leaning forward to press her lips against my forehead softly. Her lack of words warned me not to ask any more questions.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Somewhere between the operating theatre and my room I must have fallen asleep, because when I opened my eyes the room was in almost completely darkness. I could make out Jane sitting quietly on the sofa in the corner of the room. There was something noticeably missing from the room.

"Are they okay?" I asked; my voice husky and deep as I spoke. She shot out of her seat, sitting on the bed in front of me in mere seconds. She smiled down at me, reaching out and touching my face softly.

"They're keeping Harper in an incubator overnight, but apart from her temperature she's perfect. She has a little patch of blonde hair on top of her head." She told me with a quiet laugh, taking her phone out and showing me a photo of our first born child. She looked like she was a healthy weight, her bright green eyes staring back at me from the other side of the screen.

"She's beautiful." I noted, reaching out and pressing my fingertips against the screen. I rolled my eyes at myself as I felt a tear drop from my left eye. Jane pressed her lips softly against my temple, sniffling quietly before she continued.

"Noah; he's… He's really small." She said, all the happiness that was once on her face draining away. "And he's having trouble breathing on his own."

"Can I go see them?" I asked, wiggling my toes to make sure I still had full function of my legs. She nodded to the wheelchair beside the bed with a small smile. With the help of a nurse I carefully manoeuvred into the wheelchair and let Jane push me toward the NICU.

"Where's your mother?" I enquired, realising for the first time that there was no one but Jane in the room when I had woken up.

"She went to pick your parents up." She said casually as we rounded the corner and entered the room our babies were being kept safe in. I scanned all the incubators, trying to figure out which one housed my babies before we got to them.

"Back already?" One of the female nurses asked Jane quietly with an affectionate smile before she looked down at me. "You must be Noah and Harpers mummy." I swallowed the lump in my throat at the term _mummy. _I suppose that is exactly what I was after today.

"She sure is." Jane responded when I didn't say anything. She wheeled me right up to the side of a pink incubator where I got my first good look at our daughter.

Harper had a small mess of dirty blonde hair on top of her head, much like I did when I was a baby. She was dressed in her Baby A onesie and when she opened her eyes, the air was knocked straight from my lungs. I saw my own emerald green eyes staring back at me and felt tears burn my eyes again.

"Hi beautiful girl." I whispered, reaching out and touching the plastic that she was contained in, stroking the place where her face lied before me. "When can I hold her?" I asked, turning to look at the nurse who was watching us with a warm smile.

"She's doing really well; we're hoping she'll be out of here by morning." She told me with a warm smile as she placed her hand on Janes shoulder.

"What about Noah?" Jane asked as I directed my eyes to the blue incubator beside Harpers. Jane wheeled me across and the second I laid my eyes on our baby boy; my heart sank. He was smaller than I had expected and there were so many cords attached to him you could barely tell where he started and they ended.

"Dr. Williams will come by and talk to you about him tomorrow morning..." The nurse responded, and I knew what that meant.

That was never good news.

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**Okay I didn't have any time to proof-read this but I hope you all enjoy it!  
I promise the story isn't going to be super depressing; everything always works out well!**


	11. 2 Days Old

**Two days old**

All my life I had known I would one day become a mother. I had imagined what it would feel like to have a baby inside of me. I'd imagined giving birth and imagined what it would be like to see my child's face for the first time. I had gotten to know what it felt like to carry a baby, I'd found out what giving birth felt like but let me tell you; nothing I had ever imagined could ever compare to what it felt like to hold my daughter for the first time.

It was the 24th of August and our babies had been born merely two days, though it had already felt like weeks. This morning the nurses were bringing Harper out of her incubator and into my room until we were ready to go home, and the terror I felt watching the door while I waited for them was overwhelming. She was safe in the NICU. She had nurses and doctors around 24/7 and she was attached to machines that would alert us if something happened to her. In my room there was just me. Jane and I and no one else.

"Look Harper…" A quiet voice came from the doorway, our daughter nestled in one of the swaddling blankets we had bought from home. "It's mummy." I sucked in a breath at the use of the term _mummy _again. I didn't know if I was ever going to get used to it. Jane was off with Frankie spending some time with Noah in the NICU and I suddenly felt completely overwhelmed by her absence.

"Is she okay?" I asked when the nurse got closer, leaning forward to place Harper in my arms. The nurse merely nodded as she let Harper rest in my arms, gently adjusting the little beanie she was wearing. She must have noticed the nervous expression on my face, because without saying a word she grabbed the nurse call bell and placed it beside me on the bed. "Thank you." I whispered, looking up at her as I took two deep breaths.

When the door closed behind the friendly nurse, I took my first proper look down at my daughter. She was sleeping peacefully, her small lips twitching at the corners every few seconds as though she were trying to smile. I gently rocked her back and forth in my arms as I felt an involuntary smile make its way onto my lips. Oxytocin was a powerful hormone.

"Hi, little Harper." I whispered, lifting her so I could lightly press my lips against her skin for the first time. Her baby smell washed over me and I felt my eyes drift closed. I held her against my face, letting myself completely immerse in the new love and admiration I was feeling. I assumed the love I would feel for her would feel similar to the love I felt towards Jane; but it was completely different.

I pulled her away from my face, wanting to do nothing but stare at her. I lifted the cap off of her head and smiled when I noticed the dark blonde hair that sat on top of her head. I was desperate to see those green eyes again; but I wouldn't have dared to wake her up when she looked so peaceful. She had a small dimple on her left cheek that was visible even when she wasn't using any of her facial muscles; just like Jane.

"I'm your mummy." I told her, smiling down as I noticed a tear drop fall from my cheek onto her swaddling blanket. I rolled my eyes at myself, sniffling quietly as I rocked her side to side slowly. My head shot up as Jane walked into the room, my finger moving to my lips to warn her to be quiet. I was aware that babies could sleep through quite a lot, but I wanted nothing more than a peaceful environment for our little girl.

"How is she?" Jane whispered; a warm smile on her face as she leant down and pressed her lips against mine. Her kiss lingered against my lips longer than it had in a long time. I just nodded my eyes going back down to the little girl who had completely stolen my heart.

We sat there quietly, both our eyes directed at our daughter. I let one of my fingers trace over the dimple on her cheek, and I heard Jane chuckle quietly beside me as I pressed my lips against the same feature on her face.

"How's Noah?" I asked; frowning as I realised our little family unit wasn't quite complete just yet. Jane sighed quietly, moving to sit on the bed beside me, leaning down to gently press a kiss against Harpers covered head.

"The same." She said with a small shrug, clearly not wanting to give me any more details than she needed to.

"I bet you miss your brother huh?" I asked, pressing another kiss to Harpers cheek. I had a feeling kissing her face was going to become something I annoyed her with for the rest of her life.

"Please. She's probably thrilled to have some time away from him." Jane teased, scoffing quietly as three quiet knocks rapped on the door. I automatically frowned towards the sound, holding Harper closer to my chest protectively. Jane was up and opening the door in seconds, Frankie peeking his head in with a beaming smile. I nodded toward Jane, silently letting her know we were more okay than having visitors.

"How are you doing?" Frankie asked in a hushed voice as he leant forward and pressed his lips lightly to each of my cheeks. I just nodded, not wanting to him or Jane that any time I thought of our son I wanted to burst into tears. "Can I hold her?" He asked, and I immediately pulled Harper even tighter against me. Jane stifled a laugh, placing a hand on her brother's shoulder.

"When Maura has a nap." She promised, and I made a point to tell her after he left that _no one _was to be holding our baby girl while I was sleeping except for her and medical professionals. "She's a looker though, huh?" Jane said with a proud smile as we all stared lovingly at the little girl in my arms.

"She's beautiful." He whispered, groaning at himself as a single tear slipped from one of his eyes.

"Do you want me to get your mum to take you to see Noah?" Jane asked me as she gently took Harper from my arms. I crossed my arms across my chest, hating the emptiness Harpers body left behind. I shook my head, watching Jane moving from heel to heel as she rocked our daughter. "Do you want me to take you? You haven't seen him since…"

"I said I don't want to." I snapped, cutting her off. Frankies eyes shifted awkwardly between the two of us. Without saying a word, he pressed a gently kiss to Harpers forehead and left the room. The silence that followed his exit was echoing in my ears and I knew what was coming.

"Why don't you want to…"

"Do you realise he could die? At any second he could die. But she isn't going to die. She needs me here." I told her, keeping my voice as even and as calm as I possibly could under the given circumstances. Her eyes softened as she placed Harper in the small bassinet the hospital had placed in my room for her.

"Say he does die..." Jane started as she sat on the edge of my bed, taking both my hands in hers. "Do you really think not going to see him is going to make that any easier?" I frowned at her question, the logical part of my brain knowing she was right and I knew I had no justifiable argument.

"I'm not ready." I whispered, looking down at our joined hands. She nodded slowly, seeming to accept, for now, that nothing she could say would get me out of this bed and up to the NICU.

"Your family is here, everyone wants to come say hello." She told me in a whisper as Harper started to stir in her crib, the sound of her quiet cries making my heart race. I reached my arms out towards her and Jane wasted no time in taking her out of the bassinet and into my arms.

"Go get everyone." I told Jane without looking up from our baby girl who was back in the safety of my arms. I knew with the amount of people that were about to walk through the door, I was going to have to hand her over to people; to trust other people with her fragile body. I swallowed hard.

"Eek!" Cailin exclaimed quietly, jumping and clapping her hands as she ran through the door ahead of everyone. An involuntary smile found its way onto my lips at my sister's excitement and I shifted Harper in my arms so she was facing her only aunty.

Close behind her were the rest of our family. Hope, my parents, Janes mother, Tommy and Lydia and Frankie. Every single one of their faces seem to beam with excitement when they noticed the small bundle in my arms.

"Can I hold her?" Cailin asked with a hopeful look all over her face, but my eyes moved straight Frankie who was lingering behind everyone else.

"After Frankie." I promised my sister, catching his attention as I spoke. He made his way to the front of our family and smiled affectionately down at me as Jane took Harper from my arms, slowly and careful letting her brother take our babies life in his hands. Okay; that might  
be a bit dramatic, but it's exactly how it felt.

"How are you feeling?" My mother asked as she placed a light kiss to my forehead. I sighed loudly, shrugging my shoulders when I realised I had no real idea how I was feeling. I was overwhelmingly happy when I was looking at or thinking about Harper, but the second my thoughts moved to Baby B my heart dropped and my palms began to sweat.

The following hour went by painfully slowly as I watched Harper be passed around person to person. I could not have been more relieved than I was when I saw her finally nestled back safely in Jane's arms. Everyone started to slowly leave the room and before I knew it I was alone. Jane had decided to walk everyone out to the waiting room with Harper, and I didn't bother to argue.

I pressed down on the call button that the nurse had left on my bed earlier and patiently waited for merely fifteen seconds before the same lovely woman came into my room.

"I was wondering if you could take me up to the NICU." I asked her with a shaky voice. She smiled at me sympathetically as she moved the wheelchair closer to the bed.

The whole walk from my room to the NICU, I took deep breaths. I prayed Jane would understand why I went alone and not follow me. I prayed even harder that she didn't leave our daughter alone with any of our family without one of her parents.

"Will you be okay on your own?" The nurse asked when we stopped at the entrance and I offered her a small nod and a soft smile as I stood up out of the chair, walking slowly into the room and toward where my son was lying.

I looked straight at him the second I sat down and I felt my heart skip a beat. How did Jane think he was the same as he was the day he was born? He had more colour to his pale skin today than he did before, and he looked to me like he had gained a good amount of weight. He was still significantly smaller than his sister; but he was perfect.

"Hi baby boy." I said with a smile, placing my hand into the hand holes in his incubator, touching his skin for the very first time. He jumped slightly at my sudden touch and a bigger smile made its way onto my lips. "I'm sorry I took so long, but I'm here now." I told him quietly, softly stroking the back of his hand.

I had thought Harper was small, but looking in at her brother's tiny frame I realised just how decent of a size our little girl was. Noah was small; so small. I tried to force my brain out of its current hormonal state and wracked my brain for all the research and studies I had done on babies born pre-term. I remember reading that some babies that were under weight and needed help breathing directly after birth could spend up to eight weeks in hospital. I took a deep breath and thought through what that meant for our family.

It would mean we would take Harper home and he wouldn't be coming home with us.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I had someone PM me and ask me what dummies are; which are something I said Jane had packed in the baby bag without any thought that maybe people from America wouldn't know the slang. A dummy is a pacifier!**

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Next update is going to be a loooonggg one so get ready!**


	12. 5 Days Old

**Five Days Old**

We knew this day was coming. Jane and I had both been silently preparing ourselves for the day we would have to leave the hospital without Noah since the day he was born; but nothing can really prepare you for the heartache you feel knowing he will be there alone. At least when I was a patient in the hospital Jane and I were in the same building as him 24 hours a day. Now we were going home and would have to come back during visiting hours to see him.

"You didn't install the car seats yourself did you?" I asked Jane as she slowly wheeled me toward the car. I could imagine the frown that made its way onto her face from behind me, but I didn't dare turn around.

"Tommy did it for us. He installed two in your car too." She said after a moment of silence. I knew she was struggling as hard as I was with the fact we were going home with only one of our babies, so I chose to reply with comfortable silence. When we got to the car she put the brakes on the wheelchair and carefully lifted Harper out of my arms. I watched with pursed lips and a furrowed brow as she placed her in the car seat. She suddenly looked far too small for us to be taking her home.

I crawled into the car beside Harper , placing a blanket between the seatbelt and the stitches on my lower abdomen to make sure they didn't get irritated, though being readmitted to the hospital wouldn't be the worst thing in the world right now. I placed a baby blanket that was covered in small handcuffs over Harpers body, tucking it in gently at her sides. I sighed quietly as I looked down at her perfect little face. How was she inside of me five days ago? How was she ever a part of me? She looked so beautiful I couldn't wrap my head around it.

"She's really beautiful." I noted aloud, meeting Janes eyes as she looked back at us in the rear view mirror.

"She suits her name perfectly, don't you think?" Jane asked with a small smile as her eyes darted between us and the road. I had no idea how much sleep Jane had had over the past week but the red in her eyes told me it wasn't nearly enough.

"She's perfect." I agreed, smiling down at the little girl who had completely stolen both of our hearts.

I spent the whole drive back to the house staring at our daughter, trying not to focus on how incomplete our family felt. I knew Jane would be going back to the hospital this afternoon to be with him, but it did little to take away the pain of him not being with us _now._ Did it make me a bad mother that I was giving so much attention to only one of my children?

"Do you want me to set you up in the living room or the bedroom?" Jane asked me quietly when we pulled up to the house. I had to admit I was surprised not to see any of our families cars in the driveway; though some peace and quiet was probably exactly what I needed right now.

"Are you going straight back to the hospital?" I asked, answering her question with another question. She nodded at me as she jumped out of the car, wasting no time in taking Harper out of her car seat. I noticed Janes eyes drift closed as she closed the car door; our daughter held close against her chest.

"Will you be okay to get up the stairs?" Jane asked me as we walked into our house. I debated telling her I wanted to stay downstairs in case someone came over, but the idea of walking up and down the stairs to the change table when Harper needed it did not sound desirable.

"I'll be fine." I told her with a small smile as she placed Harper in my arms, Jane's eyes scanning the stairs as if she doubted what I was telling her. She followed me up the stairs, one of her hands resting on my lower back as I took each step slowly, a slight uncomfortable tugging in my abdomen making me walk a lot slower than I otherwise would have.

I placed Harper into the bassinet on my side of the bed. It was the one we had set up for her brother, but I doubted that it really mattered at this point. I was anxious for time to pass so she could get a bit bigger; it made me sick noting how small she looked no matter where she was. Jane stood above her, running her thumb across Harpers cheek as she shifted on her feet.

"You can go." I told her in a quiet voice as I climbed into the bed, sighing at the comfort of finally being back in our big, comfortable bed. I lifted my shirt and pants off, leaving me in just a tank top and my boy cut underwear. Jane looked at me with apologetic eyes; as though she couldn't decide what the right thing to do was.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" She asked once more, her eyes moving back to rest on our daughters sleeping face. In all honesty I wanted to beg her to stay. I wanted her to sit with me and admire our baby girl and share all the excited feelings I was feeling deep down about having her home with us. But I knew; I knew that right now Noah needed us and if that meant me spending our first night home from the hospital alone; then so be it.

"I'll call Cailin soon and see if she wants to come keep me company." I said with a smile, pulling the blanket that covered my body up around my shoulders. Peace and quiet was far from what I needed; the idea of being home alone with a newborn on her first night home was not my idea of a good night.

"Visiting hours end at 10pm, so I should be back before you fall asleep." She told me as she pulled the clothes she was wearing off her body and replacing them with far more comfortable, durable clothes. I wanted to point out that now there was a newborn here, I couldn't imagine myself having as many late nights.

"Can you just…" I started, sighing as I pulled the blanket on her side of the bed open, nodding at the empty space beside me. She looked down at the bed with a slight frown. "I am exhausted and my hormones are still making me feel loopy." I told her as my voice began to shake. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded again at the space that was beside me. "So I am asking my wife to hold me."

She didn't hesitate. Her body slipped into the bed behind me, her arm easily wrapping around my waist and resting on the top of my stomach to be sure she didn't touch the stitches. She buried her face in my neck, pressing light kisses against my pulse point. I reached out and gently stroked Harpers hand, my eyes drifting closed as a range of emotions washed over me.

"I'm scared too." Jane whispered, resting her chin on my shoulder as she spoke. I took a deep breath and shifted so I was lying on my back, her eyes resting on our daughter when she could.

"You have to talk to me." I reminded her in a quiet voice, pushing a lose strand of hair away from her face. She looked completely exhausted. I had been so busy thinking about what my body had just gone through that it hadn't even occurred to me what Jane must have been going through.

"I need him to be okay." She told me, groaning quietly as she moved to rest her forehead on my shoulder so I could no longer see her face. I felt tears slip from her eyes and onto my shoulder and knew nothing I could ever say would make it okay.

"We all do." I told her as images of our little boy hooked up to machines helping him breathe filled my mind.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The house was quiet; too quiet considering there was a five day old little girl sleeping in her bassinet beside me. After Jane had left to go spend some time with Noah I had closed all of the curtains and plunged the room into complete darkness. I flicked the lamp on the other side of the bed on and pulled out my laptop.

I had all of an hour of free time before quiet cries started to come from the wooden bassinet beside me. My heart skipped a beat at the sound of her first cry in her new home. In less than a second my laptop had been discarded to the side of the bed, the blanket pulled off of my body as I shot out of bed.

"It's okay, mummy is here, you're okay." I whispered as I gently lifted her up to rest against my chest. I felt a small frown make its way onto my face as I took three deep breaths, remembering that I read somewhere that babies can pick up on your anxiety or tension.

I closed my eyes and held her close against my chest, her quiet cries echoing in my head as I shifted back and forth on my feet slowly, my thumb softly tracing across her back. Her cries turned into quiet moans before she fell completely silent in my arms. I sat back down on the bed as gently as I could, her eyes opening to stare into mine as I placed her down on the bed in front of me.

"Good afternoon beautiful girl." I smiled down at her, placing my hand lightly on her stomach. She blinked up at me, bringing one of her hands to her face and yawning. "You better enjoy the quiet because before you know if you're going to have so many family members around you won't know what's happening." I told her with a smile, her eyes staring into mine with such intensity it made me suck in a breath, the smile never seeming able to leave my face. "But don't worry, you and your brother are the most loved babies ever."

She screwed up her face slightly and I couldn't help but let out a quiet giggle. She was definitely Janes daughter. She began to whine quietly again and I instinctively picked her up and placed her back in my arms, her mouth opening and closing as her face came into contact with my chest. I pursed my lips to stifle a giggle at her actions before I started to feed her.

"Maura?" My sisters voice echoed through the house as she walked up the stairs. I flinched at the sound of her booming voice, Harper jumping slightly in front of me. I placed a finger over my lips to silence Cailin as she walked into the bedroom, an apologetic smile making its way onto her face.

"Thank you for coming." I whispered when she crawled into the bed beside me. Cailin pushed down gently on the boob Harper was attached to so she could get a better look of her nieces face, a huge smile coming onto her face when she noted Harper falling asleep on me.

"Are you sure you're feeling up for this?" Cailin asked quietly when I pulled Harper away from my chest, her eyes firmly closed as I placed her in her aunt's arms. Cailin automatically lifted Harper to rest on her shoulder as she started to burp her. I nodded silently, forcing myself to get out of bed and pull on some workout clothes.

"We'll just go for a little walk and if it's too much we'll come back." I told her in the same way I would have if it were Jane sitting here with me. I had done a lot of research about when I would be able to start walking around again, and my doctor had told me that so long as I took it slow and didn't start running around; I should be okay.

"Do you want me to change her?" Cailin asked as I noticed the small amount of spit up that had found its way onto Harpers _Baby A _onesie. I shook my head and reached out for my little girl, nodding toward the pram in the corner of the rom.

"Can you take that downstairs for me though?" I asked with a polite smile as I carried Harper into the nursery, grabbing out another onesie and placing her on the change table. I opted with a pale white outfit that read _I'm acute baby _with an acute angled triangle on the front. I had thought it was the funniest, cutest thing I had ever seen; Jane had not agreed.

When I got downstairs Cailin was waiting by the front door with the double stroller open and ready to go. I handed Harper to her carefully and grabbed the prepacked nappy bag we were yet to use and placed it in the empty seat in the pram. I wasn't overly surprised to notice that Harper was still fast asleep as we began our little walk. I was thankful for a pram that meant I could look at her the whole time we walked because I could just imagine how stressed it would have made me to not be able to see her at all times.

"When are you going to see Noah?" Cailin asked me as we made our way down the street, the sound of our little boys name echoing in my head as I tried to think of an answer to her question.

"I will make sure I get up there sometime in the next few days." I told her, shivering as a cold afternoon breeze brushed past us. "How's school?" I asked her, realising nothing over the past week had been about anything but me.

"Stressful." She admitted with a quiet laugh, lacing her arm through mine casually as she did so. She sighed quietly and placed her head on my shoulder as we made our way into the park by my home.

"Is there anything you need to talk about?" I asked her, concerned and confused by her sudden affectionate action. Cailin and I were the farthest from affectionate with another that two sisters could be.

"I'm just really glad you're okay." She told me quietly, removing her head from my shoulder and shrugging her own. I smiled across at her, nodding my head slowly in understanding. "Do you think she misses him?" She asked me suddenly.

"I've been wondering the same thing." I responded honestly, both of us looking down at Harper who had started to slowly wake up in front of us. "There are studies that suggest when one of the babies in a multiple pregnancy dies; the other child does feel lonely without any real understanding of _why_ they feel like that. So maybe she does. It's quite interesting really." She was frowning when I looked at her, my eyes widening in confusion.

"Yeah, except her brother isn't dead Maura." She reminded me with a wary expression all over her face, and I realised what I had just said.

I needed to see Noah.


	13. Five Weeks Old

**Five weeks old**

**Janes POV**  
Mornings had fast become my favourite part of any day. We had managed to get Harper on a regular feeding and sleep schedule surprisingly quickly, and she very rarely strayed from that routine. Every morning I set my alarm for 5.15am, a mere fifteen minutes before I knew Harper would begin waking up and be ready for her morning feed. Maura was always exhausted after having been up with our little girl during the night; so she was more than happy to let me handle the morning feeds on my own.

"Hi beautiful." I whispered, a huge smile making its way onto my face at the sight of our daughter looking up at me from her bassinet on Mauras side of our bed. I lifted her carefully into my arms, placing soft kisses to her neck and face as I made my way into the living room.

I placed our little girl on the play mat we had set out for her in the living room on her stomach, a wide range of stimulating toys all around the purple mat. Maura had insisted on toys that were specifically black, white and red. According to my genius of a wife; they were the most stimulating colours at her age. Honestly? I don't think Harper could care less what colour her toy dinosaur was.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her as I stood by the kettle, placing her bottle in a cup of boiling water as I waited for the breast milk to warm up enough for Harper to drink it. I looked over the counter in time to catch our little girl lift her neck up and stare at me across the room. I felt my eyes widen as I grabbed the bottle and made my way over to her, sitting with my knees in front of my chest.

She placed her head back down on the mat before she expertly lifted it once again, her eyes fixated on the pink bottle I held in my hands. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride wash over me. This was the first time she had lifted her head up during tummy time and I couldn't imagine ever feeling as proud as I did right then.

"How clever are you?!" I exclaimed with a smile as I lifted her into my lap, resting her back on my legs as I looked down at her, my mouth open in a huge smile as I gently tickled her stomach. I slipped the bottle into her mouth my eyes still fixed on her sweet face as she began gently sucking.

I sat there for what felt like hours just watching her have her morning bottle, completely transfixed with how beautiful she was. She was looking more and more like Maura every day. The small patch of hair she had on top of her head when she was born was slowly starting to thicken and it was clear she was definitely going to be a blonde. Her bright green eyes had started to darken, though every time I saw them I felt my breath catch in my throat. She was my little Maura.

"Hey." Mauras quiet voice came from behind the sofa suddenly, making me jump in my spot at her sudden presence in the room. I smiled up at her as she walked over and joined me, leaning down to press a kiss against Harpers forehead before her lips found my own.

"Did you sleep okay?" I asked her in the same quiet voice she had just spoken in when her lips left mine. She took the bottle from my hands without hesitation and lifted Harper into her arms, patting her back firmly as she tried to burp our daughter.

"Not really; I'm so anxious about today." I nodded silently in agreement to her statement. Today they were lowering the oxygen levels Noah was on, which would in turn give us an estimated time of when we would finally be able to bring our little boy home and finally have our whole family together. I was feeling just as anxious as she was.

"I wonder if she thinks about him." I pondered, pursing my lips as Maura finally got a burp out of our little girl. She lowered her back into her lap in the same position I had held her earlier and we both continued to just stare down at her.

"I'm sure she wants him home just as much as we do." Maura responded thoughtfully, smiling down at our daughter who had completely captured our hearts. "This isn't really that hard, is it?" Maura added, turning to smile at me sweetly.

"It's because there is only one of her." I joked, playfully nudging Maura softly.

"It's because you are perfect." Maura said in her high pitched baby voice, giving Harper a huge, open mouthed smile as she spoke.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Mauras POV  
**I didn't think I was ever going to be able to leave the house. It took twenty minutes for me to express enough milk to last Angela and Harper for the afternoon, and once that was all over and done with; it took me an hour to actually say goodbye to our little girl. Jane had been to the hospital far more often than I had. This was the first time I had physically left her in the presence of someone other than Jane; and I was not coping.

"I might just call and…" Jane snatched my cell phone out of my hand the second it left my front pocket, rolling her eyes at me as she slid it down the front of her shirt and into her bra. I raised my eyebrows, wondering if she _really _thought I wouldn't go in there and get it.

"Just… Let's focus on Noah for an hour and then we'll call." She told me, a shot of guilt running through me as I realised we were sitting in the hospital waiting room, about to find out when our sick child could come home and all I wanted was to rush home to Harper.

"Rizzoli?" Noahs main doctor called out, Jane sighing quietly and taking my hand as we followed him to the NICU. I frowned as we approached, completely confused as to why we were headed straight to see Noah rather than going to his office to discuss his progress.

I hated the NICU. I hated the beeping of the machines that you knew were keeping a baby alive. The whole room smelt more sterile than any other part of the hospital and I never found the nerve to make eye contact with any of the other parents in the room. The first time I had come into this room there was a woman sobbing next to an empty crib; never again will my eyes wander from our sons face when we're in this room.

"Maura he…" Jane started, her grip on my hand tightening as her brow pulled together, her eyes fixated on our little boy in front of us. I looked down at him with wide eyes, a lump forming in my throat at the sight before me. The doctor smiled from beside me, placing a hand gently on my back reassuringly.

"We lowered his oxygen intake from the machines this morning and his vitals stayed perfect, so we lowered it again, and again, and again until it was completely off and he has been doing fantastic." I reached into the incubator, placing my finger in Noahs palm until he squeezed it. His eyes opened slowly until they were staring straight into my own, the bright green eyes before me causing a gush of air to escape my lungs.

"Can I hold him?" I asked, my heart racing in my chest as Noah continued to stare straight into my eyes, never looking away or loosening his grip on my finger. The doctor nodded from beside me, popping the lid off of the incubator and placing a thermal blanket around Noah before he stepped away, letting me lift Noah into my arms for the first time.

"Hi little man." Jane cooed from beside me, gently stroking his hair as I pulled him close against my body, my heart racing as I pressed my lips gently against his face for the first time. I felt something in that moment I had never felt before. My heart had never beat so fast, my brain had never felt so clear and my body had never felt so calm. This was it. This was the feeling I had been waiting for; I was complete. Our family was complete.

The blonde hair on the top of his head was growing at the same rate Harpers was, and there was no denying they had the same nose and cheek bones. If genders weren't a thing, I would assume that I was holding Harper. He was perfect. He was more perfect than I had ever imagined him to be. I noticed how much lighter than his twin he felt, but I pushed the worried thought from my head as I swayed him gently, his green eyes bearing into mine as I did so. I wonder if he knew who I was. I had no doubt he knew exactly who Jane was; she had been ever almost every day.

"When can we take him home?" I asked, finally tearing my eyes away from Noahs eyes to meet the doctors warm, smiling face before me. Jane gently took Noah from my arms, cooing quietly to him as I gave the doctor all of my attention.

"His temperature has still been a little low, but I'm hopeful in saying you could probably take him home on Saturday." My breath caught in my throat at his words. I had anticipated us having a week, maybe two, to get ourselves more situated and ready to bring him home but three days? We had _three _days until he was at home and no longer with doctors all the time?

"You can bring his sister in to meet him before you take him home if you'd like." The doctor suggested, my heart racing even more as I tried to imagine what it was going to be like to no longer be able to ask Jane to hold Harper when my arms were sore, or when I needed to use the bathroom. We were both going to be on full time mommy duty from now on.

"How is that even… He was so…" Jane frowned; nodding toward the incubator our son had called home for the first five weeks of his life. The doctor pursed his lips, nodding in understand at Janes unfinished sentences.

"You have a little fighter on your hands."

xxxxxxxxxx

**I am SO sorry this is a short chapter and it took me so long to write! I've been suffering major writers block trying to get through this chapter but fear not; my writing passion is back and I'll be updating much more frequently! Next chapter will be a long one so stay posted!**


	14. Six Weeks Old (Part 1)

**Six Weeks Old**

**Mauras POV  
**"I am feeling painfully anxious about this." I whispered to Jane truthfully as she lifted the empty green baby carrier out of the car, placing it on the ground beside her feet as she started to unclip Harper from her car seat.

Jane carefully lifted Harper into her arms, one hand supporting her neck as she walked towards me, placing our daughter gently into my awaiting arms. I smiled down at her as I placed my handbag back into the passenger's seat of my car. I don't know why I had thought bringing a handbag would be a good idea when we would have _two _babies and baby bags to carry out of this hospital today.

"You get to meet your brother today, boo." Jane told Harper as she closed the car door, locking it behind her as she made her way to where we stood, taking Harper out of my arms again and placing her in her own lilac carrier we had bought with us. I let Jane carry her, both of us knowing fine well that I wasn't going to be able to keep my hands off Noah once we were inside.

"You told your mother we weren't doing family dinner tonight, right?" I clarified with my wife whose suddenly wide eyes told me that she had completely forgotten. I rolled my eyes at her, softly nudging her playfully though inside I was dreading going home to our whole family waiting for us. Our little boy was yet to be introduced to much of the family formally and I can't imagine meeting a whole loud family at once will be very calming for him.

We had spent the past week trying to prepare all we needed for another baby coming into the mix, but I knew no amount of organising or planning would ever truly prepare us for what we were about to experience. I had forced myself to stop picking Harper up and cuddling her anytime she made any sort of noise and Jane had begun spending more and more time feeding Harper rather than allowing me to do it every time. We were trying to divide our time between our two babies before they were even both in our home.

"I don't want her to feel jealous." I told Jane as we made our way up to the NICU, my hand automatically making its way to softly brush against Harpers sleeping face as I spoke.

"She has two mommies who adore her and now she'll have a brother to play with." Jane assured me with a sweet smile. She leant closer to me, brushing a loose strand of hair away from my face before she pressed feather light kisses to my cheek. I couldn't fight the smile that found its way onto my lips as I turned to face her, her lips capturing mine in a sweet, soft kiss. Her tongue traced my bottom lip as the sound of the elevator arriving at our level broke us apart, a quiet sigh escaping Janes mouth as we separated. It had been_ too _long.

I was right; the second I laid eyes on Noahs sleeping body in his incubator my arms outstretched towards him. I hesitated when I noted how small he still looked, pursing my lips before I turned to a nurse who was watching on with a warm smile on her young face. She nodded at me encouragingly as she made her way to where we stood, placing a hand on my back reassuringly. I placed Noahs carrier on the bench beside his crib as the nurse removed the plastic cover that was separating us.

"He's ready to go home." She confirmed, all three of us looking down on our perfect boy sleeping completely peacefully before us. I turned my head to look at Jane, smiling excitedly across at her as the realisation that our family was going to be over washed over my body. "Are you planning on doing the introductions here?" The nurse asked, looking down at Harper who was also fast asleep, still comfortable and rugged up in her carrier.

"If they're both sleeping I think we'll just do it when we get home." Jane said, looking at me with raised eyebrows as she spoke, trying to decipher if that was the right thing to do. I had accidentally woken Harper up from a nap last week and our little girl had made me pay for it by screaming all afternoon. Waking either of our babies up seemed like the absolute worse thing we could do at this point.

"Has he been on any specific feeding schedule?" I asked the nurse, pursing my lips as I realised I had left my notepad in my handbag. Jane sat down on the chair beside Noahs bed as the nurse browsed through our sons file, nodding every now and again before she looked up at me.

"Let me go grab Noahs doctor; he'll be able to tell you more than I can." I was a doctor, I knew exactly what that meant. There was something in that file that she, as a nurse, was not allowed to tell us. I knew that nurses fed the babies so she shouldn't have even needed to look at his file to know what time he's been feeding.

"I want to go home." I told Jane nervously, looking down at our son who hadn't moved since we arrived. I couldn't handle watching him just lay there so still any longer. My eyes darted around the room, noting there were no longer any nurses around before I lifted him into my arms. He made a quiet groaning sound but kept his eyes closed as he settled against my chest, my body rocking slowly side to side to ensure I didn't disturb him too much.

"Good morning ladies." The doctors loud voice came from the doorway, Noah jumping slightly in my arms. I tightened my grip on his small body, holding him closer to my chest protectively. The doctor pulled the blanket that our little boy was wrapped in away from his chin so he could clearly see his face. I kept my eyes on the doctors face, watching and noting all his micro expressions; none of which set off alarm bells in my head.

"He's ready to come home, yeah?" Jane clarified from the chair, her hand resting on Harpers legs. I had started to notice that whenever Jane wasn't _holding _Harper; she had a hand on her. When I was feeding our little girl, Janes hand would be resting on her back. When I burped Harper, Janes hand would lightly hold hers. When I was rocking Harper to sleep, Janes hand would gently touch our daughters face when she was close enough. I couldn't imagine anything bad ever happening to either of these babies so long as Jane was around.

"He is, there is just one little thing we need to talk about." I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat at the doctors words, my hand tightening against Noahs back protectively as Jane stood up and stood beside me, stretching her arm backwards to keep physical contact with Harper. "There is a_ very _good chance it will never happen; but due to the lack of oxygen to his brain during his birth, you may encounter seizures during his life." My eyes widened, my heart racing in my chest as everything I knew about seizures went flying out of my brain.

"What do we do if…" Jane started, taking a deep breath as she let go of Harper and rested her hand on my lower back as a sign of support. The doctor nodded in understanding, pulling out a pamphlet and handing to my wife who frowned down at the picture of a baby lying on it's side. So we were supposed to learn how to deal with our baby potentially seizing from a _pamphlet? _No. When we got home I had every intention of finding the best course available and I would be forcing the **whole **family to take it.

"Are you ready to go home?" I asked Noah quietly while Jane continued asking questions and taking notes about what feeding schedule out little boy had been on while he was in hospital. I carefully placed him in his carrier; trying not to panic at how much smaller than his twin he looked. "Mommy won't let anything happen to you."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"What if they hate each other?" I asked Jane with a frown as we sat on the sofa looking down at our two babies sleeping in their respective carriers on the living room floor. She nudged me playfully before placing light kisses on my shoulder, a quiet sigh escaping my lips as I let myself drown in the feeling of complete bliss I felt. I had my beautiful, incredible wife beside me and our two babies healthy and home. Could things ever get better than this?

"Sometimes they will hate each other." Jane told me, resting her head on the back of the sofa as I leaned into her, resting my head in the centre of her chest for comfort. "But they'll love each other to death." She added, a small smile playing on my lips as we continued to look down at our two favourite people.

"Thank you for being so wonderful." I whispered, turning my head so I could place a light kiss on Janes lips. We both melted into the kiss, our foreheads soon resting on each other as we tried to fight the urge to take the kiss to the next level.

Noah was the first to stir, a small frown making its way onto his otherwise perfect face as he started to wriggle around in his seat. I took a deep breath before Jane and I both climbed off the sofa and sat on the floor in front of the babies. Jane and I looked across at each other, both of us smiling nervously as we unclipped the babies before us. I lifted a sleep Noah into my arms, instantly covering his pale face in kisses.

"Good afternoon." Jane whispered to Harper whose eyes opened the second Jane picked her up, a small frown making its way onto her face when she realised we had woken her up. Jane looked up at me, turning Harper around in her arms so she was facing Noah and I. "There's someone you have to meet." Jane told our little girl as she gently bobbed her up and down in her arms, Harpers eyes fixated on the bundle in my arms.

"Hi you." I whispered down to Noah as his eyes slowly opened, the frown still apparent on his face as he tried to adjust to the light in the room. I carefully turned him around to face his sister, both of their eyes meeting the second they were able to. Jane and I sat there quietly, waiting for the babies to react before we did. "Who's that?" I asked quietly, pressing a light kiss to Noahs ear, Harpers eyes not leaving her brothers for even a second as I spoke.

It felt like hours that we were just sat there holding our babies, letting them become familiar with each other's faces before Noah started throwing his legs and arms around excitedly. Jane was beaming down at him, her eyes starting to water as she got the first view of our baby boys first smile.

"Is that your sister?!" Jane asked him excitedly, a huge smile on her face as she scooted closer with Harper still happily sitting in her lap. A few quiet moments passed before a huge smile broke out on Harpers face followed by an ear piercingly sweet squeal of excitement. Janes smile faded as she watched Noah carefully, expecting him to be terrified by the sudden sound but before I knew it he was jumping around in my arms excitedly again.

"What is happening?" I asked with a giggle as our babies continued smiling and squealing at each other. Jane kept her eyes focused on Noah, a smile on her lips as she shook her head. Neither of us had ever predicted they would be so excited to see each other.

"I don't think we have to ever worry about them hating each other." Jane told me, her face full of love as she looked up at me. A quiet knock on the front door reminded me that Jane had failed to cancel the family dinner we had every Sunday night and I let out a quiet groan. I could have sat here and watched our babies love each other forever.


	15. Six Weeks Old (Part 2)

**Six Weeks Old  
(Part 2)**

I sat comfortably on the sofa breastfeeding Noah for the first time while Angela cuddled up with Harper, covering our little girl in sweet kisses. I could hear Jane quietly working in the kitchen, cooking our first Sunday family dinner that really would consist of the _whole _family. I tried not to let myself become overwhelmed by the thought of not only so many people being in our house with our fragile babies, but knowing they were going to be passed around like footballs.

I had no doubt they were safe, that was never in doubt. Every member of our extended family completely worshipped our little miracles. It was more the thought that I wouldn't be able to have at least one of them in my arms at all times that was making me nervous. Noah had _just _come home from the hospital today. I had barely had the chance to spend time with him before I would have to share him with the whole family.

I looked down at his young face; his eyes wide open and staring back into mine. His tiny fingers were gripping at my hair that fell by his face as he made quiet sucking noises. I couldn't suppress the smile that found its way onto my face away as I brushed his hair completely away from his face. His eyes never left mine as he continued tugging on my blonde locks. I flinched slightly as a few strands came loose from my head and stayed in his fingers. I sighed quietly, shaking my head at him though the smile stayed planted on my face.

"You think you're funny, don't you?" I asked him in a hushed whisper, a sudden smile coming onto his lips as he looked up at me. It was clear he was finished eating, but there was no chance I was ready to burp him and hand him off to his grandmother just yet. "You're cheeky," I pointed out, tracing the slight dimple on his cheek as he continued smiling up at me. I detached him from my boob and covered myself up, pulling his tiny body up toward my face so I could kiss his dimple the way Jane was always kissing mine.

"Hey, babe. I've been thinking…" Jane's voice came from behind me suddenly, forcing both Noah and I out of the little world we had found ourselves completely immersed in. I carefully placed him over my shoulder, patting his back as I started to burp him. "Maybe we should talk about re-homing Bass and Jo." My eyes widened at Jane's words, Angela looking up from Harper to examine my face.

"What? Why on earth would we want to do that?" I questioned her, my eyes automatically moving to the sleeping dog in the corner of the room. Jo had her head resting on one of the toys Frankie had gotten for Harper when she came out of the hospital, and I started to see what she was referring to.

"Just with two babies around the house; it's not exactly sanitary. Plus we are going to have our hands full. Don't you think they deserve a home where they can be loved all the time?" I knew what she was saying made sense, and the longer I looked down at Jo resting her not-so-clean fur on Harper's belongings, the more I wanted to agree with her.

"I understand getting rid of Jo, but Bass…" I pouted up at my wife who smiled down at me empathetically, placing a hand on the top of my head as she leant down and kissed the side of my face just as Noah let out a quiet burp. "I have had him for a really, _really _long time. I'm not willing to get rid of him just like that, Jane."

"The turtle does keep to himself, Janie." Angela agreed, and I decided that since she was on my side, I wouldn't chastise her for referring to Bass as a turtle. I knew that before long Angela would be asking to swap babies so she could spend some time with her grandson, so I held him closer to my chest and rocked him; hoping if he fell asleep she wouldn't want to disturb him.

"Hello!" Frankie announced loudly as he walked through the front door, shutting it loudly behind him, causing both of the babies to begin to whimper. Harper had six weeks to get used to her uncle barging in and announcing himself but for Noah, this was a first. Within seconds his loud, scared cry echoed through the living room. Jane reached for our little boy, cradling him close to her chest as she shot Frankie a glare. I was sure that Jane was so insistent on holding Noah in order to stop herself from hitting him.

"I hate you." Jane growled at him, rocking from side to side as Frankie held up his hands apologetically looking down at his nephew. My arms suddenly felt extremely empty as I sat beside Angela, who was quietly calming Harper back down by blowing raspberries on her stomach. Never in my life had I ever really been a jealous person; but seeing Harper smile up at her grandmother as she kissed her stomach sent shocks of envy through my body.

"Can I hold him?" Frankie asked Jane nervously as she looked across at the kitchen, noting how much more work she had to do before dinner would be anywhere near ready. I bit down on my bottom lip, completely aware that this was the first person apart from Jane or I who would be holding our little boy. I looked on anxiously as Jane shifted Noah into her brothers arms, his neck completely supported the whole time.

"Be careful," Jane warned him with a smirk before she made her way back to the kitchen, leaving Frankie standing in the dining room with Noah cradled in his arms. The anxiety in my chest wouldn't settle until Frankie was sitting down and not moving around with our little boy; I had no doubt.

"Come here," I told him, shifting closer to Angela so I could be between both of the babies – that way I could keep a careful eye on them both. Everything inside me knew I was being overly cautious and that I was hovering, but my body physically couldn't move from that sofa.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"I cannot remember the last time I was this tired," Jane admitted as we sat side by side on the living room floor, looking at the scattered toys TJ and the babies had left everywhere. Noah and Harper were happily sitting in their own rockers watching an old DVR baseball game and we were cherishing the quiet while it lasted.

"2004. It was the day of my last medical internship and I had to work two double shifts. _That_ is the last time I was this tired," I responded, my whole body feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the mere memory of how exhausted I was that day. If I could go back and do medical school over again; I can't say that I would.

"Should we give them a bath at the same time?" Jane asked, her eyes closed as she leant her head against the couch behind us. I smiled across at her, noting the dimple that seemed to always be on her cheek even when she wasn't smiling. Noah had the exact same dimple.

"I'll take a shower with Harper and while I'm putting her to bed, you bathe Noah." Jane nodded, giving me the thumbs-up but not bothering to open her eyes. I moved onto my knees, pressing a kiss to my wife's dimple the way I had with Noah earlier before I forced myself to my feet.

"You, my beautiful girl, are coming with me," I told Harper who looked up at me with a bewildered expression, clearly wondering why I was tearing her away from her beloved baseball. Too many mornings I had caught Jane trying to teach our baby girl the rules of her favourite sport. If my wife thought I would ever let either of our babies anywhere _near _a baseball bat; she had another thing coming.

I held Harper against my chest with my right arm while I turned the nozzles on the shower, my hand lingering under the water as I waited for it to warm up. I turned to the counter and placed our little girl down on the changing mat we always seemed to have ready to go. Harper frowned up at me, seeming to understand what was about to happen. I rubbed my hands together as fast as I could, knowing that the second my cold hands touched her body she would start to scream.

"It's not a bath," I promised her, earning raised eyebrows and a small smile in return as I slipped her baby onesie over her head, tossing it half-heartedly into the washing basket before I removed her nappy; thankful to find it dry and empty. Harper was a shower baby. When you had her in your arms in the shower, she was happy. She would smile and let you wash her hair but the _second _you placed her in the bathtub, you had a very unhappy little girl on your hands.

I quickly stripped out of my clothes, my eyes never leaving Harper before I lifted her into my arms, opening the shower door and stepping under the warm water with my little girl. It was nowhere near as hot as I would have had it if I was in there alone, but it was good enough.

"You're my number one girl," I told her as I gently bobbed her up and down, dipping her head completely under the shower head every now and again to make sure her whole body got wet. "I love you," I reminded her, pressing light kisses to her head as I placed my hand underneath the automatic shampoo dispenser Hope had gotten us before I began washing her hair awkwardly with my free hand.

After ten minutes of merely lingering under the hot water, we got out and made our way to the bedroom. Harper was completely covered with a towel that was shaped to make her look like a duck, and anytime I looked down at her I couldn't help but giggle. She was perfect.

I placed her in the centre of the bed, turning the heater on to ensure the room was warm enough for her as I quickly dried my body, hearing the sound of Jane turning the bathtub on as I did so. I pulled on a pair of Jane's red and black pyjama pants and paired it with a simple black singlet before I started digging through Harper's drawer.

I pulled out her onesie that read _Prize Winning Swimmer _with a ridiculous picture of a cartoon sperm on the front of it. Jane had laughed harder than I had ever seen when Tommy gave it to us; I figured it was only fair I let one of our babies wear it at least once.

I sat cross legged on the mattress in front of our little girl, smiling down at her apologetically as I gently started to dry her body. I put her nappy on and sighed as I looked down at the embarrassing item of clothing I was about to subject her to. _It was only to sleep in,_ I reminded myself.

"Blame your uncle Tommy for this," I told her as I pulled the piece of clothing over her head, pursing my lips as I buttoned it up around her nappy. I placed both my hands over my mouth as I gazed down at Harper, who had an adorably sweet smile as she looked up at me; clueless as to what she looked like. I let out a giggle and bent down towards her, kissing her tiny lips before I started stretching her legs.

I gently moved them in every direction they could before I switched to her arms, repeating the motions until she started to whine at me; yawning silently as she stretched her legs out.

"Do you want to do yoga with mommy tomorrow?" I asked her, earning a frown in response. There was no doubt; she was Jane's daughter.


	16. Eight Weeks Old

**Eight Weeks Old**

I woke to an empty bedroom. In the past two weeks I had not _once _woken to an empty bed, let alone an empty bedroom. I shot out of the bed, carefully pulling the blankets out of both Noah and Harpers bassinets; panic setting in when neither of them were anywhere to be found. My heart began to beat harder than it ever had before, a full blown panic attack starting to accumulate in my chest as I stared down at the empty cribs.

"Jane!" I screamed, my voice echoing in the bedroom as I rushed to the wardrobe, grabbing the first pair of shorts I could and pulling them onto my legs as Jane came running into the room with wide eyes, baby vomit on her shirt. We stood there staring at each other; both of us clearly trying to figure out what was going on. Jane was the first one to speak.

"Tommy and Ma are downstairs…" She started, watching me with wary eyes as she spoke. "They bought TJ over to play with the kids…" She continued, tilting her head to the left slightly as I continued taking sharp breaths, my heart starting to slow in my chest at the realisation that they babies were downstairs; with our family.

"They're okay?" I asked in a whispered voice. Jane nodded slowly, frowning slightly as she silently tried to figure out what was going on in my head. Before I had the chance to explain; I was sobbing. My hands grabbed at my chest, my head falling forward as I tried to calm myself down. There was no logical reason for my tears, yet no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get them to stop.

"Maura." Jane chuckled empathetically as she wrapped her arms around my torso, pressing kisses to my shoulder blades as she waited for my body to stop shaking. After a few more minutes of violent sobbing; my breathing slowly started to regulate. "I didn't want to wake you." Jane apologised, a small pout on her face when I pulled away and wiped the left over tears off of my face.

"This was me over reacting." I realised, sighing loudly as I placed both my hands on my hips, shaking my head at my own ridiculous over the top reaction. How had I not assumed Jane had merely woken up before me? Why did my mind automatically assume that the worst had happened?

"No, you're a mommy." Jane said with a warm smile as she placed her arms back around my waist. I rolled my eyes at her, looking down at the stain on her shirt with a playful smirk as I dropped my hands from my hips.

"So are you." I giggled, wondering which of our darling children had spit up their morning milk on Jane's favourite pyjama top. Jane shrugged her shoulders casually, both of us knowing this was not the first, and would not be the last, time she had one of our babies bodily fluids on her clothing.

"Ma remembered that the babies have their vaccines today and she sort of wants to come." Jane warned me, pursing her lips as she waited for a reaction. During my pregnancy I had more than happily included Angela in _everything._ For some reason, the second those beautiful little babies came into the world, that all changed. I kept them all to myself and never wanted Angela, or anyone else, anywhere near us when it came to things like this. That was going to have to change.

"Of course she can come." I responded with a forced smile, wondering which of my precious babies I wouldn't get to hold for much of the day. I pulled away from Jane gently; pulling the first sweater I placed my hands on over my body and made my way toward the bedroom door, suddenly aching to seeing our little girl and our little boy.

"There's another thing…" Jane started, shifting awkwardly on her feet. I frowned at her from where I stood, crossing my arms across my chest as I waited for her to continue. "She wants to have the baptism discussion…" I groaned loudly, throwing my head back and dropping my arms dramatically by my side.

"It's a discussion you and I should be having, Jane. Not you, your mother and I." I told her with a frown, her eyebrows rose as she pulled the best _I'm sorry please don't yell at me _face.

"It's just a talk, sweetheart." Jane responded, walking over to me and wrapping her arms around my waist again, burying her head in my neck as she left a trail of kisses along my jaw line. I let out a quiet sigh as I tried to keep my eyes open, my hands balling into fists as I resisted the urge to scratch down her back.

"Fine." I groaned, my head falling back in order to give her better access to my neck, her teeth catching my pulse point and pinching softly. A small moan escaped my lips as my eyes betrayed me; drifting closed while my hands made their way up her ruined shirt.

"We should probably…" Jane's sentence trailed into silence as I dug my nails into her back, dragging down hard enough that I _knew _she would feel it all day. She moaned quietly in my ear, my lips pursing hard as I tried to suppress my own. "I want you." She admitted, a gush of air escaping my mouth at the sound of her words as I pulled her shirt off and discarded it on the floor.

"Jane." I moaned, my brow furrowing at the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Jaaaane!" Tommy's voice echoed through the bedroom, Jane and I not moving an inch as he walked into the room, covering his eyes with both of his hands before he spoke again. "Uh, so I may have been letting Harp ride on Bass' back and…" My eyes shot open, turning to face my brother in law suspiciously.

"What happened?" Jane groaned, stepping away from me and taking a deep breath as Tommy peaked between his fingers to ensure we were no longer touching one another. Tommy smiled at my apologetically, nodding towards the stairs. We clearly weren't getting any hints as to what was going on.

The sight before us when we got to the bottom of the stairs was unlike anything I had ever seen. Jane had left Tommy alone with the babies for _ten _minutes and they both had a pacifier in their mouths (something we had worked tirelessly to ensure they never got used to,) and Noah was lying wide awake staring at the ceiling as his automatic rocker moved far faster than it ever should have been

That wasn't even the worst of it. The worst came when I looked down at Bass, whose entire shell was covered in baby vomit. I felt my eyes widen at the sight of my precious tortoise, his head buried deep in his shell as he, undoubtedly, was wondering what the weird smelling substance dripping down his shell was.

"Where's Ma?" Jane asked through gritted teeth as she lifted Noah out of his rocker. I made my way to the kitchen silently, grabbing a tea towel and running it under warm water. I knew Jane was about to rip into her brother; all I had to do was tidy up.

"She went to get ready…" Tommy responded, his eyes carefully watching Jane while I made my way to Harper, lifting her into my arms and wiping away the small amount of vomit that had been left on her bare chest.

"Why isn't she wearing a shirt?" I questioned as I made my way toward Jane who placed Noah in my free arm, a frown on my face as I tried to comprehend at what point he took off her shirt but didn't bother to clean her up any further. "Can you tidy up Bass for me?" I asked Jane, not waiting for an answer before I began climbing the staircase.

I barely made it up three steps before I heard a loud smack that I knew was Jane telling off her brother. It was going to be a long day. I lay both the babies out on the bed and looked down at their clueless faces and instantly felt better.

"Will you hate mommy if she dresses you the same?" I asked them, pursing my lips as Harper grinned up at me. Dressing the babies had fast become one of my favourite things to do, especially when I could make them match in some way. Nothing made me happier than when people stopped me on the street to comment on how clever their outfits were.

I pulled a set of onesies out of their top drawer that read _Drinking Buddies, _each coupled with a cartoon bottle on the front_. _It would have been far more factually correct if there was a photo of my breasts on them, but Jane had warned me that was nowhere near socially acceptable.

"Who's going to be the cutest set of twins in the whole world today?" I asked the twins, looking down at their blank expressions. Sometimes it really felt like Bass understood me more than my own babies did sometimes.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

There had been no doubt in my mind that today was going to be stressful, but as Angela, Jane, Harper, Noah and I sat in the waiting room at the doctor's office I felt an odd surge of calm. I knew the babies were both going to strongly disapprove of their eight week needles, but everything inside of me knew this was going to protect them against more things in the world that were out to get them; and that made me happy.

"Jane tells me you would like to discuss potentially having the children baptised?" I asked Angela in a quiet voice as I gently rocked a sleeping Harper in my arms. I figured that while I was in a happy, relaxed mood; this was the time to have this discussion.

"Well it's just that you aren't religious, in any way." Angela pointed out. Jane and I sat quietly, expecting her to continue. "But Jane was baptised and we went to church when she…"

"But Jane hasn't been to church in almost… Ten years." I pointed out, turning to Jane who gave me a small nod in approval at the time frame. Angela frowned past me at her daughter who shifted back in her seat as she began cooing at Noah in her lap.

"But you aren't religious." Angela repeated, the frown that was no doubt making its way onto my face deepening in annoyance over the fact I could not understand what she meant with her simple statement.

"So because I'm not religious I shouldn't have a say in if my children are baptised?" I asked in a short voice as I began to piece it all together. Jane seemed to catch onto the change of tone in my voice, standing up and handing Noah to her mother as a form of distraction.

"Of course that's not what I'm saying!" Angela exclaimed, Janes eyes shifting awkwardly to the other families around the room whose eyes were beginning to drift in our direction. "I'm just saying that I don't understand why you're opposed because you're not religious."

"Ma…" Jane said quietly, her voice thick with warning as she glared down at her mother.

"Do _you _want to baptise them?" I asked, turning to look up at Jane now as I tried to keep my voice quiet. The last thing any of us needed was to wake up Harper before she needed to wake up.

"Um…" Jane started nervously, her eyes coming to rest on her mother's as though she were a five year old girl not quite sure what the right answer to my question was. I had just assumed that because Jane had never, not through my pregnancy or otherwise, ever mentioned to me that she would be interested in having our children baptised; that she agreed with my opinion.

"Jane! Why didn't you say anything?!" I hissed, kicking one of my heeled feet out to knock the side of her leg. Harper began groaning quietly in my arms, and the apologetic smile on my wife's face told me she was thankful I couldn't chastise her right now.

"When we asked Cailin to be godmother… You knew that meant they would have to be baptised." Jane pointed out, causing my eyebrows to rise. I had completely forgotten about Cailin.

"Rizzoli?" A doctor called, a loud sigh escaping my mouth as we all stood up and made our way to where the man was standing. It was only once we were inside the room did I recall why we were here today.

"Jane, take her." I whispered, gesturing to our little girl who was still fast asleep in my arms. There was no chance I was going to be able to hold our daughter down while the doctor stuck a needle in her arm, not even if it was for the best of reasons.

We decided to let Noah have his injections first seeing as he was awake and staring at the shiny object in the doctors hand, completely unaware of what was about to happen to him. I placed both my hands on my face as I watched Angela turn Noah in her lap so he was facing away from the man. His brow furrowed as the sharp needle pushed into his skin, but to my surprise there were no tears or screams.

"Give her back." I hissed at Jane, taking Harper back out of her arms and waking her up, assuming she would react to the needle much like her twin had. "Hi bubby!" I exclaimed happily, a small smile playing on our little girls lips as she struggled to keep her eyes open in my lap. The needle went in and out in a matter of three seconds, her brow furrowing exactly like Noahs did. Only after three seconds did the screaming come.

Her scream was unlike anything I had ever heard. I pulled her up to my chest, cradling her against my body as I stood up and started pacing the room, tears burning behind my eyes as her scream turned silent. She had tears running down her cheeks and her mouth was hanging open but no sound come from her small body.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered to her, just as another loud scream of pain came from our little girl. I felt tears burning behind my eyes as Jane sat with the doctor, filling out the babies' two month check-up book and answering any questions the doctor had.

"Here." Angela's voice came from beside me as tears slowly began to trickle down my left cheek. Noah was now perched happily in Janes lap, which gave Angela the ability to remove Harper from my arms and begin rocking her in her own way.

It only took Angela a further two minutes to calm her granddaughter down enough to get her smiling and it occurred to me for the first time how irrational I was being in relation to having the kids baptised. Angela had raised three incredible children and there was no chance she would ever suggest something she didn't think was in the babies' best interest.

"Do you have any questions Maur?" Jane asked me, nodding toward the doctor as she placed the babies' books back into the nappy bag. I shook my head, smiling at the man apologetically for my behaviour.

"I do want to have our babies baptised though." I said quietly, my eyes focused on Angela's as I spoke.


	17. Three Months Old

**Three Months Old**

I stood quietly staring out the window in our living room, the sound of thunder reverberating through the house as I slowly rocked my body side to side. Harper was happily lying in my arms; her eyes watching the rain begin to fall in our front garden with her thumb in her mouth. I had picked a hell of a day to try and venture out with the babies on my own.

"Just let me help you." Jane groaned in frustration as I snatched the nappy bag she was holding out of her hands, slinging it over my shoulder before I made my way to the car. I completely ignored her while I buckled Harper into her car seat, placing the bag on the floor in front of her before I made my way back toward the house.

"You go back to work in three days. Jane, I need to learn how to do this alone." I reminded her in a quiet voice as I lifted Noah from his rocker. My wife watched me hesitantly, biting down on her bottom lip as I made my way out the front door. I buckled Noah into his respective car seat as a drop of rain landed on the back of my neck sending a shot of shivers through my body.

"What if I come but don't help…" Jane suggested as I closed the car door, placing my hands on my hips as I smiled across at her with the most calming smile I could muster up on my face.

"I'm just going to pick up their Halloween outfits. I'll be an hour; two at the most." I promised, placing my hands on either side of her face before I pressed my lips against hers. I felt her sigh into the kiss, her hands moving to rest against my lower back, holding me in place when I began to pull away.

"Did you grab the pram rain cover thing?" Jane asked when she finally let me go, a small smirk playing on her lips as she snuck in one last kiss. I nodded, walking backwards towards the car. I blew her a kiss as I climbed into the driver's seat; my heart starting to race at the realisation I that this was the first time I was going to be alone with both the babies.

I could hear both of the babies cooing quietly to one another, and every now and again I caught a glimpse of one of them seeming to reach their hand out to the other. There was no doubt that these babies loved each other, that's for sure.

"Which one of you wants to be the lion, huh?" I asked them as we pulled into the dress maker's car park. Jane and I had argued endlessly about what to dress the twins as for their first Halloween. She had insisted that we dress them as Thing One and Thing Two from the Cat In The Hat. I had failed to see any humour behind her suggestion, so we had decided to go with something sweet instead of comedic.

Dressing them in matching outfits had been my favourite part of having twins; but the older they got the more individuality I had hoped to give them. I didn't want to raise them thinking that they always had to match or do things together. They were twins; but they were their own people.

"I need you to be really good for mommy, okay?" I bargained with Harper as I lifted her out of the car seat and into the pram. I could imagine Jane pacing the living room at home anxiously waiting for us to come home, and the mere thought was enough to make me speed up the process of getting our babies back to their mamma.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Why did you take so long?" Jane asked impatiently, taking Harper out of her car seat while I lifted Noah into my own arms. I rolled my eyes at her question. I should have known that even being a minute longer than two hours would have caused some sort of panic.

"I had to feed them." I shrugged, not wanting to go into detail about how irritating and exasperating it is trying to feed two babies in the backseat of a car, especially when you're trying to do it between two car seats.

I sat down on the sofa once we were inside, placing Noah on the floor in front of me with his sister joining him moments later. I didn't want to admit to Jane just how gruelling taking the babies out alone was; but my eyes fighting to stay open gave me away.

"I have a little surprise for you." Jane whispered, standing before me. I forced my eyes open, looking up at her suspiciously as she picked Noah up from the floor. She placed her index finger up toward me, signalling for me to wait patiently for her to return.

Having twins generally meant nothing was ever done when it should have been. It was Halloween in a week and I only today picked up their outfits. We still had to sort out what Jane and I were going to wear, I was exhausted and the absolute last thing I felt like doing was sitting around waiting for Jane to surprise me with something.

I stood up and decided I wasn't going to just sit there and wait. Yoga; yoga always made me feel better. I did a few quick stretches before I moved to hover over Harper, bending at my hips and placing my hands by her head. I closed my eyes and took three deep breaths; letting the immediate calm that came over me take over.

It lasted all but five minutes before Harper got a grip on my pony tail, pulling hard and putting my hair in her mouth. I groaned loudly, carefully removing my hair from her little hand before I fell back on the couch. My eyes drifted shut up, my scalp pulsating.

"Are you ready?" I heard Jane call from the bottom of the stairs. I forced my eyes opened and just nodded, having no doubt her head was sticking out from behind the wall looking at me. I pursed my lips, my eyebrows furrowing together in confusion as she placed Noah on the ground in front of me. "He's a turtle!" Jane exclaimed excitedly, clapping her hands together. Noah pushed up off his hands so he could look back at his other mother.

"What…" I started; seeming a loss of words as I looked down at Noah dressed in a tortoise costume. The bright green shell was sparkling back at me as I tried to understand what exactly was going on.

"Because he loves Bass…" Jane started, gesturing toward me hoping I would hurry up and share her excitement over our son dressed as my beloved spurred tortoise.

"But I thought we agreed he was going to be a lion for Halloween?" I questioned, my head dropping to left as I looked down at him; wondering if I had wasted my time by going out this morning. Just as Jane opened her mouth to speak; Angela came through the front door. I instantly noted the redness in her eyes.

"Ma?" Jane asked quickly, obviously seeing before her exactly what I did. Harper started to fuss from her place on the floor, so I lifted her onto my hip and made our way over to where Angela stood. I didn't hesitate to shift Harper into her grandmother's arms; Angela's eyes seeming to instantaneously soften as our little girl reached out and touched her face gently.

"You can't baptise the babies at our church." Jane directed her mother to the sofa as she spoke, picking Noah up and removing the shell attached to his back before placing him back down on his stomach. "Because…" Angela stopped, frowning as she looked down at Harper who was grinning up at her.

"Because we're both women." Jane realised, her eyes closing before she placed her head in her hands. I sat there awkwardly, not sure what the appropriate thing to say in the situation was. Did I apologise? Did I make a joke? I opted for silence. "Then we'll just do it at another church." Jane concluded, sighing quietly and placing a soothing hand on her mother's back.

"I wanted your children to be baptised in the same church you were." Angela responded, sniffling quietly. Harper frowned up at her, trying to understand why her grandmother looked so sad.

"I know, but that's not how it's going to play out." Jane smiled at her mother apologetically, clearly unsure of what else she could possibly say to make it okay. Nothing about it was ever going to be okay; our children were only three months old and they were already being discriminated against because of us.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Are you comfy?" I teased Jane when I came into the living room, placing the beer I had gotten from her on the coffee table. She smiled up at me sweetly, struggling to keep her eyes open as she held Harper on her chest. We had dressed her in the bear costume for Halloween to see be sure it fit and now we were struggling with wanting to take her out of it. Her eyes were utterly focused on the television, the pacifier in her mouth bobbing up and down as she sucked on it.

"Just until she falls asleep." Jane promised when she noticed me staring at the green and white thing in our little girl's mouth. I nodded slowly, lifting Jane's legs and placing them over my thighs as I settled in with my two favourite girls.

"You should follow your brother's lead." I told Harper whose eyes barely shifted away from the television as I spoke to her. Noah was a fantastic sleeper. He took two naps a day and slept nine hours through the night. We assumed he was sleeping so much because he was going through a growth spurt but Harper? We were lucky if she took _one _nap a day and even luckier if she slept more than eight hours through the night.

"It's your fault she's like this." Jane joked, chuckling quietly as she played with one of Harpers covered feet in her hands. I knew she was right. According to my mother the second I hit three months old, I stopped napping which, at the time I had found it amusing; though now I was living it, it suddenly didn't seem so funny.

"I miss you." I told Jane truthfully, and in less than five seconds Jane had stood up and was placing Harper down on her _Little Einstein _play mat. I couldn't contain the giggle that escaped my lips as she dropped back down on the sofa, turning to face me with a sweet smile that pleaded with me to kiss her.

"I love you." She told me softly as I leaned closer to her, pressing my lips tenderly against hers. I smiled at the taste of beer that remained on her lips; some things never changed. I had never been able to fully appreciate the taste of beer before. I had always found it bitter and far too strong, though the taste that lingered on Janes lips from the beer was always my favourite taste. Well, it was_ one_ of my favourite tastes in relation to my wife.

"We should go on a date." I suggested, pushing her hair away from her face so I could really look at her. It had been too long since I had been able to just... Look at her. I had never realised how much I had taken our free time for granted until right now.

"I could ask ma to watch the babies." She agreed, another sweet smile coming onto her lips at the suggestion. I looked down at Harper to ensure her eyes were still on the television before I leaned down and pressed a hard kiss against Jane's neck, letting my tongue escape my mouth and gently drag along her pulse point.

"Maybe she could watch them overnight." I heard a small moan escape Jane's lips at my words, and if we were as alike as I thought; we were both sincerely hoping Angela was home tonight.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**HI EVERYBODY! I just wanted to quickly thank you all for all the amazing support! I've put so much of my heart into this story, so hearing all your positive feedback is honestly so incredible. Thank you! If you have any suggestions for where you think this story should go; tell me!**


	18. Six Months Old

**Six Months Old**

"Maybe I should call just one more time…" I suggested, my hand quickly dipping into my handbag in a desperate attempt to find my cell phone before Jane took it away from me. I had dialled all but three of Angela's numbers before I realised my wife hadn't moved from her place across from me. I looked up at her suspiciously while she sipped on her beer.

"If you need to call again; you need to call again." She told me in a soft voice of understanding. I took a deep breath and closed my phone, trying to remind myself that there was a reason we had these weekly dates. "Thank you." She whispered when I slid my phone back into my handbag reluctantly.

Having a baby was hard, and I cannot imagine anyone ever telling you different. But having two babies? Having two babies got ridiculous sometimes. There was nights of endless fights between Jane and I over who should be bathed first, over who should be fed when and when each of us had to get up during the night. Having children tests your relationship, and Jane and I were not willing to ever let our romance fizzle out.

"Are you excited about going back to work?" She asked me, a frown making its way deep onto my face as she spoke. I had happily been living in denial about when I would have to go to work, but the closer the date got, the more I knew I had to start preparing. It wasn't only me who was going to have to adjust to not spending every day with the babies.

When they woke up from their naps, I was there. I gave them their lunch. I played with them. I changed them. I dressed them. That was _all _about to change. It was about to be a stranger at day care doing all these things for them. The mere thought made me sigh dramatically.

"It was hard for me to, but you'll find your rhythm again." Jane promised with a sympathetic smile as she pushed her long, black curls away from her striking face.

"Do you want to have more children?" I asked casually as I took another sip of the red wine that was sitting before me, a smile breaking out onto my lips as Janes face fell flat at my question.

"Why… What… Do you?" She asked me in disbelief, her eyes wide as though I was telling her I was pregnant. This was one of the pros of being married to Jane Rizzoli; No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get me pregnant. Sometimes I think she forgot that.

"Not right away, but one day I would like more children."

"Children? As in plural? Like more than one more baby?" I nodded at her words, not quite sure what about the suggestion was scaring her so much. She took a long sip of her beer, her eyes wide as she stared at me.

"I'm not talking about tomorrow." I reminded her with a playful giggle, leaning across the table to place a reassuring hand on hers, my thumb stroking the back of her hand in the most calming manor I could.

"Good because I'm only just learning how to be a mum to the babies we already have." She responded in a quiet, almost guilty, voice.

"I love you." I reminded her with an affectionate smile, lifting the wine glass in my hand to my lips and sipping it slowly, never breaking eye contact with Jane. She bought her beer bottle up to her lips again, purposefully taking the whole tip of the bottle into her mouth. It made a quiet yet familiar popping sound when she took it out, licking her lips slowly; all the while never breaking eye contact.

"Are you ready to go?" She asked, both of us needing nothing more than a bottle of wine, each other, and our bed. Angela had been a wonderful with spending endless time with her grandchildren one night a month, though it made me uncomfortable knowing that she more likely than not knew exactly what we were doing.

The drive back to the house was far longer than either of us liked and I started wondering why we left the house on date night at all. The second the front door was closed behind us, Jane pushed me backwards toward the kitchen counter, her lips on my instantly letting me know she felt exactly how I did.

She effortlessly lifted me up onto the kitchen counter, giggles escaping my mouth as all the bottles that were drying on the counter were knocked loudly to the ground. I knew it wouldn't be funny when I had to re-sterilise them all; but the babies were the furthest thing from my mind at the moment.

I pulled her shirt up over her head, tossing it across the kitchen while her lips worked their way along my jaw, gently biting down every now and again causing my loud moans to echo through the room.

"Sofa." I instructed her, earning nothing but a nod in response as she pulled me tight against her. I wrapped my legs around her hips in a practiced manor, knotting my hands in her hair and taking her lips in mine again as we made the short trip to the sofa.

When we were a mere three steps away from our destination, the sound of Jane standing on a squeaky baby toy rang thorough my ears. Her lips separated from mine just in time for her to mutter _fuck _before she tripped over another toy, our bodies crashing down onto the sofa awkwardly. We both stayed where we were on top of each other before we both started to laugh, Janes light chuckle echoing in my ear before she pressed her lips gently against my cheek.

She shifted off my lap, sighing quietly as she rested her head on the back of the sofa. Our heads both fell toward each other, small smiles playing on both our lips as we tried to figure out when this had become our lives.

"I am so tired." I admitted, earning another husky laugh from Jane who just nodded in agreement, placing a hand on my thigh reassuringly.

"Thank god because I am exhausted." It turns out being parents of twins made us more excited about a long night of cuddling and sleeping than it did about having sex; and I was perfectly okay with that.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

It turns out a lot can happen in six months. Our babies were sleeping through the night, they only fed twice a day and they were rolling over and sitting up like they had been doing it their whole lives. It was a quiet Saturday morning in the Rizzoli-Isles household and we were all following our usual routine.

I had fed the babies and Jane had gotten them both dressed, though it was _now _that Jane had decided to surprise me with the fact she had managed to get Noah and Harper spots in the local swim school this morning.

"I don't understand why this is something we _have_ to do." I complained, stomping my foot as I placed both my hands on my hips; refusing to take the nappy bag Jane was holding out to me.

"What if there's a flood?" I pursed my lips at her response, trying the best I could to contain the smile that was playing on the corner of my lips. I had spent the past month trying to convince Jane that taking our babies for swimming lessons was something that could wait until they were a little older and as it turns out, her only argument was _what if it floods?_

"Well where are we going to be?" I asked her, sitting down on the floor beside Noah who was sitting up and playing with the goggles I had bought for him. Jane looked down at me with a frown on her face as she tried to figure out what my question meant. "When it floods; where are we going to be?" I clarified, her eyes rolling dramatically when she understood.

"I just want them to know how to swim, is that so terrible?" She snapped at me, picking Harper up off the floor and resting her on her hip while she pulled our baby girls swimmers out of the bag she'd packed.

"Just promise that the second they start screaming; I can take them out of the pool." I responded, smiling across at Noah as he tried to hand the goggles to me. In true Noah fashion, the second I touched them he pulled them into his chest using the hand that wasn't holding himself up with a cheeky smile all over his sweet face.

"Can you just help me get him ready please?" Jane asked, her tone suddenly sickly sweet as she threw me the pair of swimmers we had gotten for our little boy. I forced a smile down at Noah, knowing fine well he was not going to make it easy for me to put these on him.

"Do you really think Harper will go in the water?" I asked curiously, Jane sitting down beside me as she starting dressing our baby girl in her swimsuit that fit her perfectly. Over the past three months it had become painstakingly clear that Harper was a cautious child. Noah was up for anything, so I knew swimming would just be another adventure for him, but Harper? Harper I wasn't so sure about.

"I think she's braver than we all give her credit for." Jane told me truthfully, beaming down at the little girl before her while I tried to dress Noah who was squirming underneath me. "Are you planning on getting in the water?"

"I'm not going to make you take both of the children." I told her with a frown. The mere thought of Jane holding both our six month old babies in the pool was enough to make my heart race.

"Cailin's coming though so I thought maybe she could help." I didn't plan on admitting it to Jane, but her words sent a wave of calm over me. I could sit outside of the pool with no pressure of having one of the babies screaming at me.

"I don't know if you're even going to get Harper in the water." I joked again, Janes following glare letting me know she didn't find my joke remotely funny.

An hour later I was sitting poolside in the first bikini I had dared to wear in a year and a half. The babies were happily sitting in the middle of Jane, Cailin and I; completely unaware of what they were about to have to do. We had all of fifteen minutes of sitting quietly with the babies before the swimming instructor started getting the parents and babies into the water.

I pursed my lips and sat silently as Cailin stood up and lifted Harper to rest on her hip. My daughter frowned down at me, obviously wondering why everyone was getting up and moving while I was staying where I was. Cailin and Jane walked side by side to the pool, none of us surprised when Jane walked down the stairs into the water and Noah didn't react.

Cailin made it all but three steps into the pool before Harper started screaming, clawing at her aunts shoulder trying to get her body as far away from the water as humanly possible. My sister turned around to face me; pain all over her face as her eyes pleaded with me for help. I tried to hold in my smile at the fact that I knew my baby girl better than anyone else as I made my way to the pool.

"Come on." I told Harper with a smile, lifting her out of her auntys arms and away from the water. Her screams ceased the second I got her back to where we were sitting. I cradled her close against my body, softly patting her back until she calmed down and pushed away from me gently. I sat her back down in front of me and placed her white hat on her head to protect her from any sunlight that made it through the umbrella we were underneath.

I watched on nervously from where I sat as Cailin and Jane took turns with Noah in the water, a huge beaming smile on our little boys face the whole time. Meanwhile Harper was sitting looking between her brother and the book I had bought with me to read. How could twins be _so_ different?

I lifted my little girl back into my lap, quickly grabbing the book and opening it in front of us when she started to fuss. While Jane was swimming with our little boy, I was reading to our little girl.


	19. Eleven Months Old

**11 Months Old**

It had become increasingly difficult for Maura and Jane to keep tabs on where each of their babies were during the day. Based on how fast Noah crawled once he was down on all fours; you would never know he was in hospital for a month longer than his sister. The only time both Noah and Harper would sit still was during reading time; and only if it was Maura reading to them.

Maura sat in the comfortable rocking chair that had armrests wide enough to ensure she could easily hold both of her babies at once. It had taken her _months _to figure out how to breastfeed them both at the same time without feeling like a cow, and now that she had it down pat; she loved it.

She continued reading from the book she held awkwardly in her left hand, her right softly patting Harpers back in hopes she would fall asleep much like she knew Noah would. Finding ways to make Harper nap during the day had become a colossal task for the honey blonde parent.

It wasn't long before she noticed Noah had stopped feeding and was fast asleep with her boob still in his mouth, but to Maura's surprise Harper quickly followed suit and let her head fall backwards in her mother's arms.

"How the hell do you do that?" Jane asked quietly as she walked into the nursery they had only just begun using. The familiar smell of baby powder and Maura's lavender perfume filled Jane's senses as she looked across at her wife who was in the rocking chair with each of the babies fast asleep in her arms.

"I have mad skills." Maura responded with a playful wink, placing the book she was holding down on her lap between their babies so Jane was unable to see the cover. Maura was vaguely aware of the fact both of her boobs were hanging out of her shirt, but it was impossible to feel uncomfortable when Jane made no attempt to look at her chest.

"That book is huge; what is that?" Jane asked curiously, as she lifted Harper out of her wife's arms before she placed her comfortably in her crib. Maura scrunched her nose up and closed her eyes. She had been dreading this moment for the last two months.

"You're going to laugh at me." She told Jane as she closed the book and placed it on the floor beside her as she stood up, carefully readjusting Noah in her arms to ensure she didn't wake him up. Jane placed her hands on her hips, trying to hide her smile as she looked down and caught sight of the title of the book Maura had been reading to the twins.

"You're reading them Grey's Anatomy?" Jane asked, pursing her lips together hard in order to fight the smile that was playing at their corners. Maura sighed quietly as she placed Noah in his appropriate crib, turning on the baby monitor while she placed her boobs back in her shirt and gesturted for Jane to get out of the room.

Maura closed the door quietly behind them and made her way into the kitchen, her yoga top riding up to her waist; an action she made no effort to correct in hopes it would distract Jane from their conversation. Jane took a seat at the kitchen counter, a playful smirk on her face as she waited for Maura to give her an explanation.

"I won't laugh at you." Jane promised, the smile fading from her lips as Maura began placing the babies bottles in the steriliser they had been given at their baby shower all those months ago. "Not only does you reading them that book get them to sit still, but it actually makes Harper nap, and she doesn't nap. So tell me why so I can try it one day." Jane said, trying a different angle when it became apparent Maura really didn't want to share her secret.

"If you laugh you're coming to my next conference with me." Maura said seriously, placing the lid on the steriliser and making her way to the opposite side of the counter where Jane sat, placing each of her hands on the cold marble. A small frown made its way onto Jane's face, as though she doubted if it were a deal she was willing to make. Jane nodded in agreement at her wife who let out a quiet groan. "I started reading it when they were still in my stomach; it was the only thing that made them stop kicking enough to let me nap during the day. I know it's foolish and improbable that reading that they remember that but I feel like they understand me when I read it." Maura blurted out, sighing as she pulled her top back down to her hips in defeat.

"Why would I laugh at that?" Jane questioned with a soft smile, leaning forward to take both of Maura's hands in her own. Maura shrugged casually, looking down at their conjoined hands shyly as the familiar sound of Harper talking to herself came through the baby monitor.

"That's because you didn't let me finish the chapter." Maura told Jane with a playful smile, nodding toward the babies' nursery door. Jane rolled her eyes in response, picking up the baby monitor and making her way into the bedroom.

"Right, missy." Jane said, looking down at Harper who merely smiled up at her innocently. "That does _not _count as your afternoon nap."

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Are you genuinely arguing with me about this?" Maura asked Jane in disbelief, her eyes darting to the babies who were both happily crawling around the living room, completely ignorant to their parents bickering. Angela was sitting silently on the sofa, watching her grandchildren with a bright smile as though she couldn't hear the argument taking place three metres away from her. Jane had her hands placed firmly on each of her hips, a deep frown embedded on her usually serene face.

"Maybe I should take the babies…" Angela started, both Maura and Jane's heads snapping in her direction as she quietly spoke.

"Don't, it's honestly okay." Maura responded, putting on the calmest voice she possibly could before Angela turned back around to face the babies.

"It's their first birthday and you want to have a _tea _party!" Jane started through gritted teeth, her left foot stomping on the ground as she spoke; a habit Harper was fast picking up from her mother. The first time was when Maura was trying to give her a bath. Harper was holding onto the edge of the bath for support and the second Maura uttered the word _bath, _their daughters foot stomped down hard on the tiled floor.

"Why is that so terrible?" Maura asked in confusion, trying not to roll her eyes as she made her way into the kitchen, switching off the espresso machine that was humming quietly on the bench before she grabbed two bottles out of the refrigerator.

"They are _babies_, not old people!" Jane snapped, following Maura a step behind as she walked over to where Angela sat awkwardly. Maura handed her the two bottles she held in her hands, nodding down toward the babies who were at opposite ends of the living room.

"Do you mind?" Maura asked Angela politely as her mother in law took them off her, nodding slowly as she scooped Noah up off the floor. They didn't need anyone helping them feed from bottles anymore, but Maura didn't have the heart to tell Angela to just give them their bottles and let them crawl around. No one could say when there would be more babies in the family, so they let her have her bonding time with them whenever she wanted it.

The second Harper noticed her grandmother holding the bottles; she was crawling over to her faster than Maura had ever seen her move.

"Come here." Maura snapped, grabbing Jane's arm lightly and tugging her back toward the kitchen so they would be out of hearing range. Maura and Jane knew the babies couldn't really understand what they were saying, but the harsh voices and angry tones were something any baby could pick up on.

"Do you know how boring a tea party would be?" Jane whined, her head lolling back as she bordered on a hissy fit. Jane let out a groan at the mere thought of sandwiches and pretty clothes for their babies birthday.

"Well what would you suggest Detective Smartypants?" Maura asked, her voice thick with annoyance as Jane began getting on her last nerve. Jane fought off the smile that wanted to play on her lips at her wife's cheeky nickname, but she was too annoyed to give in.

"They deserve a jumping castle and to get dirty and a petting zoo and-"

"You want to bring _farm _animals into our house?! No no no, you want to bring farm animals near them?!" Maura exclaimed, her eyes wide, nodding toward the babies as she scrunched up her nose; the mere thought of dirty animals anywhere near her babies making her want to scream.

"Maura they're baby cows and ducks; not diseased monkeys." Jane responded, her eyebrows raised as she tried to understand Maura's strong disagreement with her suggestion. There hadn't been much Jane and Maura disagreed on when it came to parenting, but it was apparent it wasn't going to be easy deciding how to spend the twins first birthday.

"Mommy's you may want to look at your daughter…." Angela's voice came suddenly from the living room, both Jane and Maura turning to look in her direction, as she sat on the eagerly on the edge of the sofa. Harper was standing alone in front of her, her eyes completely focused on Bass, who was across from her.

"Oh my god." Jane whispered, all of us seeming to hold our breath in anticipation before Harper took her first steps. She wobbled over to where Bass sat and dropped down onto her bottom the second she was by his side, leaning down and pressing her cheek against his shell softly.

"Did she just…" Maura started, swallowing the lump in her throat as she realised for the first time just how fast their babies were growing up.

"Our baby girl isn't a baby anymore." Jane said, her eyes focused on Harper, who continued smothering Bass with gentle kisses and cuddles.

"I am so proud of you!" Maura exclaimed suddenly, making everyone in the room jump as she playfully ran to where Harper sat. Maura lifted her up into her arms, bending at her waist as she covered their daughter in loving kisses.

"Your turn next little man." Jane told Noah who looked up at her with a sweet smile as she spoke. "But take your time." She added, suddenly realising how much more stressful things were about to get around the house.

"Okay. You win." Maura said suddenly as she placed Harper back down next to Bass, who in the past few months, had become her best friend, though how much of a choice Bass had in the matter was another subject altogether.

"Win?" Jane asked with a wide, innocent smile on her face.

"We'll get a jumping castle and a petting zoo, and they can get as dirty as they please." Maura resigned, an affectionate smile on her face as she watched Jane let out a quiet squeal of excitement.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Did you guys like reading it in this POV more than in Maura's? I just thought I would try something new. Lots of love! x**


	20. Twelve Months Old (Part 1)

**Twelve Months Old**

"It's so quiet." Maura pointed out in a hushed whisper as she curled into Janes side, pressing lazy kisses along her wife's jawline. Jane felt a small smile play on her lips at the feeling of being woken to Mauras naked body pressed against her.

"I can't believe it's been a whole year." Jane spoke through a yawn as she turned her whole body so she was now facing the blonde woman beside her. She forced her eyes open and was greeted with the sleepy, content grin of her wife.

"I want to talk about having more." Maura confessed, quickly moving closer so she could bury her face and avoid the look of dread that she knew would be crossing Janes face.

"Okay, let's talk about it then." Jane whispered, a small smile playing on her lips as she pressed a kiss to the top of Mauras head. The notion of having more children already had seemed daunting to Jane until she lay where she did, her arms wrapped around Maura and the sound of little feet pattering down the hallway. This was bliss. How could anyone not want more of this?

"Mama!" The sound of their little girl calling for Jane from the other side of the bedroom door made them both jump, Maura instinctively grabbing a nightgown from beside the bed and pulling it over her bare body before making her way to let the one year old in.

"Where's your brother?" Maura asked as Harper ran past her, scrambling to crawl onto the bed and onto Janes body, resting her head against her mamas as she waited for her good morning kisses. Jane was completely absorbed in rolling around the mattress with the little girl to bother making any effort to get an answer out of Harper on Mauras behalf.

"Do you know what today is?!" Jane asked excitedly, suddenly sitting up and standing Harper on her feet in her Minnie mouse pyjamas in front of her. Maura pursed her lips from the doorway, waiting to see the little girls excited reaction before she went and got her brother. "It's your birthday!" Jane exclaimed, picking the little girl up and bringing her against her chest, covering her little face in kisses.

The loud excited squeals that came from Harpers mouth in that moment would have been enough to wake the neighbourhood up, and it was in that moment Maura knew she should go help Noah out of the crib. He hadn't quite mastered climbing out the way his sister had.

"Be careful." The blonde warned as she made her way to collect their son from his crib, leaving Jane and Harper alone to continue giggling excitedly over the twins birthday.

"Do you know how old you are today?" Jane asked Harper who was now lying sideways in her mother's lap like she did when she was a newborn. Harper shook her head dramatically as she rolled a strand of Janes long curls through her fingers.

"How old are you today Noah?" Maura asked as she walked back into the room, placing the tired boy on the bed beside Jane. He instinctively stood up and wrapped his arms around Jane's shoulders, looking down at his sister whose furrowed brow warned that she was on the verge of screaming about having to share Jane's attention.

Noah let go of his dark haired parent, dropping to his knees and shuffling across the bed until he landed in Mauras lap, wasting no time in trying to pull her nightgown down so he could breastfeed.

"Maybe we should wait a little longer before we add to this craziness." Maura joked as she removed one of her arms from her nightgown so she could lower it enough to feed the little boy. Jane smiled across at her as Harper made a move to stand in Janes lap.

"How old are you today?" Jane asked the little girl again. Maura leaning back so Jane couldn't see her, holding up one finger to Harper until the little girl mimicked her mother's actions, Jane laughing as she looked back at her wife.

"Mommy, mama, mommy." Harper started rambling as she looked between her two parents.

"What is it baby?" Maura asked, tilting her head slightly as she tried to decipher what it was the little girl wanted to get across. Jane leaned across their daughter to grab her cellphone off of the bedside table, checking the time before Harper took it out of her hands, staring down at the screensaver.

"Bass." Harper said as clear as day as she pointed at the phone, both Jane and Mauras eyebrows rising in surprise. Jane tiled the phone so she could see the photo on the screen, and as usual saw a photo of Maura and the twins cuddled up in bed after a bath.

"Where's Bass babe?" Jane asked in confusion, not liking at all that their one year old was already able to completely confuse her. Maybe Harper didn't actually know what she was saying, Jane thought to herself.

"Bass!" Harper repeated, pointing down at the phone. Maura let out a quiet giggle as she took the phone from the little girls hand to examine the photo. Sure enough there Bass was hiding beside the bed right before her.

"Good girl Harper!" Maura exclaimed, placing the usual over the top smile she used whenever one of the babies achieved something onto her face.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The best thing that happened to Maura Isles in the past month was her discovery of Bostons local Baby and Me yoga studio. The mere concept of taking both of the babies at once was far too daunting for the first time mother so she found herself going twice a week, giving each of the babies the opportunity for one-on-one mommy time. Maura had made her first mommy friend at Yoga too; Holly. Holly was a stay at home mom who had a little boy only three months older than the twins.

"Why do _I_ have to do the daddy stuff?" Jane complained loudly from the backdoor where she stood watching a group of men assemble the Winnie The Pooh jumping castle Maura had ordered for the twins birthday party. It had taken Jane all of half an hour of helping them before she became too frustrated and had given up. Angela pursed her lips to stifle a laugh as she looked up at her daughter in law who held a sleeping Noah in her arms.

"Would you rather do the mommy stuff?" Maura snapped as Jane leaned her head around the corner to catch sight of her wife struggling to decorate the living room with their baby boy snuggled up against her. Jane felt her nose scrunch up; there was no way she would rather be cooped up inside _decorating. _Jane disappeared back outside with Harper in her arms.

"Let me take him." Holly spoke suddenly from the front door, placing her son Mason on the living room floor. The little dark haired boy made a b-line for the backyard when he spotted Jane and Harper rolling around on the grass.

"I am so happy to see you." Maura giggled quietly at the sight of her new best friend placing two gifts on the kitchen counter. Holly had blonde hair a shade lighter than Mauras, though her olive skin resembled Janes far more than Mauras. She always dressed well, even when she was dressed down.

"Hi birthday boy." Holly cooed as she took Noah from Mauras arms, instantly rocking from side to side to ensure he wouldn't wake up.

"Does Mason sleep a lot?" Maura asked casually as she stood on the tips of her toes to tape a banner across the front door. Holly shook her head as she continued rocking, shrugging lightly when Mauras brow furrowed. "He sleeps at least five hours longer than Harper a day."

"I wouldn't stress about it, babies are all on their own schedules Maur." Holly responded coolly, sensing Mauras worry as she looked down at the little boy who was fast asleep in her arms.

The afternoon passed by painfully fast, the backyard completely full of toddlers and family members before Maura had even finished decorating. Maura and Jane decided that rather than one of them taking both babies on the jumping castle, they would take turns taking one of them to gauge their reactions.

"Harper, come to mama." Jane called, holding her arms out to the little girl who ran on unsteady feet and threw herself into Janes arms.

"Be careful." Maura warned as she lifted Noah up into her arms. The little boy rested in her arms happily, his head wasting no time in leaning against her shoulder. "As soon as their done, mommy will take you on." Maura promised the little boy as she slowly started rocking her body side to side.

It was all of fifteen seconds later when the backyard was filled with Harpers ear shattering screams. Maura felt her heart stop, Noahs head shooting up and looking for the source of the blood curdling sound. It was then that Jane slid out of the jumping castle with Harpers face buried deep in her neck.

"Here, look." Jane cooed as she got to where Maura stood. The little girl didn't waste a second even checking that it was Maura she was being handed to, wrapping her hands around Mauras neck. "I don't think she likes jumping castles." Jane pointed out with wide eyes as she looked at Noah who was yet to have his turn.

"Why don't you get Frankie to take him in." Maura suggested, nodding toward her brother in law who was sitting with her best friend on two lawn chairs. Jane didn't say anything as she placed the boy on the ground, taking his hand and leading him toward his uncle.

"Mommy." Harper whimpered against Mauras neck. The blonde woman took a deep breath at the realisation the little girl was only screaming in fear, not from any form of physical pain.

"Do you want to go see the baby ducks?" Maura asked in the calmest voice she could as she ran a hand comfortingly up and down Harpers back. Harper nodded weakly as they made their way to the small petting zoo, the little girls mood completely changing at the sight of the baby animals.

"Mommy, duck!" Harper exclaimed excitedly when Maura bent down and placed her on the ground before the ducklings. Maura hovered where she crouched right behind the little girl, leaning forward and picking one up to carefully place it in the girls hands.

"Gentle, baby." Maura reinforced when she noticed Harpers little hands tightening around the yellow duckling. Harper bought the animal up to her face, pressing a kiss to the top of it's head before she carefully moved to place it down again.

"Bass?" Harper asked, turning around to look up Maura. The older woman couldn't help but let out a quiet giggle at her daughters enthusiasm over their tortoise.

"No baby, Bass is…" Mauras sentence was cut off by the sound of Jane screaming her name. The scream echoed through the backyard, everyone stopping what they were doing to turn their attention toward the sound. Maura looked across at Holly who was moving toward where they stood. "Watch her for me." Maura requested of her new best friend, walking past Harper before she saw her little boy lying on the grass.

His little body was thrashing around, Jane standing up staring down at him in complete shock as Frankie made an effort to keep him on his side. Maura felt as though her heart hade moved into her throat, kicking her heels off and making a b-line to where they were standing.

"What happened?" Maura asked in the calmest voice she could, pushing Jane out of the way as she bent down and looked Frankie straight in the eye, his hands shaking where they rested on Noah.

"Nothing. We were jumping and then he started to…" Frankie's words caught in his throat. Maura forced herself to look up at Jane, whose pale white face was still covered in complete shock.

"Call an ambulance."


	21. Twelve Months Old (Part 2)

**Twelve Months Old  
Part Two**

_**TRIGGER WARNING!**_**  
Be aware this chapter contains mentions of terminal illnesses**

_How much hospital time should one baby have to endure?_ Maura thought to herself as she paced back and forth down children's hospital hallway. By the time the ambulance had arrived at the house, they weren't able to wake Noah up. Jane had stayed behind with Harper and the rest of the family while Maura rode with the little boy to the hospital.

"Maura?" Tommy's voice came from beside Maura suddenly, stopping her in her tracks as she looked at him in complete bewilderment. "How is he?"

"I don't know; they rushed him off for tests the second we got here." Maura responded truthfully, shrugging her shoulders as a slight shiver ran down her spine. Tommy placed a reassuring hand on his sister in laws lower back, kissing the side of her head gently.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly as Maura settled in against his side, not bothering to ask him to leave or not touch her. Her arms felt empty without one of her babies in them; it was nice to feel someone against her.

"He'll be fine." Was all Maura could manage to get out before the elevator doors in front of them opened, Jane emerging with Harper fast asleep in her arms. Maura instinctively rolled her eyes as she pushed away from the wall she and Tommy had found themselves resting against. "You bought her to the hospital?" Maura complained as she took Harper from her mother who was yet to look Maura in the eye.

"I'll take her home whenever you're ready." Tommy announced in that quiet, empathetic voice people had spoken to Maura in when Noah was in the hospital when he was a newborn. It was the voice of someone who didn't believe her baby was, in fact, going to be okay.

"Hi baby." Maura cooed when Harper slowly started to wake up, seeming confused as to how she had gone from being at home with Jane and her friends to the hospital with Maura. The little girl stretched her arms out and rested her lips against Mauras in an attempt to give her mother a kiss.

"Bass?" Harper asked innocently, leaning back to look her mother directly in the eye. Maura felt a smile creep onto her lips at her daughter's simple request. Never before had Maura been so thankful that the babies were still too young to really grasp concepts.

"Uncle Tommy is going to take you home so you can play with Bass, okay? And mommy will be home to put you into bed tonight." Maura knew she shouldn't be making any kind of promises to the little girl, but it was impossible not to feel the need to assure her that mommy would be home soon.

In a matter of minutes Harper had given both of her mothers' a kiss and was gone, leaving Jane and Maura alone in the otherwise empty hallway. The blonde woman slipped her hand into her wife's and lead her to the end of the hallway where there were a bunch of empty, depressing grey plastic chairs.

"What are we going to do if he dies?" Jane asked in a quiet voice, leaning forward to place her head in her hands between her knees. Maura swallowed hard, not wanting to admit that that was the first thought that ran through her mind when she saw Noah on the ground.

"We are not having this discussion." Maura warned her wife, keeping her voice quiet and harsh as she spoke as she caught a glimpse of Noahs doctor making his way toward them down the hallway.

"Is he okay?" Jane asked, jumping to her feet as the doctor stood before them. He didn't say anything as he gestured down the hallway, both of the women knowing that wasn't good news.

"Just tell us he's okay." Maura begged once the doctor's office door was closed behind them. The second Jane and Maura were sitting down, their hands were joined together underneath the table.

"We found a mass on Noahs brain." Mauras breath caught in her throat, her eyes widening. Jane's eyes darted between the doctor and Maura, trying desperately to know whatever Maura seemed to know. "It's looking to be a grade two, which isn't terrible considering…"

"A grade two what?" Jane asked innocently, frowning at the doctor as Maura began to shake from beside her.

"Tumour" Maura responded. "He has brain cancer."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"A tumour? What does that mean?" Angela asked when Jane and Maura returned home later that afternoon. They had both decided to go home and put Harper to bed, along with filling Angela and Constance in on what they had found out.

"We don't know yet." Jane responded as Maura turned the kettle on, giving her own mother the bravest smile she could as she rested her body weight on the counter in front of her.

"They need to do more tests." Maura confirmed, realising how little information Janes statement had given the two worried grandparents. Harper came walking into the room, reaching up for Jane who effortlessly lifted her onto her hip.

"Did you play with Bass today?" Jane asked with a warm smile, kissing the side of the little girls face as she spoke. Harper nodded, seeming to completely understand what it was Jane was asking her.

"Do you want mommy or mama to give you a bath babe?" Maura asked as she poured herself a cup of green tea; the moment she had been most excited about all afternoon. Harper merely pointed at Jane before throwing her arms around her neck. Jane chuckled quietly and excused herself before she left the room with Harper.

"It's bad." Angela said without context, Maura looking up to meet the eyes of both her mother and her mother in law. The blonde woman swallowed hard, her heart hammering in her chest as she debated how much she should say.

"There's a five year survival rate if it's really bad." Maura whispered, shrugging lightly as though that was the best news any of them had gotten in years. Angela nodded slowly, her eyes slowly shifting to look at the place where Jane just stood.

"For all we know he'll be perfectly fine." Constance chimed in, her voice louder and cheerier than anyone else's had been since this afternoon. Maura took a deep breath, placing the mug she held in her hands back down on to the kitchen counter.

"Best case scenario he has surgery to remove the tumour and goes through months of recovery with every risk of it coming back, mother. He is not going to be _fine._" Maura knew if there was one person in the world she could correct in this way; it was Constance Isles. The older woman stared at her daughter, as though waiting for more.

"What are you going to tell Harper?" Angela asked quietly, looking down at her feet as she spoke. Again, Maura took a deep breath. She was yet to think of how she was going to talk to Jane about it, how she was supposed to know when, or how, they were going to explain it to a one year old was beyond her.

"We are not telling her anything yet. She's just turned one." Maura reminded both of the women who were standing staring at her. Today, she realised. Today their babies had turned one, and today they had found out they could possibly lose one of them.

"And you had no idea he was sick?" Angela asked, Maura coming to the end of her rope as she dropped the mug into the sink, ignoring the sound of shattering china as she turned back to face her mother in law.

"He was sleeping _all _the time and I did nothing. He didn't start talking like Harper did, and I did nothing. He stumbled _every _time he took two steps and I thought nothing of it." Maura stopped herself, realising there were tears beginning to trickle from her eyes. Constance placed a hand on Angela's arm to stop her when the Italian woman made a move to hug Maura.

"Sweetheart there is nothing you could have…"

"If you tell me there was nothing I could have done I will scream." Maura warned, laughing between quiet sobs. The last thing she needed was people telling her it wasn't her fault she didn't realise her baby was sick. Maura grabbed her handbag, suddenly feeling as though the air in her kitchen was far too thin. "Tell Jane I went back to the hospital."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **

"Any news?" Maura asked as she walked into Noahs room, her son lying fast asleep in his little crib. The doctor jumped slightly at Mauras sudden presence, but offered her a warm smile none the less. Both Jane and Maura were thankful their little boy had his own room, there would have been nothing worse than seeing other families go through what they were potentially about to go through.

"Do you want to wait until your wife…" The doctor started, nodding toward the empty doorway.

"No, I'll tell her." Maura interrupted, knowing that if the roles were reversed, Jane would have found the information out straight away and relayed it to her later.

"It's definitely a grade two tumour, which essentially means we could operate but there's a chance…"

"It'll always come back." Maura finished his sentence, remembering the three months she had done placement on an oncology ward in medical school.

"But with chemotherapy and radiation he may go on to live a fulfilling life." The doctor added, completely changing his tone when he spoke now. Maura knew he was only saying it for her sake, and she was thankful.

The doctor continued giving her information she was already aware of and before she knew it; he was gone and it was Jane standing in the room beside her.

"It's a grade two tumour. Even if they remove it and if they get all of it, it could come back." Maura told her wife who bent down over Noahs small crib to press kisses to his face the way she had done to his sister hours earlier.

"What do we do?" Jane asked, her eyes red when she turned to look at Maura. The blonde woman let out a quiet sigh before she wrapped her arms around Jane's shoulders. The brunette collapsed into her wife's arms, violent sobs shaking her whole body.

"We need to talk about him either having the surgery and risking it coming back and putting him through it for the rest of his life. Or we don't do the surgery and get to spend the next four, maybe five years with him." Jane pulled back and looked Maura in the eye for the first time, the reality of the situation hitting them both as the words left Mauras mouth.

"Either way, he's going to die." Jane concluded.


	22. Thirteen Months Old

**13 Months Old**

The past month had been a complete blur. Jane and Maura had opted with surgery for the little boy, and with a month of waiting ahead of them they had decided they needed as much family time as possible. Both the women took time off work and poured their heart and souls into not only their little boy, but their little girl. They took their children to Paris to see where Maura grew up, they went to Hawaii and spent two weeks on a beach and were completely in love with their little family.

Maura had purchased a high quality camera and taken so many photos of their happy little family they already needed a new photo album. They had spent the past month falling in love with their babies again, and now it was time to face the reality no one was prepared for.

"So the plan is…" The doctor started as Maura and Jane sat side by side in his familiar office. Harper loudly let out a scream when Noah took the block she was holding on the ground out of her hands. The doctor seemed completely unphased, obviously completely used to having screaming toddlers in his presence. "We're going to resect the tumour, and at the same time we'll do a biopsy so we don't have to go in twice."

"And what will the biopsy tell us?" Jane asked, biting down on the inside of her bottom lip as she struggled with the mental image of Noah's brain being cut into, even if it was for the best.

"It will give us a clearer idea of what sort of tumour we're dealing with." The doctor smiled sympathetically, his eyes moving to rest on Noah on the floor before coming back to look Jane in the eye. "And to also confirm the presence of cancer cells."

"So you do think it is cancerous?" Maura asked, not missing the fact that the doctor had merely used the phrased _confirm the presence._

"It's strikingly similar to what you'd see in a cancerous tumour; yes. But we won't know for sure either way until we do the biopsy." Maura knew he was just throwing her a bone with his second comment.

"And if it is... Cancer." Jane swallowed hard, the word seeming to get caught in her throat. The doctor nodded slowly, not needing Jane to finish her question to know what she was asking.

"We'll talk about that when it comes." Jane made a mental note to ask Maura what the next cause of action will be if it is cancer when they were alone later. "Are you both staying until he goes in?"

"No." Jane responded quickly, chuckling awkwardly as she shook her head. There was _no _way she would be able to see their little boy being sedated and wheeled away. "I'm going to wait downstairs with Harper." She added, thinking that if the doctor thought the only reason she wasn't coming with them was because they had another baby to look after; he wouldn't think she was such a bad parent.

"He's a mommy's boy anyway." Maura joked; lightly pinching Jane's leg in an attempt to convince her it was okay for her to not be able to handle it.

"Well if you don't have any more questions…"

"What… What about the fact he hasn't spoken at all yet." Jane knew her question wasn't worded as a question, but the doctor seemed to understand none the less.

"Unfortunately we won't really know how much damage the tumour has caused until he begins to grow." The doctor replied empathetically.

Jane and Maura had decided they didn't want Harper to be around in any capacity when they started running tests and preparing Noah for surgery, so with all their questions answered Jane sat down on the ground between the two toddlers and pulled them into her lap. Jane instinctively started pressing light kisses against Noah's cheek, as smile playing on the boy's lips at his mother's affection.

"We have to go now baby girl." Jane told Harper who was far more focused on the blocks Jane had distracted them from when she came to sit down. Maura felt tears burning behind her eyes and forced herself to look at the wall behind the doctor in front of her. "You have to say goodbye." Jane's words caught in her throat as her own tears began to trickle down her olive toned face.

Harper frowned at Jane's show of emotion but leant forward and pressed her lips against Noahs face lazily. The little girl hadn't quite figured out how to pucker her lips yet, so instead she just rested her lips against his skin. Jane chuckled quietly before she let Harper go so she could pick up some of the blocks.

"I will see you really soon, little man." Jane promised Noah, her chest heaving with the silent sobs that shook through her. The brunette forced herself to her feet, picking both the babies up and placing Noah in Mauras lap.

"I love you." Maura whispered when Jane leant Harper towards her so she could kiss her goodbye. Jane sniffled quietly as Maura's hand came in contact with her own. "I'll see you soon." Maura added, mirroring Janes promise to their little boy.

"I love you." Jane reminded her, leaning down to press her lips against her wife's softly, lingering far longer than usual. "Good luck."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

It only took an hour and a half in the waiting room before Harper had fallen asleep in Maura's arms, the toddler eventually getting bored of walking around smiling at strangers in the room. Jane and Maura were yet to say a word to one another; though their hands clasped together tightly in Janes lap said more than their words ever could have.

"This shouldn't be happening." Jane whispered, careful not to wake up the sleeping girl in her wife's arms. Maura stretched her neck, moving her head from side to side before she looked at Jane, waiting for her to continue. "What are we doing to do if he has cancer? _Cancer_, Maura."

"I don't know." Maura admitted truthfully; not able to comprehend how they had gotten here. She had been able to diagnose her dates, people she hardly knew. Yet she spent every waking minute with her son and couldn't see that he was sick. She couldn't deny that she felt guilty.

"How do families survive this?" Jane asked, her voice breaking as she stared at the wall across from them.

"Together." Maura said, mentally cringing at how cliché she sounded. "We'll get through whatever happens together. Let's just take it one day at a time." Maura suggested calmly, lifting Jane's hand to her face so she could press reassuring kisses to the back of her wife's hand. Maura's eyes drifted to the little girl sleeping in her lap, her stomach turning as she realised for the first time that forcing her to sleep in a hospital was probably not ideal.

"I'll call our moms." Jane said, seemingly reading Maura's mind as she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. Both of their eyes darted to the clock on the wall before them. It was almost dinner time. They should have the twins in their high chairs at the dining table giggling and chastising Harper from stealing her brother's food. Yet here they sat.

"One of us should go with her." Maura thought aloud as she softly ran her hand up and down the little girls back, finding complete comfort in the way her daughters back slowly moved with her breathing. Jane shook her head, taking Maura's hand in her own and giving it a soft squeeze.

"It's getting late; all she'll be doing is sleeping." Maura knew what Jane was saying was true, but the thought of both of their babies being without their moms gave Maura nothing but heartache.

By the time Noah's surgery was finally over, four and a half hours later, Angela and Constance had come to pick Harper up and Jane had fallen asleep in the plastic chair beside her wife. There were no other people in the quiet waiting room, and the longer Maura sat waiting for news, the more anxious she got.

"Hey." Noah's surgeon whispered quietly from beside the blonde woman suddenly. Without missing a beat Maura shook Jane with the hand that was resting on her thigh. Maura's eyes stayed focused on the doctors, searching for any indication of what news he was about to give them. This was the moment of truth.

"How did he go?" Jane asked in a groggy voice, both she and Maura standing up and clasping their hands together anxiously. The doctor let out a quiet sigh but nodded slowly, offering them a small smile before he spoke.

"It was far larger than we anticipated, but I'm confident in saying we got it all." Maura let out a gasp of air, the weight of the past two hours seeming to lift from her shoulders instantaneously.

"How long will it take before you know about the… C word?" Jane asked, Maura pursing her lips to hide the smile that nearly broke out on her lips. Cancer had become a dirty, forbidden word in their small tight nit family.

"We're going to keep him in for the next week, so hopefully within the next three or four days we'll have a definitive diagnosis." Maura extended her hand that wasn't still being squeezed by her wife and shook the man's hand, completely aware of the fact those hands were just on her sons brain. "I'll take you to see him." The doctor promised with a soft smile, gesturing toward the direction he had just come from.

The sight of their little boy lying in the small crib with his head covered in gauze and bandages all but knocked the wind from Jane's chest. Maura felt Jane's demeanour change and turned to kiss her shoulder gently.

"Can I pick him up?" Jane asked, turning to look at the nurse who was hovering close by. The young woman nodded with a sympathetic smile. _How could anyone work in a place like this?_ Jane thought. Jane lifted Noah out of the crib carefully, sitting in a big plastic rocking chair and cradling him in her arms.

"We are so proud of you, little guy." Maura whispered as she bent down to press her lips to the little boys head, suddenly wondering if his small mess of blonde hair was all shaved away before the surgery. Jane nodded in agreement, closing her eyes to allow a stray tear fall onto the little boy's bare chest.

"Do you think your parents will pay for a private room for us?" Jane could barely believe the words that left her mouth, but there was no denying that her sons care and wellbeing came first. If that meant borrowing money so they could stay in a room with him while he was in hospital; so be it.

"I imagine they're already setting it up." Maura responded, playfully nudging Jane. They had the most loved babies in the world; there was no doubt in Maura's mind that her parents had already begun organising something.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

I hope you're all still enjoying the story! I won't promise one way or another what is going to happen but I promise it'll be a rollercoaster ride!

For those of you _STILL_ second guessing the facts in the story; shut up. I do my research and if it bothers you so much stop reading.


	23. Chapter 23

Jane Rizzoli had seen some truly heart wrenching, terrible things in her line of work. She had seen children slaughtered, families torn apart and people's lives ripped into a million tiny pieces right before her eyes. None of these things came half as close to breaking her heart as what she saw when she came home from work one Friday afternoon.

"Maura?" Jane called out quietly, careful not to wake their little girl who she assumed was napping in her own bed. Jane made her way into their master bedroom, stopping in her tracks when she found Maura and Harper curled up together on the bed. Their little girl was lying flat on her back, both of her hands resting on Maura's face. Maura had her arms draped lazily around the little girl, quiet but violent sobs shaking her whole body.

Two days ago they had found out that Noah's tumour was in fact, cancerous. Jane had noted how calm Maura had appeared at the hospital and assumed the fact she wasn't ready to tell their family was merely because she needed her own time to process. It looked like her process was complete.

Jane silently slid her shoes off and placed her badge and gun on top of the wardrobe before making her way to the bed. Harper's attention never left Maura as Jane crawled into the bed on the opposite side of the little girl. Jane locked her fingers with her wife's, the blonde woman jumping as she realised for the first time that she was no longer alone.

"I'm here." Jane whispered, lifting the hand she was holding in her own to her lips. Maura pulled her hand back slightly in protest, embarrassed that she was caught in such a moment of weakness. "Don't." Jane begged, her voice beginning to shake as the raw emotion of the situation began to wash over her.

"I tried to explain to Harper what this all meant." Maura told Jane after ten minutes of calming herself down. The little girl between them had slowly began to gravitate closer to Jane, her eyes struggling to stay open as her dark haired mother gently played with her blonde curls. "She smiled. I told her Noah had cancer and she smiled, Jane." Jane pursed her lips, understanding that their daughter's pure innocence and blissful ignorance was what pushed Maura over the edge.

"You know she doesn't understand." Jane responded calmly, though her heart felt as though it wanted to jump straight out of her chest. Maura sighed, nodding in understanding as she tore her eyes away from their little girl and directing them to the roof above them instead.

"Everyone's going to be here soon, honey." Jane added, glancing at the watch dangling from Maura's wrist. The blonde woman groaned, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to Harper's head before she slid out of bed and walked directly into the ensuite to clean herself up.

"Do you know if Tommy and Lydia are bringing TJ?" Maura called out as Jane sat up on the mattress, pulling Harper into her lap and slowly rocking her until the little girls eyes stayed closed.

"Considering their only babysitter will be here, yeah." Jane joked. Angela Rizzoli had without a doubt been the greatest, most involved grandmother any of her children could have ever asked for. "Though she doesn't seem like she's in a very playful mood." Jane observed with a slight frown. It was definitely not like their little girl to be so still and quiet.

"Can you get Harper dressed for me, please?" Maura called out again, her voice strained and Jane could imagine the blonde woman applying her favourite shade of pink lipstick as she spoke. Jane didn't bother mentioning that Harper was _finally _napping, instead opting for carrying the sleepy girl into her own room.

Jane placed Harper down on the changing table that was fast becoming far too small for their one year old. Why Harper even needed to be in proper clothing for dinner was beyond Jane, but this was most certainly not the night to argue with Maura about etiquette.

Jane pulled a pair of black tights over the little girl's legs followed by a white singlet and a mini mouse sweater. It was strange not feeling the need to rush to get one of their babies ready. More often than not Jane would be juggling getting both Harper _and _Noah dressed while Maura did her make up. It was unsettling having finished dressing her daughter so quickly.

Jane made her way downstairs with Harper in her arms, placing the little girl on her own steady feet the second they were in the living room. Jane let out a quiet sigh as she sat down on the sofa, her eyes resting on her daughter who looked around the room, seemingly unsure of what she was meant to be doing.

"Mammmma." Harper whined suddenly, a frown on her face as she dropped to the floor, resting her hand in her hands. Jane frowned down at her, completely unaware of what was going on. Without bothering to knock, Angela let herself in the front door; without missing a beat she made her way to where her granddaughter was lying.

"What's wrong?" Angela asked as Harper buried her face in her neck, sighing quietly as she placed her thumb in her mouth and begun being rocked side to side. Jane shrugged her shoulders lazily, her eyes beginning to burn the second her mother sat down beside her. Why was it people are able to keep their emotions in check until their moms are around?

Angela didn't say another word, her eyes closing as she placed a hand on Jane's thigh. If there was one thing Jane was truly thankful for, it was that she rarely needed to vocalise things with her mother.

Not five minutes passed before Maura was downstairs, Harper screaming until she was in her mother's arms, where she would end up staying all night long. Family members began to slowly trickle in and before Jane had the chance to even open a beer, they were all sat around the dining table staring intently at both Maura and Jane.

The two women shared a glance, both of them realising that they probably should have talked about how they were going to give the family the news. Jane had never felt so underprepared in her whole life. She wasn't ready to deal with how she felt about what was happening, how was she supposed to deal with how her family did?

"Um, so we obviously have some bad news." Jane started, clearing her throat as Maura looked down at Harper who was happily and quietly breastfeeding in her lap. Everyone around the table seemed to tense. Jane knew she didn't need to vocalise for them, but maybe she need to for herself. "He has cancer."

"Oh god." Cailin sighed, closing her eyes and instantly standing up and making her way to stand behind Maura, gently wrapping her arms around her sister's shoulders and resting her chin on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." Frankie whispered, looking down at his hands as he spoke. Tommy scooted his chair closer to his sister, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling Jane tightly against him. The whole room got quiet, everyone suddenly seeming to feel the need to be in physical contact with another family member.

Jane's arms had never felt so empty. She had gotten used to being able to distract herself when she felt particularly vulnerable or emotional with one of her babies.

"You don't have to hide from us, Janie." Angela reminded her quietly, staring across the table at her daughter sympathetically. Jane nodded, forcing a smile as the burning behind her eyes became unbearable. The second the first tears fell from her eyes, Frankie was behind her, pulling her chair out and pulling his sister into a standing position.

"I love you." He murmured as he wrapped his arms around his older sister. Jane could have sworn her heart was in her throat as she grasped onto his shirt, her legs becoming weak as she, for the first time, let it all out.

"Baby…" Angela started from beside them suddenly, sniffling quietly as she placed a comforting hand on her daughters back. Jane shook her head, refusing to let go of her brother. Frankie and Jane had always been close, and this was exactly what Jane needed.

"What happens now?" Constance asked as Jane slowly let go of her brother, instead wrapping an arm around his waist as she wiped her eyes and looked across at her mother-in-law.

"He starts chemotherapy on Monday." Maura spoke matter-of-factly, turning her head to check that her wife was no longer in tears. Jane gave her a small, warm smile in return. "But it's not easy because of where the tumour was located."

"He has to have it through a tube thing attached to his skull." Jane told everyone, Maura not able to help the small smirk that played on her lips at her wife's complete lack of detail in her description.

"The outlook isn't that terrible, we all just have to keep positive." Maura added, the air far too thick with emotion.

"If you guys want to come up with us tomorrow, he's having a bunch of blood tests done and I'm sure he could use everyone's support." Jane suggested to the family, knowing Maura would completely support the idea of having him surrounded by family. Everyone nodded without hesitation.

"Harper seems to be struggling." Cailin whispered to Maura, though everyone in the otherwise silent room heard what she was saying. The blonde woman let out a quiet sigh of agreement. Their little girl was seeming far from happy today.

"I'll have to look up what the studies say about twins in this particular situation." Maura concluded, gently stroking Harper's hair away from her face as she spoke.

"Not everything can be explained by studies, sweetheart." Hope reminded Maura, no one seeming to be able to just outright tell Maura it was just because Harper missed her brother.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I am extremely aware that there are people who are going to no longer want to read this story because of where they think it's headed; and I completely respect that. However, what I don't respect is being made to feel terrible about the way I'm writing my own stories that I only write for fun.**

**If the story context bothers you, please just close the window and go about your day. There is no need for you to send me rude, uncalled for messages telling me you hate it or that I'm ruining the story. I've had my excitement about where I planned this story finishing chipped away at and I no longer am finding any joy in posting chapters, only dread about what mean reviews and messages I am going to get because of it.**

**I had no intention of killing a main character in this story and the fact there are people telling me I've "lost a reader" because of where I merely _suggested _the storyline was headed makes me feel sick.**

**I'm taking a step back from this in hopes my enthusiasm will soon return.**

**For all of you amazing people who have done nothing but encourage and support me, I appreciate you all more than you could ever imagine and I'm sure I won't be absent for long!**

**xo**


	24. Chapter 24

Maura Isles didn't grow up feeling as though she were truly a part of a family. She knew her adoptive mother and father loved her in their own ways, but she never knew what it was like to experience the unconditional love she doted onto her own children. She didn't grow up with uncles, aunties and cousins around her all the time. She never even knew what it was like to have a sleepover at a grandparent's house. Yet here she sat with her mother-in-law on one side of her with Harper in her lap, and her half-sister on her other side holding her little boy.

Jane was happily perched across the room on Tommy's lap with TJ cuddled up in her arms, the rest of the room filled with their family members. The hospital had decided to let Noah sleep in a proper bed with guard rails rather than in the crib he barely fit in, and everyone was taking their turns sitting on the bed playing with his toys with him.

"Are the doctors being nice?" Cailin asked as she pressed playful kisses to Noah's cheek, earning a gleeful squeal followed by a nod in response. The room was filled with nothing but love and laughter, a complete polar opposite to how the dining room felt last night. It surprised Maura how fast everyone was to ensure they could be here today. There was not one family member missing from this room.

"Have you still gotten to breastfeed him?" Angela asked curiously as she pulled Harper's hair up into a high bun on top of the little girls head. All the men in the room suddenly had something else to talk about, distracting themselves from talking about or looking at Maura's breasts. Jane rolled her eyes, sensing the change in the demeanour of her brother.

"Jane bottle fed him this morning because we have to be really aware of how much he's taking in because of the drugs." Maura told Angela who mindlessly nodded along with her.

"And this thing…" Cailin started, gently moving the tube coming out of the back of Noah's bandaged head so Maura could see what she was asking about.

"That's where they're administering the chemotherapy today." Maura responded, seemingly happy to answer any questions the family had about what was happening today.

"And we're allowed to stay while it happens?"

"He'll get sleepy and if he starts getting sick we'll probably ask you guys to leave, but yeah." Jane interjected as she made her way to the bed, handing TJ to Frankie before she sat down beside her wife, not hesitating to lean forward and press her lips against Maura's. There was no doubt she now had traces of red lipstick on her lips; it was worth it.

"Are you sure you want us here for his first dosage?" Angela asked, resting her chin on Harper's shoulder as she quietly spoke to both Maura and Jane. Suddenly Noah was holding one of his toy dinosaurs out toward his sister.

"Mommy." His voice silenced the room, everyone's eyes darting to the little boy who had just loudly and clearly said his first word. Maura swallowed hard as Harper took the toy from his hands and immediately placed it in her mouth.

"Did he just call her mommy?" Cailin asked with pursed lips, the look on her face hinting that she wanted to scream of excitement.

"Mommy." Noah said clearly again, reaching both of his arms out toward Maura. Without saying a word Maura lifted him off Cailin's lap and into her arms where he contently rested his head against her chest, his whole body relaxing.

"You are so incredible." Jane laughed as she placed a careful kiss to Noah's head. Cailin stood up and walked over to Hope, wrapping her arms around her mother's waist and resting her head on her chest much like Noah had just done to Maura.

"Mommy!" Harper whined suddenly, kicking and throwing her arms around when Maura didn't immediately pick her up.

"Mommy is having a cuddle with Noah, but Mama will hold you sweetheart." Maura cooed, running a hand across Harper's cheek as Jane reached out for her. The little girl frowned, pulling away from Jane and burying herself deeper in Angela's arms.

"I think we've been giving her too much attention." Maura pointed out, never having seen her daughter act so jealous of her brother before. A nurse came into the room, her eyes widening as she noted the numerous family members scattered all over the place.

"Someone has a few supporters!" The young woman noted sweetly, making her way directly to where Maura sat with Noah cradled comfortably in her arms. "Is everyone planning on staying today?"

"Is that okay?" Jane asked nervously, not wanting anything to remotely compromise their sons medical care. The nurse nodded slowly as she picked up Noah's clipboard, writing down notes before she gave Jane her full attention.

"Chemotherapy does lower your body's immune system so it's suggested anyone who's sick or who has been sick recently stays away until they are in tip top shape." The nurse informed Jane as her eye's darted around the room full of healthy adults. "And so long as both the other toddlers are fully immunised they're fine to stay too. Just be aware this won't be easy for poor little Noah." She pursed her lips apologetically before she left the room, everyone staring at the sleepy boy in Maura's arms.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Jane and Maura had decided to ask everyone to leave, at least for Noah's first treatment. They needed to know what this was going to be like before they let anyone else experience it. Angela had offered to take Harper back to their house in order to keep her in some sort of normal routine. The blood tests had come back as perfect as they could have been and so the little boy's treatment was set to begin.

They had decided to start with Noah lying on Maura's lap, his head on her chest with his pacifier firmly in his mouth and Jane's index finger trapped in his hand. The doctor reminded them he would be right outside if they needed him, but that they should prepare for potential vomiting and a few painful tears. In retrospect; it was all normal.

"I feel so terrible about Harper." Maura admitted as she softly ran her hand up and down Noah's back in an effort to calm him as the drugs pumped into his system for the very first time. Jane nodded in agreement, biting her bottom lip as she tore her eyes away from Noah in order to look up at her wife.

"I've never seen her act that jealous before." Jane noted, remembering the way Harper had whined the second Maura's arms were wrapped around Noah rather than herself. Who would have thought such a short period of time experiencing what it would be like being an only child would affect her so strongly?

"Remind me that she won't remember this." Maura begged, earning an affectionate smile from Jane who skilfully pulled her chair closer to the bed with her foot so she could kiss Maura's hand.

"Honey by the time we get home tonight she won't remember." Jane playfully reminded her, earning a small giggle in response just as Noah began coughing. Without thinking Jane tugged the pacifier out of his mouth to ensure that if he did throw up, it came out. The doctor had given Maura a towel to place over her clothing, and as milk spilled out of her sons mouth and onto her chest, Maura was thankful.

"It's okay, sweetheart." Maura cooed quietly, folding the towel in half while continuing to rub his back in the most calming manner she possibly could. The doctor had decided they were going to do a week of chemo at a time, which meant either Maura or Jane would be here every day going through this. The thought suddenly made Maura's whole body feel exhausted.

"We'll take it in turns." Jane promised quietly, immediately noticing the worried expression that came across Maura's otherwise perfectly serene face. Maura gave her wife an affectionate smile. Jane Rizzoli always knew exactly what she needed.

Maura went back to softly running her hand up and down the little boys back, pressing gentle kisses to the top of his head while he loudly sucked on his pacifier. His eyes never left Janes.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

When both Maura and Jane returned home later that night, Harper was wide awake on the living room floor surrounded by books and toys. Angela innocently looked up at them, holding her hands up before her in surrender before they could chastise her for letting Harper stay awake.

"I put her to bed _four_ times and she screamed bloody murder." Angela confessed, all three women looking down at the sleepy toddler who was fighting sleep. Maura let out a quiet sigh and handed her bag to Jane before making her way toward their daughter.

"Come here, honey." Maura cooed, lifting Harper into her arms and immediately making her way up to their master bedroom to help soothe the little girl and remind her that she was always their number one girl.

"How did it go?" Angela asked as she wrapped her arms around Jane's shoulders, the brunette not bothering to push her mother away, instead clinging on tightly and closing her eyes. Nothing in this world compared to a mothers hug, even at 38 years old.

"He threw up a few times and had a bit of a cry, but he's okay." Jane shrugged as she let go of her mother, rolling her tense shoulders while she placed Maura's handbag on the kitchen counter top. Jane felt as though she could sleep for days after tonight. "I'm worried about Maura."

"Come here." Angela suggested, sitting down on the sofa and patiently awaiting Jane to join her. Angela's hands automatically came to rest on her daughter's thigh.

"We've been together so long and been through so much, ma, and I can see she's in pain but she won't talk to me." Jane informed her mother quietly, looking down at her hands that were folded neatly in her lap awkwardly.

"She's upstairs right now trying to put your little angel to bed, sweetheart. Go cuddle up with your family. We all know what Maura is like; she won't talk until she's ready. She's not used to having people want to know if she's okay like you are." Jane nodded along to her mother's words. Mother's made everything better. Jane let out a loud sigh before snuggling herself up against Angela's side.

"I love you."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Jane quietly opened their bedroom door, praying that if Maura had been able to get Harper to sleep that she wouldn't wake her up with her presence. The room was dark, the only light coming from the candles Maura had lit on either side of the bed.

"We're still awake." Maura whispered, Jane's heart skipping a beat at the relaxed tone of her wife's voice. The brunette crawled up the bed and slid in beside Harper who was happily cuddled up against Maura breastfeeding.

"How's she doing?" Jane asked, propping herself up on one of her arms as she softly ran a hand up and down the little girls clothed back. Maura nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. That was good enough for Jane Rizzoli.

"How are you?" Maura asked, her eyes seeming to struggle to stay open as she reached across their little girl to rest her hand on Jane's hipbone. It never ceased to amaze Jane that even after all this time, one touch from Maura and everything felt completely okay again.

"I'm sad, but I'm okay." Jane responded truthfully, forcing a smile as she removed her hand from Harper's back and placed it over her wife's. "Do you want to talk about today?"

"What about today?" Maura asked innocently. No matter how much time passed or how many times Jane and her family proved they were around for the long hall, Maura constantly was forgetting that she was no longer alone in the world. People cared about her, and it was hard for her to get used and accept that fact.

"Our little boy started chemotherapy." Jane stated blankly, her comment lingering in the silence that followed. Maura took a deep breath before she found her voice again.

"I am terrified, all the time. I'm scared that we're putting Harper through the benign neglect I was subjected to as a child, and I'm scared that I won't be able to hold it together for Noah." Maura spoke quickly, her eyes leaving Jane's to rest on the toddler in her arms.

"It's okay to be scared, sweetheart." Jane reminded her gently, trying to keep the sympathetic look she knew Maura hated off of her face. "I'm scared too, but you have to start talking to me." Maura nodded, knowing everything Jane was telling her was true.

"I will, I promise. I sometimes… I don't want to be a bad parent." The words broke Jane's heart, her eyes closing as she tried to comprehend that Maura genuinely thought she could ever be anything other than amazing to their babies.

"That will never happen. You are such an incredible mother, Maura Isles."

"Rizzoli." Maura teased, moving her leg so she could gently kick Jane, earning a quiet chuckle from the dark haired detective. "I love you." The smile's completely disappeared from both of their faces as they lay staring at one another; the look they shared in that moment saying more than any words ever could.

"I love you so much."

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I have had the most incredible influx of support over the past 24 hours. I've received messages from 12 different people and so many other kind words expressed via the review section.**

**You are all incredible, encouraging, kind people. Thank you for the motivation I needed to get through this chapter. You're all the reason I plan on never letting anyone's negative opinion stopping me again. Thank you.**


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